Going through a crisis.

[ChapinHoney]

Hi Everyone!

Well, exactly a week ago, I turned 28. It never occured to me how fast life was going untill I woke up one day and I was nearly 30 years old. I am completely devastated. Ever wish you can just pause life and stay young forever? I am completely disappointed that I am where I am at this point in my life.

I just completed my Bachelor's degree in psychology 2 and a half years ago..after that I had my resume all ready and prepared to go get a job in a related field before I ultimately decided whether I would go back to pursue an advanced degree in my field. I was all set to work for a bit and go back to pursue a masters in Special Education. I thought I knew for sure that I wanted to work with children.

Now I'm not so sure. Do I really want to do that for the rest of my life? I am also thinking of other completely unrelated fields I should have checked out. But going to back school, and then changing my mind again?

Then I got really comfortable in an office job with my sister. Too comfortable that I got way too lazy to look for a job and began making excuses as to why I didnt look for a job in my field. I also hadnt put any thought at all into when or if I would go to graduate school. My job now is nice and I love the people that I work with, but being a secretary doing data entry is not my career choice and not what I thought I would be doing. But I just dont have the motivation to do anything else.....

As for my love life...I just ended a 4 year relationship 8 months ago. He was an amazing person and I know that he would have made a good husband. But I didnt have that "OMG I'm in love!" feeling with him, and I dont think I ever have. I know for sure that I dont miss him, but maybe what I want doesnt even exist. I want to be in love with someone...but I've never been really "in love" and I dont think I will ever find it.

Just having turned 28 now, I feel too old and like I have no time to really find someone and am wondering if I should just settle. I do want kids very much and I want the family and the Minivan and all that good stuff. I feel like if I had all that, I wouldnt have been so devastated by another birthday. It seems like some people just have that naturally...they get married and have children. It seems so natural. Why is it so hard for me to achieve something others take for granted?

I spend my weekends pretty much partying and living it up. I date and mess around with so many guys because I feel like I only have a limited amount of time of being young and I feel that when I'm older and still single I will not be able to do that anymore. I've also been messing around with alot of younger guys, 24 years old and up. They seem to be the only ones interested. And they are always the player types. Since my break up, I have not had one worthwhile date with a guy I would have considered for a relationship. I dont meet ANY guys my age EVER. I think they are all married.

I never thought I would be in the exact same place I was 10 years ago. With the exception of having a college degree, I am exactly in the same situation. Single and living at home. I feel so trapped. I am so disappointed in myself.

I'm not sure what I'm doing in my life. I feel like I have so little time to achieve so much...a career and a family. My worst nightmare is being nearly 40 and single and nowhere in life careerwise.

Does anyone else my age feel like time is running out? Please tell me I'm not alone.


Thanks!

[winneythepooh7]

First off, you are not "old" at all. I found that for me personally, things didn't really start to fall into place until I was around 30 (I am in my early 30's now).

Second, if you are happy with your current position, that's definitely a positive. I think a lot of people these days make a jump into graduate school without really knowing what they want to do, then end up in a lot of debt without a job or clear career path. I think it's better to wait until you have a clearer idea of what you want to do since graduate school, regardless of major, is a lot of hard work, dedication and $$$$$. And trust me-----when I was in grad school most of my classmates were around 40 years old on up.

As for dating around, there's not a whole lot wrong with that either. However, if you are looking to "settle down" you will probably have to look into setting your standards a little higher, or looking beyond the bar to meet more quality guys. Not saying you can't meet a guy at the bar, but you may find you do better looking elsewhere.

Lastly, welcome!!! Stick around. There are lots of people on here in similar situations, who can offer a lot of good insight into getting through your days!

[sam handwich]

I feel the same way about graduate school. I have my BA in psych, well qualified for graduate school but at age 23, I cant bring myself to go. How do I know I will want to do that particular career for the rest of my life? Its too big of an investment and the statistics show that most people between 22 and 30 change jobs several times. I just feel like im too young to be able to get such a focused degree but I dont know what else to do.

Mostly, Im realizing that there is often a huge difference in studying something and then actually doing it as a career.