"the one" and "falling in love"

[kitalyn414]

i went to dinner w/ my girlfriends the other night, and i was telling them about the guy i am dating. they started asking me, "so do you think he might be 'the one?" WHAT??? since when do we ask each other that?

in addition... said guy told me last night that he is "falling in love" with me? how is one supposed to respond to that? i mean, you either love some one or not, i think.

[bd1222]

Aww Kit! That is sweet about your man....How long have you been seeing each other? i want details!!!

[kitalyn414]

ummm... only like 2 months. it was very sweet, but i kind of didn't know what to say. :confused:

[bd1222]

Well it could leave you a little speechless...how did you respond? I would have been like awwwwww...and all...How do u feel about him? I think it's a good thing - at least he is not throwing the "l" word around yet!!!

[paperjam1015]

awww.... 2 months is a good time for that!

:)

[wordsmith]

I personally think two months (if you see one another often, anyway) is sufficient time to have a grip on whether or not you might be developing a deeper than casual attraction to a person.

[ResurrecteD]

I don't think there's much to the 'falling in love' bit...other than an overly-romanticized Hollywood cliche...

to me, you either love someone or you don't...here, LOVE=verb...henceforth you either act in a loving manner towards someone or you don't...you cannot sorta half-assedly treat someone else with compassion, kindness, respect, tenderness, consideration, etc....

...more appropriately, although far less romantic to most, said gent ought to have stated:

"Kitalyn, I am beginning to have the urge to behave more lovingly towards you more often as of late." :D

[stonemonkey]

I am beginning to have the urge to behave more lovingly towards you more often as of late.

i can't imagine romeo saying that to juliet

[paperjam1015]

ummm that just sounds like he wants to get some.....

[WeirdBrake]

I think the most general meaning of the word "love" is a commitment of the will to the true good of another person, so I would agree that it's something you do rather than something you feel.

So in other words, you've resurrected the idea that love is a verb.

[pisces2473]

Love is definitely a verb. Love just doesn't happen--you have to work at it.

[gluegun]

I don't think you "either love somebody or you don't". In my experience, falling in love with somebody is a gradual process. There are shades of grey all along the way. Life and people are too complicated to have love be an all or nothing proposition.

What he probably means is "I'm starting to feel like I love you today, but I know this feeling is just the beginning of how I could potentially feel about you in the future".

[kitalyn414]

Originally posted by gluegun
What he probably means is "I'm starting to feel like I love you today, but I know this feeling is just the beginning of how I could potentially feel about you in the future". yeah, that could be it. i guess i feel a scaled down version of that for him. i really care about him and know that it could develop into more in the future.

[Tayl405]

Just be careful that you don't say it if you don't mean it. That could only end in disaster (or most likely would).

[gluegun]

Yeah, definitely don't say it yet if you don't mean it. There is plenty of time for that later. In the mean time use the old stand bys: "I care about you too", "you mean a lot to me as well", and my personal favorite, a simple "thank you".

[Tayl405]

"thank you"--that's so funny!

I always think of the Friends episode where Ross tells Emily he loves her and she says "thank you" before getting on the plane...lol

That's the ultimate shot down

[wordsmith]

Originally posted by Tayl405
"thank you"--that's so funny!

I always think of the Friends episode where Ross tells Emily he loves her and she says "thank you" before getting on the plane...lol

That's the ultimate shot down

Or the episode of That 70's Show, where Donna tells Foreman that she loves him for the first time, and he panics and blanks and responds with "I love.....cake."

[Skyblade]

The first time my ex told me he loved me, he was kinda drunk...shoulda known

[gluegun]

I've never been the person who says "I love you" first. And whenever a guy says it to me I'm caught completely off guard. I'm a bit slow on the pick up.

[Tayl405]

My ex said it to me too when he was drunk and said it many times but I wasn't comfortable saying it back. So when I finally did, he freaked out and said he didn't love me. Needless to say, it didn't work out...

The guy I'm with now though, we don't say it yet, and I refuse to be the first person to say it (I'm not ready to yet anyway, but if and when I am). He's got serious committment fears and I think that's a step he needs to take first.

[ResurrecteD]

Originally posted by WeirdBrake


So in other words, you've resurrected the idea that love is a verb.

:huge: rock on WB...finally a little recognition...starting to get a bit lonely here in the corner with my dunce cap on...

...it saddens me to hear so many talk about their 'love' etiquette...who says it first, when, why, how...(shaking head)...it all runs back to my point initially...if you 'love' someone you are actively loving them, regardless of whether such verbiage is explicitly exchanged...sounds like most people consider 'love' to be more of a noun...something tangible they exchange with their partners...something they can polish, and shine, and keep tucked away in a little decorative box until they are ready to take it out and use it...for what purpose??? I guess as an exercise in formality...but be careful!?! this fragile little box of love is so vulnerable, so delicate, so pretty and useless...quick!!! put it back on the shelf, out of harm's way, we may need it later!!!

...I challenge everyone reading this...I challenge you to spend a moment of your day actively loving someone in your life...don't wait until later, do it now, while you still remember, while you still have the chance...because you never know what the next moment will bring................