Ph.D.?

[gluegun]

I'm thinking about going back to school for round three. I'm looking into doing a Ph.D. in Public Policy and Administration with a minor in International Relations.

I'm already working as the Program Administrator for one of the non-profit/univeristy programs at the University of Utah. I can receive half off tuition. Plus my employers are EXTREMELY supportive of me going back to school. They even said that I could reduce my hours and work from home if necessary. And get this, they'll allow me to do my dissertation on one of the projects that I already have to do for my job. So I'd basically be killing two birds with one stone.

Basically I've been given an opportunity that I can't refuse.

The problem is that this was not the plan AT ALL. My live-in boyfriend and I have been talking about moving to Chicago or DC in the next year or so. Plus, we're looking at buying another house.

I feel like a renegade for throwing a wrench into the plan that we both created. If I were single there is no question that I'd be thrilled about going back to school. But under the circumstances I feel guilty - like I'm asking my boyfriend to sacrifice so much.

help

[WeirdBrake]

Is a Ph.D really going to help you that much in terms of your career? I mean, is it going to open some huge professional door or help you move toward some tangible career goal that you wouldn't be able to move toward without it? If the answer's no, it doesn't seem like it would be worth all the sacrifice. Yes, it's a good opportunity and you're getting some breaks from your employer to do it, but that doesn't seem like reason enough to commit to something as huge as a Ph.D program. Not to mention all the other ways you said it would disrupt your life.

[gluegun]

Hmm..good question. My boss, a woman whom I consider to be my mentor and role model, insists that it will be a great way to distinguish myself professionally. She insists that if I want to reach my career peek then I'm going to need to get the doctorate. One of her examples was "say you want to head up a new project for the WHO in a foreign country - a PhD could make all the difference".

And it isn't like this PhD notion is out of the blue. I've been ruminating over the idea for several years.

Plus, I'm ready to be intellectually challenged.

I KNOW this is something that I want to do. In fact, I was really hoping that people would tell me that it is a great idea and I should totally go for it.

But I still feel guilty for f*ing up my boyfriend's plans.

[WeirdBrake]

If you know in your heart that getting a Ph.D is right for you, then by all means do it. I'm not a fan of ignoring something you feel in your gut, especially when it comes to career moves.

Would it harm your bf's career in any way? If not, I think you both can work through it. It may be an adjustment to change the plans, but a PhD program is ultimately temporary.

[WeirdBrake]

"WHO" stands for World Health Organization, right?

[gluegun]

Yes. I currently work in the health field so it has always been a dream of mine to work on public health issues abroad.

[gluegun]

I'm not sure what this would mean for my boyfriend's career. I think that his motivation for changing cities has more to do with wanting a life style shift than anything else.

We have yet to have a serious discussion about this. He has been out of town all week so he isn't aware of all the research I've done on the program in his absence.

I'm going to have to tell him that I want this over the weekend. I just feel so bad about reneging on all of the plans that we've made.

[WeirdBrake]

Then it's probably time to have that serious discussion. This really does seem to be about your long-range career goals and dreams. In which case, I think the Ph.D program is something you should do.

[Phoenix]

I say go for it if you know in your heart that you'd regret it if you didn't pursue it. I do think you have to do it for you. Worst case scenario about the PHD (in one aspect) - what if you and your BF aren't together in the future? Would you kick yourself for not doing it?

Do you think he'd break up with you or not want to compromise if you want to pursue this? How long would it take you to do the PHD? If it's 2 years, would he be upset about waiting one more year than you originally discussed?