whew!

[Wandering]

I can't begin to express how relieved I feel now that I know that I am not the only one who feels so lost and confused. I've tried to explain it to so many people including a counselor and no one seems to get it. I have an incredible boyfriend who is as understanding as he can be, but he knows who he is and what he wants and is going for it balls to the wall. I'm still lost, no other word seems right.

College was such a wonderful experience for me. I had great instructors, great facilities and a whole herd of other struggling creatives like myself to talk to. Now it's all over, it's all gone. We have all moved on to careers and families. Except me, or at least I feel like it. My degree in Photography was put to use for a few years, but then the digital world killed the traditional photography world (at least commercially). I was laid off and forced to look for other options. I took a job with a small company as an Internet Researcher. I learned a lot and ended up being their systems admin, web admin and db admin. I was so proud of how much I had learned in so little time, but management didn't see fit to pay me what I am worth or treat me as a human being so I quit. It was the first time in my life I had quit a job without having a new one. Once again I was proud of myself, but scared to death at the same time. I had another job in a new city within a month. I have been working as a Training Coordinator for a few months now, but I'm bored, unfulfilled and quickly spiralling into a depression.

I know that I don't want to do what I am doing now, but I don't know what I REALLY want to do. How does one figure that out? It sounds like such a stupid question and I feel like I should already know the answer. I feel like such a loser. Can anybody tell me how they discovered who they were and what they wanted? I know I have to figure it out for myself, but maybe a little inspiration will get things started.

[LMY]

I went into a creative field too and am not doing exactly what I learned, but close (animation to illustration).
I often wonder how people know so early what they want to do with their life. All the stories of "I wanted to be a doctor since I was 3 and now I'm a brain surgeon" or "I had an epipheny and now I know my purpose in life is to serve ice cream" or something like that. I've been waiting for thatlight bulb moment for years and haven't got it yet. That's why I'm alway curious as to what successful people went to school for or wanted to be when they were little. I'd like to know how many career changes they had before finding the one they like the best.
Here's some advice that I hate to hear myself but I'll tell you: use photography as a hobby. Learn to enjoy it again. Maybe photograph parties and weddings and such. You never know who might see your work. I had a friend in school who was making photocopies of his drawings at Business Depot when someone saw his stuff and gave him a job. I draw for a living so it's hard to use it as a stress relieving hobby, but maybe you can!

[Wandering]

Thank you for the suggestion! You aren't the first one to make it, but I am consideting dusting off the cameras. It's so hard to be a creative in an environment like this. It's also frustrating not to have an outlet. Yeah I do some design work here and there, but nothing worthy of the title "art." I guess I should just take pictures for me for a while and forget the whole commercial world. Thanks again and good luck!

[Mermaid]

You know, I thought I had it all figured out from the moment I was born, but I was sorely mistaken. I'm not sure how you really understand what it is you're meant "to do" in this life; as the authors mentioned in the book, should our jobs even define us as people, or should that come from who we are outside of our careers? I made mine the sole focus of my life for a long time because it had been something I'd dreamt of since childhood. The thing is, I don't really know anymore if it's possible to find complete spiritual/soul fulfillment in one's career. Maybe that's our mistake -- trying to find happiness in what is also our way of subsisting. Don't you think that we might be going about this wrong? That there's a chance that we should do whatever we have to job-wise to achieve financial security, and nurture our souls in every other way? I don't know -- I wish it was that easy to conform.

Did that even make any sense? /phpBB/images/smiles/icon_razz.gif

_________________
-Mermaid-

"Your soul is oftentimes a battlefield, upon which your reason and your judgment wage war against your passion and your appetite." (Kahlil Gibran)

"She knows she's been here too few years to feel this old." (Rob Thomas)

[Wandering]

I just finished the book a couple of days ago and have been pondering the same point. Then I also remembered that a similar comment was made in Fight Club. I think we are placing too much or our identities in our job titles. I also fully admit that I have bought into that idea; until now. I just started another book last night that I think others might find interesting. Your Money Or Your Life. I never would have imagined that I would be reading a book about personal finance, but this one isn't your typical money book. Anyhoo, thanks for the feedback. Just knowing that there are other people out there going through the same stuff is comforting in and of itself.

:P

[wolverine]

Who says you should know your "life calling" when you turn 20? 50? 5? I think a life calling is something that many people may never feel they achieve in their lives, but it's all a matter of perspective. Does a five-year-old know what a cardiologist does on a day-to-day basis? How can such a young child know the job skills & responsibilities for a profession such as that? I personally knew what I wanted to do in middle school (be an engineer), but I didn't know much about it. I was fortunate that I stuck it out and found out I *did* like it. But I also know that I am in the minority. Don't panic if you haven't found the perfect job yet. It will happen eventually, *if* you make it happen.

Do you want to learn something in a job? Have fun in a job? Meet new people? Learn about another culture? The intangibles like that are what makes the job memorable to me, the work you do is almost secondary. A resume of impressive job titles and companies is worthless if you didn't enjoy the jobs.

"It's the journey, not the destination."

There is no such thing as bad jobs. It's what you make of the situation you are in. If you give it your best and you're still miserable, then maybe it's not the best job for *you.* That doesn't mean you can't find something else out there on the horizon.

[supreme]

wolverine...
Well done!!! I totally agree!! I think we look at the generation before us and assume that they had everything figured out by the time they were in their midtwentys. I think people are spending more time in school (ie college), putting off getting married and having kids until later in life so it is taken our generation longer to define who we are.

It's a pressure we put on oursleves to having everthing right right now! And not allowing ourselves time to make mistakes and learn from them.