If truth in advertising were applied to state mottos

[paperjam1015]

If truth in advertising were applied to state mottos

* Alabama: Yes, We Have Electricity
* Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong!
* Arizona: But It's a Dry Heat
* Arkansas: Litterasy Ain't Everthing
* California: As Seen on TV
* Colorado: If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother
* Connecticut: Like Massachusetts, Only Dirtier and With Less Character
* Delaware: We Really Do Like the Chemicals in our Water
* Florida: Ask Us About Our Grandkids
* Georgia: We Put the "Fun" in Fundamentalist Extremism
* Hawaii: Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru (Death to Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money)
* Idaho: Potatoes and Neo-Nazi's . . . What More Could You Ask For?
* Illinois: Please Don't Pronounce the "S"
* Indiana: 2 Billion Years Tidal-Wave Free
* Iowa: We Do Amazing Things With Corn
* Kansas: Where Science Don't Mean S#*@
* Kentucky: Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names
* Louisiana: We're Not All Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign
* Maine: We're Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster
* Maryland: A Thinking Man's Delaware
* Massachusetts: Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's (For Most Tax Brackets)
* Michigan: First Line of Defense From the Canadians
* Minnesota: 10,000 Lakes and 10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 Mosquitoes
* Mississippi: Come Feel Better About Your Own State
* Missouri: Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars at Work
* Montana: Land of the Big Sky, the Unabomber, Right-Wing Crazies, and VeryLittle
Else
* Nebraska: Ask About Our State Motto Contest
* Nevada: Whores and Poker!
* New Hampshire: Go Away and Leave Us Alone
* New Jersey:
You Want a ##$%## Motto? I Got Yer ##$%## Motto Right Here!
* New Mexico: Lizards Make Excellent Pets
* New York: You Have the Right to Remain Silent, You Have the Right to an Attorney . . .
* North Carolina: Tobacco is a Vegetable
* North Dakota: We Really Are One of the 50 States!
* Ohio: At Least We're Not Michigan
* Oklahoma: Like the Play, Only No Singing
* Oregon: Spotted Owl . . . It's What's For Dinner
* Pennsylvania: Cook With Coal
* Rhode Island: We're Not REALLY An Island
* South Carolina: Remember the Civil War? We Didn't Actually Surrender!
* South Dakota: Closer Than North Dakota
* Tennessee: The Educashun State
* Texas: Si' Hablo Ing'les(Yes, I speak English)
* Utah: Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus
* Vermont: Yep
* Virginia: Who Says Government Stiffs and Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?
* Washington: Help! We're Overrun By Nerds and Slackers!
* Washington, D.C.: Wanna Be Mayor?
* West Virginia: One Big Happy Family-Really!
* Wisconsin: Come Cut Our Cheese
* Wyoming: Where Men Are Men And Sheep Are Nervous

[fulvsmiles]

That is really funny :-) I'm glad you posted, definitely made me smile!

[midtwenty]

I'm just glad our state motto changed for real.

"Oklahoma is OK!"
Yeah, real nice. We're not great, we're not pretty good, we're just OK! Who's the dumbass that came up with THAT slogan?!

[Crimson King II]

Midtwenty...come on....we couldn't say, "Oklahoma, the most god-forsaken place on earth, given our penchant for disaster both natural and man-made," now could we?



I'll tell you which one sucks, I think. Missouri. What the hell are they always showing each other there anyway?

[happyandsad27]

OK, I am from Nebraska and I absolutely don't get the one about Nebraska. Anybody know what the hell the slogan is all about? I know once it is explained to me I will get it.

Nebraska -- Ask about our state motto contest.

[Crimson King II]

It means there's nothing of note to turn into a slogan in Nebraska. Though, were I Nebraska, I would simply remind people how our football team generally kicks much ass (except when playing Oklahoma, of course!).

[megrocks]

I think when I lived in Nebraska it was something like "Nebraska- The Good Life." Or at least that was what was on the license plates.

I think the real one for Texas is pretty stupid - the Lone Star State. What in the hell does that mean?

[pisces2473]

Uh oh! Time to roll out the history lessons!!!

In short, since I have work to do:
Texas was a republic (meaning own gov't, etc) before it was a state. It was not called Texas, it was the Lone Star Republic...it only had one star on its flag, etc etc...

Now that I think about it, this sounds like a real shitty story.

Anyone?

[megrocks]

I think the motto needs to be change so this State will stop acting like it's its own damn country.

[Crimson King II]

I once prosecuted a traffic ticket in my third year of law school against a guy who's defense was sovereign immunity as a member of the Republic of Texas. He asserted I had no authority because he did not recognize Texas' admission into the union. One of the bailiffs of the court tried to move a chair and he said, "Don't move that chair, my counsel is in it." The judge said, "Your counsel? Are you represented?" "Yes," he said. The judge asked who his attorney was. "The Honorable Jesus Christ, your honor."


No lie. It was strange. But he DID remember the Alamo.

[happyandsad27]

Well the reasons everyone gave for Nebraska are what the consensus is around here.

Hey Crimson, Nebraska's football team stinks nowadays. Even though I am not from Oklahoma I have rooted for the Sooners ever since Game of the Century II. Remember when Keith Jackson rumbled for that touchdown? During the lean years, I always hoped that some of the Sooner magic would return whenever they played Nebraska. I am voting for Barry Switzer and J.C. Watts for President in 2008.

"I'm a Sooner born and a Sooner bred and when I die I'll be Sooner dead...Boomer Sooner, Boomer Sooner..."

[Crimson King II]

Ah yes happy....Keith Jackson...fastest TE ever in College Football...ran the best reverse in the game! Great memories.

[pisces2473]

So CK, did I explain Texas' history right??? I was so worried that I "fudged" it up :neutral:

[Crimson King II]

Not really...but close enough to explain the answer.

[kitalyn414]

Originally posted by midtwenty
I'm just glad our state motto changed for real.

"Oklahoma is OK!"
Yeah, real nice. We're not great, we're not pretty good, we're just OK! Who's the dumbass that came up with THAT slogan?! lol. there's a comedian (anthony clark) who does a bit about oklahoma's state motto where he gives the ones that were rejected over "oklahoma is ok." they were:

"oklahoma, oklahoma. there i said it twice." and "oklahoma: some people think we don't suck."

[happyandsad27]

Oklahoma: "You really can get drunk on 3.2 beer."

[pisces2473]

Originally posted by Crimson King II
Not really...but close enough to explain the answer.
Okay...that's fine...but the reason I said it was turning into a shitty story was because I wasn't sure if I was getting it right! :eek:

[wordsmith]

No lie. It was strange. But he DID remember the Alamo.

But the real question is, could he tell you if it has a basement?

[heatherf]

I don't know Jen- if you got Texas right.....

All I know is that I'm not messin with with!

[Crimson King II]

Rhode Island: What the F---?

[paperjam1015]

Rhode Island: Yes it really is a state.

[midtwenty]

Midtwenty...come on....we couldn't say, "Oklahoma, the most god-forsaken place on earth, given our penchant for disaster both natural and man-made," now could we?

Only because it wouldn't fit on the license plate. ;)

I used to get a kick out of our state anti-littering campaign: "Don't Lay That Trash on Oklahoma!"
Uhh, huh??
Cheesiest jingle in advertising history.

My friends from out of state would always say: "Don't lay that trash IN Oklahoma!"

[wordsmith]

Illinois: Not the End of the World, but you can See it From There

(I know I told you that was Iowa, WB, but I lied...a gangsta's gotta do that, ya know)

[pisces2473]

Only NY'ers say "Joisey." NJ'ers don't.

[and1grad]

CA: The only state where getting plastic surgery can be considered "keeping it real"

[wordsmith]

Originally posted by WeirdBrake
WS, you're just jealous because Illinois doesn't contain the world's biggest ball of twine.

This, from someone who doesn't even know what twine IS? You probably don't know where Iowa is, either. East Coast snob. :razz:

[wordsmith]

Awww, am I gonna have to send you a ball of twine in the mail to make amends?

[cheshrcarol]

Will you display the twine on the yacht or in your mansion? ;)

[wordsmith]

Oh, did I forget to mention? "Ball of twine" is actually a charming li'l colloquialism we midwesterners have. It's means "flaming sack of poo," which we rubes like to leave on y'all's doorsteps. Now, did you say the mansion or the yacht?

And where the hell do you keep a yacht in Pittsburgh?
*scratches head and picks teeth with a sprig of wheat*

[flyogagrl]

(I can say this because I'm from PA):
"Pennsylvania- At least we're not Jersey or Delaware"

(I can say this because I went to school in NC):
"North Carolina- Our three teeth are better than South Carolina's one tooth"

(I can say this because I live in FL):
"Florida- We'll give you a drivers license regardless if you can speak or read english or if you are 90 years old"