Online Dating ?

[hereisnewyork]

Hi guys,

I'm trying to get back into online dating and just curious, is it rude or weird for a guy that I've been chatting with to just give me HIS number and ask me to call him? I guess I'm slightly old-fashioned and don't think the first person to call should be me, having to get up the courage and find a time to do it. Shouldn't the guy ask me for mine? This is how one guy just did it at the end of our second email. I think it's just a role reversal that he thinks its safe for HIM, when it's usually the girls that need to worry.

ex: "Since I'm guessing you're not a stalker (I'm correct in that assumption, yes??) I think it's safe to drop my number. I generally don't get around to checking this thing over the weekend so it's easier to call/text me at ######. Have a great weekend if I don't hear from you until after"

[and1grad]

I've done this. Mainly b/c women seem a LOT more comfortable getting a number first, rather than giving theirs. Its probably not some kind of power play and if a guy gives you his number, he more than likely isnt afraid to talk to you or call you. I'm assuming he's not like 15. Otherwise, if you like the guy and want him to call you first, text him your number. Everybody wins! Good luck. :)

[winneythepooh7]

I'm married now, and honestly, when I tried the online dating thing back in the day, that was just one of several things that would sketch me out with guys on there. I think because my experience seemed to be that I would mostly meet guys who were just looking for a fast hook-up and that was it.

[KCboy]

Yes, IMO that is an extremely old fashioned point of view.

I don’t think anyone should dictate their dating behavior simply because of their gender. “but, I’m the GIRL”

[Samwell]

I've done this. Mainly b/c women seem a LOT more comfortable getting a number first, rather than giving theirs. Its probably not some kind of power play and if a guy gives you his number, he more than likely isnt afraid to talk to you or call you. I'm assuming he's not like 15. Otherwise, if you like the guy and want him to call you first, text him your number. Everybody wins! Good luck. :)

I've done this too (in real life, though, not online), for exactly the same reason. Usually with a smile and a self deprecating comment like "that way if you're just being polite you don't have to dodge me when I do call"...


Online seems a little different in that you're both obviously there to meet someone to date. In that case I would probably ask for her number.

Still, I wouldn't read much into it.

[dengeist]

The thing with online dating from a guys perspective is there are lots of women that kind of toy around with it, but don't take it seriously. It's kind of like a safety thing. You have all of these admirers but you really don't have to pursue anything with them. Truth be told a lot of women flake out before anything even happens.

In fact, I met my gf on a failed date. The chick never showed up to the meeting place. So I was kind of stuck there by myself.

So yeah, as a guy I think giving out your number is a better rule of thumb than getting a number from a woman when she's really not interested. Which happens a lot in the online world.

[wordsmith]

I seldom gave my number when I was single, whether it was online dating, or traditional dating. When guys would ask me for my number when out and about, I told them I don't give my number out, but that I'd take theirs. I've just never been big on giving my number out. I like being the one to decide if I wanna make the call, not the one getting the call.

[hereisnewyork]

hmm very interesting, i guess i was being too old fashioned, i'll definitely look at it differently now!






p.s. I had lunch with the guy and it was lame, oh well

[ugarachel82]

hmm very interesting, i guess i was being too old fashioned, i'll definitely look at it differently now!






p.s. I had lunch with the guy and it was lame, oh well

New York ~

I find this a lot in the guys I meet on dating sites. We chat back and forth online, move to email/text/phone chat and then agree to meet up for lunch and it's just lame or doesn't go anywhere from there. It's super frustrating, and I don't know what I'm doing wrong....guess I will never know. Just know that you are not alone.

[ugarachel82]

Reasons I've thought of why the guy doesn't call:

1. He's Just Not That Into You
2. He's afraid of rejection
3. He's lazy

[hereisnewyork]

Reasons I've thought of why the guy doesn't call:

1. He's Just Not That Into You
2. He's afraid of rejection
3. He's lazy


Indeed and especially for the guys in NYC:

4. Huge Ego, must be something better round the corner...

[robinhood2003]

While I agree that for women, it may be hard b/c alot of guys have this mentality that there's always something better around the corner, but what about the girls that just drop off the face of the earth (trying to give you the guys point of view)? I was dating this girl for a bit (2 months)....she went home upstate and then came back to NYC and stopped talking.....not giving me any clues as to what happened....and then she calls me "impatient"........now that's frustrating......hence why I am taking a break from dating....