Pull of the material world

[VitreousHumour]

Hi,

Seven years have passed since I first graduated. I remember the first few years after graduation - they were filled with ambition and dreams. Of course, as time progresses, all these hopes and dreams were severely tested and strained. However, I have never let go of my dreams. I spent seven years chasing what I thought I wanted.

Fast forward to today. I am now an investment banker - something I wanted to be since graduation. I earn a decent living, I've got a roof above my head, I can afford to take my family out for decent meals without having to worry too much about the bill etc... But somehow, I've got a feeling this is not how I want to live my life.

Generally, I don't know who my friends are in the industry. The hours are extremely long. I have no time to spend with my wife and my family. I stare at financial statements for hours - super boring!! This is not me.

But, having ploughed so much time and effort into what Im doing, this sudden realization that this might not be for me has left me in a bit of a quandary. What can I do if I leave?... I have never thought of an alternative.

Even if I start evaluating my options now, I know deep down inside that if I choose something else, I would be taking quite a major pay cut. I cant seem to let go of the materialistic side of my job. It is extremely difficult especially if you live in Asia where money is everything....

Looks like I've got into a little bit of a quandary... Im not sure if its QLC. Im 27, so I guess it's a bit too early for mid-life crisis....

Thx for reading. Im not looking for answers cuz I know there are none. But if anyone else feels the same, I empathize...

VH

[midtwenty]

First and foremost, welcome. I'm glad you've found us.
That said, time for my input (and bear with me...other posters 'round here know I can be pretty straightforward).

Why do you automatically assume that because you've chosen this path, all other paths are closed forever? Have you even looked for a path that might incorporate what you already do and know into something more fulfilling? I read nothing in your post that indicated that you had even looked at your options. In essence, it comes across that you've given up without even trying. In your line of work, you should know that the biggest investment you'll make your entire life is YOU. The old saying "If Daddy ain't happy, nobody is happy" is very true. You have to achieve personal happiness before being able to pass it along to anyone else. You should also know that money will buy things, but not happiness. Never happiness.

So, the question is not, what have you been doing all this time? The question is: What are you going to do NOW?

[wordsmith]

Coming from a very close, very loving family that always struggled financially, I have to say that you're more likely to do worse damage to your own quality of life and that of your family's by staying in a field with which you're horribly unhappy than you will be by taking a pay cut. I'm not saying embrace poverty, but making do with slightly less for the sake of personal happiness and fulfillment never killed anybody. If you don't like what you're doing, find something that makes you happy and still manages to provide sufficiently for yourself and your loved ones.

[Tbone]

I agree! Money won't buy happiness, it just buys security, which is what we all want. Have you considered working with a career counselor? Someone who can help you find direction? I just met with one yesterday and loved the experience! I'm meeting with her again next week. She's having me take some assessments like the Myers-Briggs and the Strong Interest Inventory. These assessments say a lot about you and where your interests are and can really help you narrow in on a path. These career counselors are even connected with Recruiters who can help you with a job search.