Regarding Parents

[Stillakid]

The one thing about "Quarterlife Crisis" that surprised me was that none of the people in the book seemed upset to leave home. I am 25 and still living at home, with no plans to leave. I know I will have to do it someday, but for now, I can't imagine being is a situation where I don't see or talk to my parents everyday. Most of the people in the book seemed to be annoyed that they have to live with there parents. I think my main problem is that I only went away to college for one semester, so I never really got a taste of like on my own independent from my parents. I was wondering if anyone out there had a similar experience. Should I move out before I'm ready and hope I'll get used to the lifestyle? Or should I stay and not leave until I'm comfortable with it, even if it means living at home until I'm 30? Any advice I can would be a great help. Thanks!

[gabi]

hello,

no there is nothing wrong with living at home. i am at the point of having to move home. it's just that you have your own schedule and priorities which tend to conflict with your parents. that's all.
and it really depends on where you live also, for instance, i live in San Francisco and it is very normal to stay at home.

[shawna]

What's wrong with living at home? I lived at home for a few years after school and when push came to shove, I was the only one of my friends with a little extra spending cash. The way I see it is this: if you and your parents can respect the space each other needs...why leave? I only left because I moved out of the state. I wish I could live with mom and dad.

[Anonymous]

Dont feel bad! I just graduated from college the past May...Im 25 and I also live at home. I commuted to school to save money, so I didnt have to rack up unnecessary amounts of loans that I would have to pay back! I come and go as I please and although its not where I plan on staying forever, its comforting to know that my parents are understanding and supportive enough to allow me to find my own way in life (no matter how long that will be!) It is frustrating at times b/c I feel like I should already be out on my own and making my own way, like some of my other friends, but like someone else said, Im 1 of the few who have some extra spending money (as little as it is) and who's not wondering if Im going to have to eat Rammin noodles for the fifth time in a week! Take ur time and do it right. As long as you and ur parents get along and they're okay with it, you will be better off in the long run! Good luck /phpBB/images/smiles/icon_smile.gif

[Stillakid]

I just wanted to say thanks to those people who responded to my original posting. It makes me realize that I should live my life according to what I want and not worry so much about how others will judge me. Thanks again!!

[Anonymous]

One more for you. I just turned 26 (well, my facing that recent birthday could take up another message board) and I am now living with mom and dad. However, I do have intentions of leaving. I have moved out a couple of times before, and I miss owning my own apartment. When I lost my last job, I moved back in with them to until I got back on my own feet. Now I have a great job, but considering how expensive rent is around here (the NYC area) I think I'll stay for another year to save money. You have to hand it to most parents, it doesn't matter what a rotton kid you once were, they are always willing to take you back with open arms. Who else in your life can be that selfless?

[Anonymous]

OK... well i will tell you why i wanted to move out of home... but have not as yet...

In my case, i believed that my parents would support be no matter what... but when my university studies turned bad, they practically dis-owned me...I don't want to go into the details, but my uni was affected as i was consulting for some top line companies in my field not because i was bludging...

Their re-action to the indicent has totally thrown me to not trust anyone to fallback on fully.

We eventually (after months)started talking again and they "accepted" me.

[tweetypie1977]

I am 24 and still live at home. I can't afford to move out right now. If you have a good relationship with you parents its not so bad to live at home. For myself, I feel I need to move out. My parents are still too involed in my life, and I feel that I'm not learning how to rely on myself and my own decisions.

[maggie6059]

Hi,

Stillakid, it sounds like your parents are great to live with! I think most people move out because their parents are difficult to live with and so they want 'freedom'.

I went to school away from home from age 14 and then to university away from home. So my family always gave me my independance.

Since moving at 23 to England (without my family), I genuinly miss living with my dad (I'm now 25). Not only does he have air conditioning! But he is one of my best friends.

I will also say that sometimes there is a lot to gain by challenging yourself to be independent. The most difficult moves in life are the ones where you force yourself to leave a 'comfortable' situation into the unknown.

If you take the attitude--nothing ventured nothing lost--You risk missing out on a lot that life can offer. Even if a decision turns out to be negative you will still benefit by learning from it.

I guess what I'm saying is that at 25 there is no hurry move out, but doing so, when you feel ready, will probably enhance your already good relationship with your parents.

[30something]

Just to play devils advocate ....

Have you asked your parents how they really (and I mean really) feel about your extended stay at home ? Something I noticed looking back at my twenties was that I was only concerned with my problems, and didn't really try to consider other's points of view.

By staying at home, not only do you not start your own independant life, enabling you to grow - but you do not give your parents the chance to move onto their next phase in life.

The concerns about losing that special connection and advice from your parents are valid - this will happen, but it's necessary for you to become who you are - don't worry it will be re-established later, my relationship with my parents is better now than ever. Because I've been through all the trauma, pain and joy (don't forget this one !) of my independant life in my twenties, I can now speak to them as true equals.