Birthdays in your QLC

[hereisnewyork]

My birthday is coming up in a little less than 2 weeks, I'll be 27 ::sigh::

Usually I always try and plan something and try to invite everyone I know, and for the first time last year was great, nothing went wrong...but a year later things couldn't be more different. I'd maybe get a few random friends to come to something, but with my mood right now and the reality that I lost a huge part of my social life recently (and a bf), I don't know if its just best to not make a big deal of it and have dinner with my dad and his wife (not saying at all he is 2nd choice!!) but obviously we try and share birthdays with our friends too. Also, it's the day after Halloween and that always creates for issues unless I have the energy (mental) to combine them which I don't this year. I honestly am so blah I don't even know what would make me happy.

Any thoughts on this subject?

[Bocheezu]

My birthday is November 2nd, so one day after yours. Birthdays were never a big deal for my family growing up. I had cake and stuff, but never a big party or anything. That's pretty much transferred over to my adult life. I keep it on the down low in hopes that nobody remembers, because I really don't like being the center of attention for anything.

Basically, my mom comes over to hand out candy (cause I'm not big on doing that myself), spends the night, then takes me out to dinner the next day. That's about it.

[ScottyTheBody]

When I was little I had big birthday parties where we would go bowling, to McDonald's, magic shows, tons of cool stuff with a bunch of friends from school and extra curricular activities. When I turned 13 and 14 I just had a smaller get together with closer friends and we'd play video games and maybe catch a cool show and joke around.

When I turned 15 I kind of stopped celebrating it with my friends because people started getting preoccupied with other things. My immediate family still gave me gifts but there was no birthday party to speak of.

This was the same until I turned 20 when a bunch of college friends and even acquaintances got together to celebrate my birthday. It was kind of last minute and sudden and even during exam time (which is extremely busy for almost everyone).

When I turned 21 and 22 it was quiet and uneventful and everyone was busy studying for exams.

When I was about to turn 23 everyone was talking/asking about my birthday, what everyone was going to be doing for it and suggesting all these cool activities (paintball, snow tubing, skiing, karaoke, etc.) even up to the night before and I said I was psyched for anything. Then it came to the birthday and my roommate told me that I should just "go for a short walk" in the morning with one of those "looks" (thinking that it was going to be a surprise party or something). For the first time in a while I was excited to see what was going to happen. Turns out it was just so my roommate could make lots of noise with his girlfriend during intercourse. Most people forgot and one person remembered but then was suddenly busy that day. Yeah I was quite disappointed.

When I turned 24th it was much like my 21st and 22nd birthdays. Completely uneventful.

I expect my 25th birthday to be like my 24th.

[ebrillblaiddes]

I always just had the "family party" with a cake at home up to and including grad school, during which I turned 23, and with the exception of when I was turning 10, for which I had friends to Chuck E. Cheese. For some reason I never got to the knowing-and-being-invited-to-each-other's-birthdays level of friendship in college.

When I was turning 24 and 25, no one within driving distance cared, although I did get my cell phone stolen for my 4th birthday.

BF may do something this coming year, if he happens to remember in time (he's admitted that he's terrible at keeping track of that kind of thing). If not, oh well, I'm not used to it so I can't miss it.

[somethin_random]

Yeh, I'm not really looking forward to my b'day this year. I'm overseas, away from family and friends so not really sure what I'll be doing. But I find that I always get a bit depressed when my b'day comes around -whether I'm in a big crowd or not. And I'm turning 25 and that sounds real old :( (no offense to those 25 yrs and older).

[Schecter_Guy]

I turn the big 27 on Nov 3rd. Every year I have a get together with my family the weekend after my b-day, but I think the day of my actual b-day I am going to sit on my couch and drink a beer or two.

[DaneCA]

I can relate to getting a little depressed about a birthday, HereisNewYork. And that's not due to the age factor. If you have something to do, there's a lot of pressure to make it perfect and, inevitably, it never turns out exactly the way you wanted it to. If you don't have something to do, you just end up feeling lonely.

I've had pretty good birthdays. I usually do one celebration with my family and a separate one with my friends. This past year, the weekend before my birthday, I went out to my favorite local bar with friends and my then-boyfriend and his friends, and then my family and my boyfriend took me out to dinner on my actual birthday. Both were small groups but the important people were there and that's what matters.

For me, the key is not putting a bunch of pressure on myself to have the perfect birthday. If I don't expect much, I don't end up disappointed. I also try not to take it personally if people aren't able to take part in the celebration. If I were you, I wouldn't spend my birthday alone. Maybe you could go to dinner at your favorite restaurant with your dad and his wife and bring a couple of friends along?

[Tayl405]

I don't do much for my birthday for the reasons Dane mentioned. I like to take that day to do something I wouldn't normally do. Last year my bf and I went to the science museum and saw a film at the IMAX, then went out to dinner at one of my favorite restaurants and met up with a couple friends at a jazz bar. It was low-key, but fun and something I would normally never suggest for a Saturday afternoon.

This past year he and I went for a bike ride and ate lunch outside, then we were exhausted so we just grilled out, had wine, and a friend came over to hang. The next day (my actual bday) I went to brunch with a girlfriend. So nothing crazy, but I spent it with people I care about and had a great, great time.

If you go out to dinner with your dad and his wife, pick somewhere you love to eat and wouldn't normally go... that makes it feel more special I think.

[KCboy]

birthdays haven't been a big deal for me since I turned 13 or so. The only one I really looked forward to was my 21st.

As for throwing parties, which is what sounds like the issue in this thread rather than just birthdays, I agree that it changes a lot as you get older and move further away from college. They seem to be more intimate events with just a small group or a few couples getting together.

The main thing I look forward to in marriage (the wedding anyway) is the reception. That seems like a once in a lifetime party, bringing back every major friend in your life that may have moved away or drifted apart from you.

[ebrillblaiddes]

And I'm turning 25 and that sounds real old :( (no offense to those 25 yrs and older). I know what you mean...25 was my "I'll have my life together and be a bit stable by then" age, until I got close enough to 25 that I realized it wasn't going to go that way.

[moonstar0711]

I'm in the same situation...birthday is exactly a week after halloween. Last year, I tried inviting friends to a bar, and most of the showed up, but it was awkward because they were friends from a couple of different groups of people I know, and they didn't all know each other. This year, I'm not sure what I'll do, probably not much. Maybe a dinner with some close friends, and my immediate family always gets together for a dinner. I don't get a cake anymore, either, which is ok.
I made a bigger deal last year out of my birthday, because the year before, barely any of my friends acknowledged it. But I have learned that I don't enjoy being the center of attention even on my birthday, and that I'd rather not put so much pressure on myself to go out and do something with a whole bunch of people.
So this year will be low-key if anything at all. Almost everyone I know is dating someone, and I'm not, which makes it a little lonlier. Oh, and as a nod to turning 27 this year, my car was totaled in a car accident this past weekend...Happy Birthday to me!

[wordsmith]

Birthday celebrations have always been something I couldn't ever really get my hopes up for, because in the region of the country I live in, it's the time of year that there is often really cold, really bad weather. I've had more birthday blizzards than not, starting from when I was born (snowed INTO the hospital for a week). I rarely got to have parties as a kid, because the roads were often impassable for all but my family, who lived in the same neighborhood and didn't have to drive far or at all. The few slumber parties and the like that I did have were usually marred by very bad weather. Oddly, I've also had a lot of family tragedies that have coincided with my birthday. When I was 10, a great aunt passed away, when I was 11, a cousin had a house fire and her two small children perished. When I was 26, my dad was in a near-fatal auto accident on my birthday.

For much of my childhood, too, it happened to coincide with the Superbowl if I was having something on a weekend, and so people would always beg off because there were Superbowl parties. As I got older, it got no better...it's just that time of year when nobody wants to go out for a night on the town, at least not where I live. So I've generally always had very low-key, tucked in for the night-type birthdays. I came to enjoy celebrating them with family and SOs much more than celebrating them with big groups of friends. This past year (32) was a notable departure...a bunch of work people met up with me after work (it was a Friday) at an Irish pub and closed the place down. And, there was a snowstorm. :p

[hereisnewyork]

Thank you guys for all of your great responses. It is reassuring to know it's OK not to have a momentous birthday.

I assume I'll find someone elses random halloween party to go to the night before, and I think dinner with my dad and his wife will be just fine, not sure if I could bring a friend or two though (although that was a great suggestion) because I don't really have a best friend so it'd be hard/weird to pick I think.

Can anyone think of an awesome place in manhattan to go? I don't go to fancy or interesting restaurants all that often.

[Tayl405]

I am dying to eat at the Ninja Restaurant!!