Advice on ending it with a girl after 4 dates

[Jman06]

So I went out 4 times with this girl and I now know for sure that she is not for me but I can tell, especially on this last date that she is falling for me and really likes me. I think she has no idea that I want to end it and I will shock and hurt her so I don't know how to end it.

We havent slept together. She has stopped my advances on the 3rd and 4th date so I won't feel like I used her or anything. I am attracted to her and enjoy being with her and will miss talking with her but I know it can't go any farther for me.

So what should I say. We went out Sat and I was thinking of waiting until monday or tuesday to call her and break it to her. I dread it. Can I get some help on how to handle this. I'm thinking of telling her how much I like hanging out with her and my attraction to her but that there is just something else missing for me.

[AznHisoka]

There's really no way to break it to her without hurting her feelings. Wanna be honest? Say you dun think she's wife material, heh.

A more casual way be continuing to "go out" with her, but treat her more and more like a friend, and then go date someone else you're more serious about.

[wordsmith]

Why were you even making advances, if something was missing?

[koolkat1980]

Just be honest and say something like: "I like you as a friend, but I'm not ready to pursue anything serious right now!" A girl will admire your boldness. You can also say: "I like you as a friend, but I'd really like to keep seeing and meeting other people."

Honestly...you may even be surprised and find out that...."She ain't really into you either!" Hahah. I find that there are so many guys who misinterpret women thinking they are really into them...when we're not! LOL

Women like BOLD men....life's too short to be a wuss - especially if you're a man! ;): Hope this helped.

[gemma-dahl]

I'm thinking of telling her how much I like hanging out with her and my attraction to her but that there is just something else missing for me.

Don't overexplain, especially when it's that personal - and don't make it about her. Something simple such as, "I'm too busy to devote time to dating at this point in my life, and you deserve someone who can get your full attention" should suffice. I've tried the honest let-down before, and despite how adamant people are about requiring honesty, when they're being rejected, they'd really rather think it's you, not them.

[basspro676]

It's 4 dates, not four years, it should be easy. "I just don't feel a connection, you're a beautiful girl but our personalities don't match, have a nice life" -click-

[ugarachel82]

I like this.

[sarahg]

A more casual way be continuing to "go out" with her, but treat her more and more like a friend, and then go date someone else you're more serious about.

Please, please don't do this. If she really likes you, she'll probably torture herself about whether your feelings have changed, whether you're just getting more relaxed with her because you like her, or what else could possibly be the reason for the difference. And then when you go on the date she'll feel betrayed.

Just say you think she's a cool person but don't think she's right for you. It hurts, but it's much kinder in the long run to be too straightforward to leave room for interpretation.

[Minipan]

Why were you even making advances, if something was missing?

you obviously don't know guys very well.

[wordsmith]

:rolleyes: Yeah, clearly not.

I'm assuming that the "She brushed my advances off the last two times I went out with her" is the reason for the "I'm attracted to her, but something is missing." But, really, I'm wondering if she's really as into him as he thinks, if she blew off his advances already. Could be that she won't be all that devastated if he walks away after a whopping four dates.

[KCboy]

try to sleep with her one more time.

[DuckFan]

" I am not feeling a connection."

That doesn't talk about personality, looks, weird idiocyncracies, etc. It's to the point, but it doesn't ask you to really go into detail.

You make this as easy or as hard as you want.

There are worse things in the world, and she will be glad, in the end, that you ended it and didn't lead her on.

[ebrillblaiddes]

What's wrong with "you're a great person and it's been fun, but it's just not a match"? There's no way to say it that she'll be happy about anyway.

[J-girl]

You can just be honest with her. That way she will get closure and she wont hate you. Please dont stop calling her randomly. It is always best to be honest, just shows that you respect her as a person and she can move on.

[Sanman111]

Just grab her ass at the end of the date and say " Hey baby, let's go back to my place and 68...you do me and I'll owe you one!" That way she'll just slap you in the face and you probably won't have to do any explaining at all.