Optimal age to get married?

[joneshen]

According to this little article (http://channels.netscape.com/ns/love/package.jsp?name=fte/perfectmarriage/perfectmarriage) , some statistcian has worked out a mathematical formula for the optimal age to get married. What do you guys think?

[joneshen]

Hee. But does this guy's formula give you that answer? ;)

[Masterbuilder]

Actually this is kind of interesting . . . most of my relatives (uncles, aunts, cousins, etc.) who are in really stable marriages got married when the groom was around 30 and the bride a few years younger. It's been that way for several generations as well. Anyhow, I think it just speaks to the basic idea of waiting to get married until you've matured somewhat as an adult and have a (reasonably) solid idea of who you are and what you want from life.

[pisces2473]

It's also important not to wait until you're really old and set in your ways. My aunt was 33 when she got married (good age) but her husband was 40. He was an OLD 40 and when they started their family two years later, he wasn't really flexible in dealing with babies and the unexpectedness. He's a great man and a good father, but he was just too old and too set in his ways from living on his own for so many years.

[Layback]

I think that if you are willing to take love advice from a statistician, who spends his time getting off on logarithms and the measurements of a triangle, then you are already fucked in your ability for wedding bliss.

Dude, this guy probably spent more time coming up with this equation and spanking his monkey in the bathroom, than he spent time actually in conversation with the opposite sex.

[gluegun]

Ha ha. I'm with you Layback. That article was ridiculous.

[and1grad]

Maybe I'll forward that article to my mom so she'll stop harassin me. I actually had a dream about her askin me when I was gonna get married. ITS INVADING MY DREAMS NOW PEOPLE!!!!

[joneshen]

I have issues with the fact that he assumes that 16 is the youngest age that women will start to look for a partner. That's too young (for this society anyway). So, while the formula just may or may not be valid, what is presented as the optimal age to get married is not.

[shimmer728]

I think I won't be ready until I am at least 27.

[Densel]

If that's the case, I'm f**ked cause I turn 28 in Dec. :lol:

[wordsmith]

Hee. Optimal age? Here's an idea. When I'm ready. Better yet, when I'm ready, and with someone who's also ready, and then, when we both want to.

Geez.

[lostindc]

His analysis suggests that the optimal age to get married is 16 (or whenever you start looking)

If all men followed his advice then they could all expect to get married by age 32. Plugging this back into the equation yields:

(32-16) * .36 + 16 = 21.8 as the optimal age for men to get married.

Of course if all men adopted this advice then they could all expect to get married by age 21.8. Plugging this back into the equation yields

(21.8-16) * .36 + 16 = 18

Of course if all men adopted this advice then they could all expect to get married by age 18. Plugging this back into the equation yields

(18-16) * .36 + 16 = 16.7

Of course if all men adopted this advice then they could all expect to get married by age 16.7. Plugging this back into the equation yields

(16.7-16) * .36 + 16 = 16.25

The recursion eventually converges to 16 (The proof of which is left as an excerise to the reader).

[Layback]

Don't forget to multiply by the recipricle. Flip that fraction upside down baby!

[Lipgloss Boost]

I personally think mid-30s is a good time! You have some $ behind you, your career is starting to come together, you've matured a bit... Just my thoughts!

[kimmer23]

mid 30's is cool, but if you want kids you better get started right away.

[gluegun]

Yeah, it sucks being a woman because you have all the added pressure of the "biological clock". Men are lucky.

[kimmer23]

i just got married and i am 25. i dont plan to have kids until i am probably at least 30 though. i want some time to enjoy my relationship with my husband until a child comes along. not to mention that i would still like to travel more and spend money on MYSELF!

[heatherf]

I thought me and my husbands ages were perfect:

Me: 26
Husband: 28

[pisces2473]

I'd like to get married in the next few years (if it's possible) and then take my time, enjoy married life with only my husband, travel, do fun stuff with friends, then have kids starting around 30. Now if I can stick to this plan and have everything else go right, I'll be all set!

[kimmer23]

i have the same plan pisces. who wants to have kids right away anyways, yuck!

[pisces2473]

The only time you'd want to have kids right away is if you didn't get married until you were like 35 or older...then time runs short. My aunt and uncle had to do that--my mom thinks it was a mistake because they never had time to be just married. She got pregnant with her first baby 3 months after they got married! But she was 34 and he was 40. You need time to grow together as a married couple before you add a baby to the mix.

[Layback]

I'll be 29 when I get married this fall. She'll be 25. I have to say that it's nice to know where I am headed on atleast one front. Although I am not certain about my career, my fiancee is, and together we have plenty of income to not stress out over money. Heck, if I lose my job, we are still okay. Aside from a new car she just bought we have no debt. That's a beautiful thing.

So, I plan on spending the next few yars finguring out what I want to be when "I grow up", going back to grad school, and spending alot of time traveling with my wife.

[kimmer23]

yeah i think the same thing. my husband bought the house 2 1/2 yrs ago (my name is on it now though) and i never really spent the night here, so its all new for us. i think its kind of special too. i stay warmer at night now! hehe! but we are learning to cook together and all that junk. yeah i just wouldnt want to get married and have a baby 9 mos later.

[pisces2473]

Originally posted by Layback
I'll be 29 when I get married this fall. She'll be 25.
See, you can have kids until you die. Your fiancee has about 10-15 years. You can wait longer if you want to, which you might do since she's a bit younger. But it will work out.

I'm 3.5 yrs younger than my boyfriend. He doesn't want to get married until he's 30 and I'd be about 26/27 (if I'm the one he's marrying, lol). That's perfect to me because I don't want kids until I'm 30 and it would give us a few years to be married by ourselves!

Kimmer--you never stayed at your then BF's overnight??? So how is it now, that you guys never lived together before getting married? I'm always curious about people who do live together and people who don't live together...

[kimmer23]

well its not that much different living together now because my office is here and i was always over all the time, i just would go home at night. our house has 4 levels, so there is plenty of room to get away from each other when we want to! hehe!

[gluegun]

Kimmer,

So you went to work at his house every day then just went home at the end of the evening? Did you consciously decide that you weren't going to have "sleep overs" until you are married?

[kimmer23]

i just see how a lot of couples move in together after like 3 weeks and then a yr later it seems like they have been together for yrs. i didnt want things to get boring... we have been together 6 yrs and i cant believe its been that long. it only seems like 2 or 3!

[gluegun]

Wow, back up. You were together for like 5 years before you got married? And you never slept over at his house? Didn't you ever just want to be close to him? I'm a bit confused here.

(BTW, you don't have to go into this if I'm asking too personal of questions).

[pisces2473]

Not that I want to assume things about Kimmer...but I'm guessing that they slept together...but never slept OVER? I know people who hadn't had sex yet and still slept over each other's houses beforehand.

I'm confused too, Kimmer. LOL Sorry!

[kimmer23]

na not to personal....i'll just spill the beans. we had sex, no sleepovers unless it snowed!

you can have sex anywhere you know....hehehe!

[gluegun]

On another note, a lot of women mentioned wanting to have kids around age 30. I'm in the same boat (unless of course I don't have them at all). In my younger days I was able to say "well I don't want to have kids until I'm "way old", like 30" and that would take a lot of the pressure off of the situation. However, now that my age is leaning closer towards 30 than 20, I'm sort of panicking. I mean, techinically if I want to date, get engaged, have time alone with my husband, then wait the additional requisite 9 months to actually have the baby then I should have met my supposed "husband" yesterday!

[pisces2473]

No kidding, Kimmer! But didn't you want to stay all night? LOL

[gluegun]

Ya, that is my question. I sort of assumed that you had sex with him which made it all the more confusing when you said that you never slept over. You have amazing will power!

[heatherf]

See I'm super torn on the kids issue. I'm only 26, will be 27 in May, and we want kids soon! We've been together for two years - married for one year come July.

I just think that starting the family at 30 really limits the # of kids you can have. Not that I want a litter.

But my husband is an only child and his mom had him when she was 41. And she constantly says how difficult it was because she was older. And all of the other mothers were so much younger she didn't make any friends with them.

My husband and I want to enjoy our children while we are kinda young and our bodies can really handle it. I hope to have child #1 in the fall/winter of 2005 (we plan on "trying" starting dec of this year).

And two girls here who waited until 30 to start trying are having a really hard time getting pregnant. One is now 5 months along- she's 32- and it took her a year and a half to get pregnant. The other has been trying for close to 4 years with no luck. It really scares me.

[gluegun]

Oh no. Now even 30 is too old! No wonder young women have crises over this stuff.

[kimmer23]

you have plenty of time heather...you guys have only been together 2 yrs. we have been together 6 and i still dont want kids for a long time! hehe! it will probably be like 10 now because of the kid that really annoyed us on the plane 2 weeks ago!

[kimmer23]

well i did want to stay over, but it was just easier waking up at my parents house in the morning with all my stuff there to shower and get ready.

[heatherf]

yah I dunno. I just want a family. Family is the most important thing in my life period. I can't imagine anything better than having a family with my husband. And he tells me the same. I do know that it will all work out when it's supposed to though!

[kimmer23]

well you guys have only been togther 2 yrs...you guys are still kinda gushy.

only the other hand me and alan really dont even like kids that much. we cant wait to leave the neice and nephew bday parties all the time(his--i dont have brothers and sisters).

[pisces2473]

Yeah, I'm scared about waiting til I'm 30 and then *crap!* I can't get pregnant...I'm not even engaged and I'm already thinking about kids. Good lord!

Kimmer--your reasons not to stay over at your boyfriend's place cracked me up! Pack an overnight bag!!! LOLOL Guess you don't have to do that now! :)

[kimmer23]

yeah i hate lugging all of my products around! i wanted SOMETHING to be new when we got married.

[kearney32862]

I was thinking around 62....