Defining Your Identity

[Restless]

To pick up on a dialog started by Wandering (whew!) - how do we define our Identity. In today's world unfortunately...it's largely by what we do. Maybe that's because we spend 40% - 60% of our day in our jobs. It's hard not too define yourself in any other way.

BUT this is a problem we have with our self-perceptions. I can easily describe my friends/loved ones/family members without referring to what they do. For example by Dad is generous, caring, fun-loving, etc. My friends are good listeners, have a great sense of humor, etc.

For some reason we have trouble describing ourselves this way. This is fundamentally our identity. Not what we "DO" but who we are. I can't say that I've reached the point of describing myself without mentioning my job.

My ideal state of mind is when I can know myself without using ANY external factors to define myself. Not work, not where I live, not even friends or family. To me that's when I'll really know who I am and what I want in life. Maybe that’s too idealistic.

[squirmy]

It's not too idealistic. But in a work-oriented culture, defining ourselves by what we do is inevitable.

To a degree, and perhaps only in some cases, what we do is simply a reflection of who we are.

[sunbear]

It goes beyond that, esp if your social(or lack thereof) life revolves around your work...
I'm starting to identify myself as the Homer Simpson of the group. I call my coworker the Korean Drew Carey. My supervisor is either a fairy or the Tool of Satan- and my manager is the designated hall monitor. We have another manager who is in charge of the troughs around here. I don't know what to call him.

[Aurelem]

Want a donut, Sunbear? :D

You can't help but like Homer Simpson. I guess that's why The Simpsons is one of my favorite TV shows. I just don't get to see it most times because I have other things to do. Doh!

[TranquilSkye]

well whats wrong with identifying ourselves with what we do? that says a lot about a person also. if you want to identify yourself as more than that it gets to a more personal level. i honestly don't want to identify on a personal level with the majority of the people i know. it just seems unnecessary, you know? now if you're talking about someone you want to be close to i can see why you would want to go beyond just what you do, and move toward who you are.

[sunbear]

Tranquil Skye,
I can see where you're coming from. you identify a person usually with the easiest thing that makes that person noticable to you. Girl with blonde hair, asian lady, tall guy, construction person, college student, old fart, weasel, slob, etc.
I think that some of us have a sense of pride that doesnt' include work. I think during work hours, I'm the discount stock broker or the nutcase. After hours, I'm just the nutcase.
:p

[TranquilSkye]

yes sunbear thats exactly where i was going. keeping things simple. i don't mind being identified by something obvious like college student, oldest daughter, state worker, etc. but for people who are very close to me they may identify me on a less obvious level. i guess it all depends on what you want people to see.

[Aurelem]

Good point, Tranquil Skye. I prefer to be defined by my own terms as well.

Since Sunbear already called for being the nutcase, I want to be the eccentric one. I'm usually off in my own world, making up my own rules for life. LOL!

[squirmy]

I'll be the girl with the identity crisis.