Roommate Crisis

[BCS819]

I am going through a major struggle with my roommate and figured what better place to come for advice than here. I have lived with my roommate for the past 10mths. Most of that time she was not around because she had a job which required a lot of traveling. I was lonely at first but eventually I got used to it and enjoyed having the place to myself. About a month ago we got into an arguement because her boyfriend got a job in our city and he was from out of town; she wanted him to move in with us "until he could find a place". I was totally against the idea of her boyfriend moving in, esp because she was never there and it would be uncomfortable to live with someone else's boyfriend. Regardless, I agreed to a temp. move-in because I didn't want to ruin the friendship. I knew from the start he would stay until the end of our lease because why wouldn't he? He was staying there for free. I was able to get our lease shortened by a month. Everything seemed to be ok. Well she stopped talking to me all of a sudden and then I came home the other night to find that she moved all the living room furniture(which was hers) out and into storage. Four weeks early! I also discovered that she had the phone disconnected without telling me. Yet her boyfriend still lives there! Does anyone else think this sounds bizarre?? Because I am too angry to talk to her right now, I sent her an email asking her to make other arrangements for her boyfriend as I don't feel comfortable having him there. She hasn't replied. Does anyone think I am over reacting? She did all this just to spite me after I was nice and let her boyfriend live there a month free. Now with him still there, she has forced me to basically live out of my bedroom(b/c that's the only room left with furniture) and I have no phone to use the internet for the next four weeks. And her boyfriend is still there.

What should I do??

[bag lady]

Wow - That IS bizarre.
I don't think you are over-reacting at all, and I think you did the right thing asking her boyfriend to leave. Jeez...he's not even paying rent. Roommate situations can be difficult. I am able to live alone right now, but having a roommate would definitely help financially... Are you planning on getting a new roommate when your lease is up?
I don't know what to tell you to do. I think I would just try to find something else and move out as soon as possible, especially since she doesn't seem to respect you as her roommate.
Good Luck!!!

[Antonina]

you poor thing- sounds like a nightmare. She sounds very vindictive! (to move everything out without even a courtesy notice to you). What does her boyfriend use then? (sounds like there is nothing there).

Why did you shorten the lease? Was that done with acrimony, or did you give her notice? Maybe she is taking revenge for that- not that that excuses her bad behaviour.

Hope it all works out for you- keep us updated

[BCS819]

I did discuss it with her about ending the lease early(though she says I didn't). The main reason I did it is because it saved me $90/mth rent on the new apartment I found. And no, I am not having a roommate. Just me and the cat. No more roommates! I have learned my lesson. The other reason I did it was because I am uncomfortable with her boyfriend being there and didn't want to stay there any longer than I had to.

And yes, it comes down to her being mad that I ended the lease a month early ( I finally got a reply from her). She also proceeded to tell me everything she doesn't like about me and everything I have ever done wrong since basically the day we met. I'm quite curious how we have even been friends or why she moved in with me because she thinks I am the "cheapest, most selfish, hypocritical" person she's ever met. Nice, coming from one of my best "friends". She wrote most of her comments in the plural form giving me the impression that the rest of my friends are siding with her and they've felt this way for a long time. Good to know I have such honest friends. I am not jumping to conclusions until I speak with the other two but if that's how they all feel, well, why would I want to be freinds with people who feel that way about me?

I will just be relieved when this is all over. Three more weeks and I have my own place and if I have to start over making new friends, so be it. I start school again in the fall so I won't have much time anyway.

Thank you all for listening. I am sure there will be more gripes to come. My best advice for ladies out there is to just stick with guy friends. A lot less drama!

[Unregistered]

I agree, this person is not a friend, not because she's a woman (although insecure women can be total b$#$ for no reason), but because she's a jerk. I think she wanted you out all along and now she can blame you for it and off of her. she's nuts, so if your other friends don't remotely understand your point than they're nuts too. Move on!