Why are the older women in my office so mean to me?

[Unregistered]

Generally, everyone in my office is over double my age, which is fine. I've already accepted that we have little in common and aren't going to be great friends. When I first started, I made a big effort to be nice to everyone. However, some of the women are really condescending towards me, commenting on my weight, dress (which is always appropriate by even conservative standards) and the reaction of the old men in my office. They ostracize me to the extent that I'm getting really self-conscious. I am suppossed to be supervising some of these women, but they often refuse to implement my directions. I feel like their attitude is out of spite. It's really driving me nuts. I don't want these women to befriend me, but feel that I deserve a lot more respect from them. What can I do short of coming to work in a paper bag?

[malaynab]

Sounds to me like they are threatened by your presence.

You mentioned that you supervise some of these women who do not follow your directions. In this instance, you've got to stand up and make them take notice that they are to follow your directions. If you don't stand up for yourself in this area, you'll never get any respect.

Women are catty and jealous. There's nothing you can do about that. Depending on the nature and tone of the comments regarding your work attire, I'd let them know that their comments are not appreciated and may be inappropriate comments to direct towards a supervisor. If after all that, you continue to get catty remarks and they still do not follow your directions, I would talk to my supervisor and see if there are disciplinary actions that can be taken. Don't let them push you around! Just because they're old and callous, doesn't give them the right to make you feel bad.

Good luck to you!

Malayna


Edited to add: Don't change your dress for them! They just have to learn to deal with it!