to settle or not to settle

[greene54]

It's so cool to finally find a place where people are talking, and giving this thing a name. "The quarter life crisis."
My dilemma is this. I graduated college, moved to a big city and had a fairly good time with my best friend. I jumped around between dead end jobs, grew up a lot, and also grew tired and disgusted with the city life. I moved back here to this little town where I grew up. I found a job as a land surveyor. The pay is low, but I get to be in the fresh air all day, the stress is minimal, and I'm learning a good trade. For more than a year now, I have felt content and happy - learning to appreciate the simple life, learning to be responsible. Meanwhile, my best friend who had moved to chicago (after I came home), continues to live life out there on the edge. "To each his own", I thought. Well, I went out for a visit a couple months ago, and I saw what a colorful, busy life he was living. Since coming back home, this feeling has been growing inside me. A feeling like I'm not doing enough with my life... a feeling that my job doesn't have enough meaning. I suddenly feel starved for culture, lonely to meet new and interesting people. I've been throwing my whole life into question. Sometimes it feels very intense and confusing. Funny thing is, I had all this culture and opportunity before when I first moved away. Is it just that the grass is always greener? Should I learn to grow past all this "boyish" daydreaming, or should I consider changing again? Any advice would help, but I suppose the only one who could have the real answer is myself.

[CAT11]

Hmm...well I am laughing because I find myself in a similar situation.
I just moved back to hickville after six months in Santa Barbara. I just hated it. No one can believe that I didn't like it.
Now, I can't find a job. Figures.
Anyway, it is still the same place that I left. I just see it a little bit differently. Whatever good that is for.
So what I would say is....this is another case of the grass and the green stuff.
Not that any of that was remotely profound.

[MissKitty]

I also think that you are going through a case of "the grass is always greener...".
You say that you are cotent with your job and that you are learning a good trade what more could you want? Would be willing to setting for a not-so-promising job in the city if it meant having that colorful life? How much are you willing to trade? I'm sure that you have family in your area too, personally I think that you would have more reasons to stay than to leave for a colorful life in the big city.
Could you find a compromise? You say that you are looking for culture...does your town have a local theatre or any art galleries? What about local universities?
I live in a city and am finding myself longing for the quite and personal space that a more rural environment would offer.
Yup, I guess the grass IS always greener...

~MissKitty

[LP77]

I totally hear you about the grass is always greener thing...I am so sick of second guessing myself! I've lived in Boston for 7 years (for school and a few years after) and now I am faced with taking a job, TOTALLY not in my field, way north of the city in a little town. THe town is really sweet, and the new job, teaching, could be an experience and a half, but then I am so attached to the city. Although I grew up in a similar town to the small town, I have a hard time imagining what the heck I am going to do with myself! How do you even meet people in a little town? At least if I am bored in the city, or lonely, I can go for a walk and see some cool stuff, and see people around...but what does a 25 year old do in a little town where everyone seems to be in their 30s or older with kids? This is why I am freaking out about making this decision...I'll have to sign the contract next week, and after 7 years of working towards this engineering goal...am I just going to go teach cause it is what's out there for me? I flip flop every day, in the morning I usually think it's a bad idea, by mid day I am excited about teaching, and at night I am depressed again about it....but then again, I've had no job for four months and it will be nice to be at least doing something, especially since $$ will run out very soon...

[Unregistered]

Why do you have to live in the small town. Why can't you move mid-way btw boston and that town. So you would be close to your job and could go to the city whenever you wanted. That way you could have the job and city life..........