Yikes...Should I run?

[Densel]

I met this guy in an airport 2 weeks ago. We hardly know each other but he seem to have fallen in love with me. I should be flattered, but I'm a little (what's word am I looking for?) - not scared, not suspicious...FREAKED! Don't get me wrong, we've spoken a few times (phone) and he sounds nice, but...DAMN!

See his email below:

"Sorry for sending this e-mail to you so late. My grandfather just
got off the phone this time. I went to visit a friend of my grandmother's at the hospital.

Anyway, I just want to let you know that I really enjoyed talking
to you last night. I haven't had a good conversation with a girl in a long time. You are really nice and I'm hoping to get to know you a little better. I'm also hoping that this friendship that we start can turn into something special. Time will come and let us know. You're so sweet. I love talking to you. Anyway if u still want to go out Saturday I guess we can. Oh yeah, I'll be in Baltimore this week and if you want to call me then you can reach me
at 410-XXX-XXXX. This week I need you to call me after 11pm. I'm
getting home a little late from work this week.

Take care and I'll talk to you later. Send me an e-mail this week."

He also told me that before he met me, he never believed in love at first sight but now he's not so sure. He is saying everything I want to hear but it just seems too soon that I'm so confused!

[Unregistered]

which airport and how'd you meet??

[crazy-girl]

I hate to be a cynic but if it sounds too good to be true---it probably is.

I'm a little worried about a few things. One: he's too eager. This could be quite innocent and maybe he hasn't had a date in a long time and is out of practice but the overly eager thing is strange. Two: The restrictions. You have to call him after certain hours and he'll be here at this time and blah blah blah. Is he married? Attached? What's the story?

I have found it's best to be cautious and to always trust your gut. E-mail him for a while and if you meet up with him---do it in a public area. If you haven't given out your phone number or address----don't. Give him your cell phone if nothing else. If he seems creepy---cut it off.

[Undercover]

First of all don't be confused. Understand this poor guy probably hasn't hung out with a girl in a while and you're probably the first girl that has come along in some time that he really digs, or finds attractive. Guys can get in over their heads in the beginning when they first meet a chick they really like right off the bat. Hell, girls can too! I know it's not cool to come on sooooo stong... I've been in both situations. I understand your concerns of being freaked... I would be too. Personally, I like a challenge and have to really get to know a girl first before any of those words he said come out of my mouth, or written in his case. Anyway, this guy sounds a bit desperate and is obviously coming on too strong. He may be oblivious. What you do all depends on whether or not you could see yourself hanging out with this guy. Do you find him attractive? If yes, then give it a chance. Get to know him... lay low, become buddies... no sense rushing into things, right? Ya never no though... he may be a cool dude.

[Densel]

Well, I think I would give it a chance. I'll approach with caution. Meet him in a public area, don't give him my home address, etc. I really think his harmless...just excited. We can talk on the phone for hours about nothing-everything.

More email...


"Thanks for responding to my e-mail. How have you been? Don't be working too hard this week.
I'm looking forward to seeing you on Saturday. Just like you, I don't know what our friendship may come out to be, but I'll tell you that I hope that nothing but the best comes out of it because I enjoy talking to you.
My mind goes blank because there are times I think of you. You just don't know how much I tell people that I met you on May 17. It made me happy and I enjoyed talking to you the week after. I never met someone as sweet as you and I'm hoping that I can know you much better
Take care and don't work too hard. If there is anything that I can do for you please let me know. If for whatever reason Saturday is a bad day, please call me and let me know.
I'll talk to you later.....bye"
I'm not attracted to him physically but I've never met anyone that would tell me all this in a short amount of time. It's making me curious that I want to see how things turn out. Do I see myself with him (seriously)? No, but who knows. I really enjoy talking to him - A LOT. I look forward to his calls. I feel strange. It can't be LOVE. Maybe I'm just flattered...I don't want to paly with his feelings. Oh well...just a day at a time. I guess!

[Densel]

- I met him at BWI Airport in Baltimore

- No he isn't married

- He gets of work late, that's why he told me to call after 11pm

- I'm not physically attracted to him but I typically go for brains than beauty in the long run

- I think his eagerness comes from the fact that he couldn't believe I would actually give him a chance and even talk to him at all.

- His probably more worred that I'm too good to be true than I am about him being too good to be true.

[crazy-girl]

That's cool. It all makes more sense. Without knowing the work schedule thing I just wondered about the 11 pm thing. I had a friend who met a guy and was only allowed to call him at work and then looked up his phone number and called him to home. His wife answered and his baby was screaming in the background. So those things happen.

The most important thing (in any relationship) is to trust your gut. I usually knew within 10-15 minutes of meeting someone if the relationship was worth persuing (based on gut) and if I went against it I usually regretted it.

Your gut sounds like it's saying "go for it and see" and that's worth more than the advice here.

Good luck!

[Undercover]

"Do I see myself with him (seriously)? No, but who knows. I really enjoy talking to him - A LOT. I look forward to his calls."

Okay then, there you go! At worst, maybe you guys become really good buddies!! :-) Enjoy your conversations and take it for what it's worth.

Out of curiosity, how many times have you actually talked to him on the phone in the past two weeks (5/17 - 5/30)?

"My mind goes blank because there are times I think of you. You just don't know how much I tell people that I met you on May 17."

"If there is anything that I can do for you please let me know."

Wow... seriously, only 2 weeks? Am I missing something?

[Jayesh]

Densel,

Wow.. This is an interesting thread. The guy does sound like he's coming on very strong, but I think you ought to give him a chance. However, make sure that you make him understand that it will take time for you to like him as much as he likes you

Jay

[Antonina]

wow, sounds like he has completely thrown caution to the wind.

That has happened to me before- it was after a one day fling while I was overseas... I picked up this boy who happened to be from where I am also from- nothing dodgey happened- but after that, I went backpacking around Europe for 8 weeks (which he knew). Through that time, he kept emailing me to say how lovely it was that he saw the sunrise in with me, and that how meeting me was the last thing he'd expected etc, and how he couldn't wait to see me back home again. Then within a day of getting back home from my trip he called, and next thing I knew he came to my work to see me (without asking). In the end it was all too much and I just had to get out of it.

Just depends on your comfort levels. If he doesn't freak you out when you spend time with him, it's probably going to be fine... but if you feel weird, get out.;)

[Unregistered]

Wow, I have a similar problem. I met this guy a couple of months ago. We went to the same high school, but I graduated a few years before him, and we live in the same town. I gave him my number and he called, but after talking to him, I wasn't really into him and I told him this flat out. He's called me since then and when ever I run into him he tells me that he could see himself married to me and I'm like his perfect woman or whatever.
I'm 24, he's 22. I graduated from a good college two years ago, he's in community college now. He has a child with another girl, I hardly want to deal with kids. I don't want to sound snobby, but I feel like we don't have much in common and he's not my type, but he just can't see why I won't give it a chance or be friends with him. I don't think he's really into the same stuff as me, but wants to follow me around to museums or whatever just because I'm into it.

[Densel]

UNDERCOVER,

I've probably spoken to him every single day. No, you are not missing anything at all. I've told him I have no expectations and he shouldn't too. NO PROMISES.

[Undercover]

Densel,

That's great! As long as you guys are on the same level and you're being honest with him... it's all good. Good Luck!

[Twentysixmiss]

Hi Densel,

This is very interesting to read. I feel like I'm in the same position to a certain extent. I got to know this guy over about two months, he is a friend of friends so I know he is "okay", and we got into a stay-up-all-night-talking thing each time I visited them. All well and good but I didn't think there was anything else in it, besides which it's not long (three months, I don't call that very long) since I broke up with my last guy. But then I got the feeling he wanted more, and he was very into emailing, keeping the interest going etc. I have to confess I didn't do anything to discourage him, although we did have a lot of talks about relationships and how happy we both were being single :-).

Anyway a few weeks of this went by and eventually I couldn't deny that I really enjoyed our talks and felt comfortable with him - just like you saying you talk on the phone for hours and you look forward to it. I thought why not? I'll give it a chance. It's nice that we have friends in common and if I don't give it a chance I'll never know.

But I spent a LONG time worried that if I did let things go a little further I would be leading him on. I knew he was keener on me than I was on him (and I wasn't sure about the physical attraction, still am not sure) and so it seemed unfair to do anything at all. I can see your dilemma because you don't want to feel you are playing with him when you might then turn around and say "actually, I don't like you in that way after all". You have all the power and he's going to know it, and you're worried that he will look back and think you used him.

I wish I could say that I have the answer but I don't, I'm more or less in the same position as you. I spent a long weekend with him a couple of weeks ago which felt like a major emotional risk, before I went, though I knew I could bail out at any point and stay with my friends nearby. However, it went great and whatever happens now I'm glad I gave it at least that much chance, as we had a great weekend. I have warned him over and over that I might turn around and say I don't want to continue "getting to know him better" and that he can't have a go at me if that happens, because I warned him. Even so I'm not entirely morally happy about it, but then, I don't think these things can ever be entirely equal all the way through.

Well I'm really interested to know how things go for you. Does he live nearby or what? This guy lives about 120 miles away, not a lot in the States I suppose but it's nice and far away for a scared woman in London.

Best of luck.
26Miss

[Unregistered]

don't not give this a chance just because you are not sure how attracted to him you are. think about it, if it were the other way around and you were crazy over him, you'd want that chance. when you come on as strong as this guy is, you have to understand that your feelings could get hurt. obviously, he thinks that's a risk worth taking. that's his decision, you don't need to protect his feelings. if it turns out that you are just attracted by the flattery, then it will be unfortunate for him, but at least he'll know he tried. he sounds like a great guy, go for it!! can't wait to hear how it went.

[Densel]

For those of you who are curious...

We have a date this Saturday. This would be the 2nd time we've met since May 17th (first meeting in the Airport). He's still coming on strong...

He is currently on vacation in South America and he sent me an e-mail saying

"I am having a good time here in South America but the only thing that bothers me here is that I miss you. I´m thinking of you all the time and just can´t wait to be with you."

I'll let you guys know how things go...

I know guys: PUBLIC setting, meet him at venue, don't let him know where you live, NO SEX...etc.

[Densel]

First of all...he brought a bunch of his friends to our "date!". That wasn't the worst part! In the movie theater, his friends wouldn't stop talking...and throwing popcorn at themselves!

OKAY! Let me start from the top.

We were suppose to meet at 9:00pm. Then he calls me and says his friends would be joining us. I was a little irritated but I played it cool. Then, he calls me 10 mins late and said one of his friends can't reach his date and they were running late! He told me that we would watch any movie I wanted and we won't have to hang around his friends.

He got there at 9:30pm (LATE). We got to the booth and he asked me if I wanted him to pay for my ticket (NOW I'M THINKING THIS MUST BE CANDID CAMERA). I said 'NO' and paid for my ticket. Oh...before that, he asked me if I wanted to see INSOMNIA. I said 'NO' because I had already seen it the week before. Then he said that that was the movie his friends wanted see...so that's what we saw. I'm beginning to loose it but still playing it cool...

We got to our seats...he told me we can sit anywhere I wanted to. I picked the middle rows. His friends walked in and said..."Dude, we gonna sit at the last row, man!" So guess where we ended up sitting! Yep, at the make out row (the last row).

Gesh...Let's just say that's the end of that! I told him I'll give him a call when I get over our "DATE". If he's sitting by the phone waiting for my call, he might as well have a BUDLIGHT and call it an experience.

And he had the guts to ask me for a kiss at the end of the damn date! HELL NO! I wish you guys were there to see for yourselves how it went. I could have walked out at the middle of this drama, but I was just trying to be nice.

[Antonina]

Sounds like a date from hell! you poor thing.
I couldn't stop laughing as I was reading your post, it felt like a scene out of a hollywood movie. (I'm sorry)

How are you going? I hope you're not too crushed- it's been a lot of anticipation, hasn't it?
Well he sounds like a bit of a loser- at least you've found that out now and can move onto the next good thing! better luck next time...

[Densel]

I've never had a 'date-from-hell' so it was REALLY irritating. When I think about it now, I start to laugh...but yesterday, it wasn't funny.

Now, I wished I could have told him I was going to the restroom and didn't return. That would have been a CLASSIC!

For any of you who watched INSOMNIA (with Robin Williams and Al Pachino)...
Did you think the scene where Robin Williams was describing how he killed the teenager was funny? The teenager was laughing and all of a sudden Robin Williams hits her and keeps beating her until she dies!

My date thought it was very funny but I didn't see the humor in that so I was wondering if maybe my sense of humor needs to be refreshed a bit.

[Densel]

I just got this email from him...

"Well I don't know how to start? It won't be long.You were right about last night. I really didn't live up to everything I said and I was kind of selfish. I apologize and shit won't go down like that if we ever meet again. I have no excuse for my friends behavior that night nor do I have one for myself.

I know how to treat girls. No one I've ever dated complained about how I treated them. I said too much so let me show you. Call me please.

From now until I talk to you again, Everytime my phone rings I'm hoping it's your number on the caller I.D. I'm sorry for everything and I pray to God tonight that I'll get a chance to talk to you and see you again.

Sorry for making this a little long but there is two things that I want to tell you. First, Tues. night you were so beautiful and that is one reason why I want to see you again. Second, if I ever get a next time, I swear I'll show you I can be the man you want me to be.

Good Night"

WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK?

[M4A1]

It amazes me when a person say all these "nice" things and act like a jackass on a date.

You said you like to go for the "brainy" types. Did he show you any other side of him to back that image? How does he do on topics of career? does he have common sense? what's his perspective on topics that's important to you? Or is he just "romantic"?

By asking you whether if YOU want him pay for your movie ticket-- that's pretty retarded. On top of that, he decided to see that movie even after you told him that you saw it. That's just inexcusable.

Base on these information. I'd just call it quits. If he ain't got anything else to show for. I bet you can find a better looking & sweeter talking guy somewhere else. Why waste your time when he acts like a jackass.

[Jayesh]

Densel,

Something tells me that he's trying to play you. I may be wrong, but I just got this hunch. It sounds like he is telling you what he thinks you want to hear, and in the end he just wants to show you off to his friends. Do you think that if he would have truly thought that you were the perfect girl for him, he would have acted the way he did??

J

[Unregistered]

sounds like he's really immature. how old is he anyway?

[sunbear]

Hi Densel,
Sorry to hear about that date-
There is this book called "The Bad Girl's guide to getting what she wants". There's all sorts of tips on how to get out of a bad date, running to the bathroom and not returning was actually in there!
It doesn't sound like you were too impressed by this guy and his friends- just think about it, if you were to date this guy, do you think his friends would still be in the picture? Can you see yourself being dragged into doing something you don't want to do? The first date is usually when someone does the most to impress someone usually.
Good luck!

[Undercover]

Densel,

A, this guy is just retarded with respect to his dating tactics.
B, he seems very immature... bringing friends on a date... not even to mention the fact that he brought you to a movie on a first date... what is he 18? (very unsocial)!
C, he's way too needy.

Densel, from just how everything sounds this guy doesn't deserve your time... he sounds like a tool to me.

Good luck kido.