Completely LOST in LA

[hg5119]

I was always such a happy-go-lucky girl with a bright and hopeful future....always confident...always determined.....always focused.....I knew exactly what I wanted.......until now....

I am a 24 year old who graduated from college 2 years ago and I feel completely lost...and it's not because I don't have a good job....I have a great job - a job that a lot of people my age want and I have worked extemely hard to get to this point in my life...but somehow I still feel completely unfulfilled...like what I'm doing on a day-to-day basis is so meaningless and I want to do something that I feel passionate about....but does that ever happen?.....I thought being a pharmaceutical sales rep would be the ideal job for me ...autonomy, money.....but I just feel monotony and loneliness......

I moved to LA 1 year ago to pursue acting and am in so much credit card debt and student loan debt that I feel there is no other choice but to work at a job where I am not that happy for the income...........but is money everything???? I used to say in college that "all I wanted was to make a ton of money"....but I honestly don't think it can provide happiness....

I guess what I am so confused about is whether or not to follow my dream and my heart and what feels right...and possibly struggle financially.........or to ignore those feelings, cravings, or as my uncle would say "pipe dreams" I'm not expecting to become some "big hollywood movie star" but I am expecting to work hard to get to the point where I can be a "working actor"...and do it solely for a living.

I don't know what else I would do aside of pharm sales for a "real job"....I am extremely ambitious...but I really can't imagine doing anything but acting. Everything else seems soooo monotonous....the idea of working 9-5 makes me sick to my stomach.....I feel so restless...will I ever feel somewhat satisfied?...is it just my age that causes me to feel so restless..constantly yearning for change.........What do I do??????

I wish someone could just tell me...that would make it so much easier...ANY ADVICE WOULD BE GREATLY APPRECIATED

[pash]

I don't know what to advise you as far as following your dreams - I guess, if there was a way you could do both - follow your dreams, while working enough to support yourself in a job that would give you another pathway, in case, that would be ideal. But, you would probably be miserable if you didn't follow your dream at all. In my opinion, money does not give you happiness, but you do need enough to live without too much worry. I have always been the type of person who only wants to make enough money for the basics, so now that I am doing that and saving a little, I am pretty happy in that arena.

However, my real reason for responding to your post is to say that you are not alone in being shocked by this feeling of confusion. I, too (and I think a lot of people on here) was a very happy person my whole life until I first graduated from college and the stress and confusion I felt was so foreign to me. I think life just takes some getting used to - I am feeling better about most things and am happy a lot more of the time, now, and I think it will only get better.

[hopeless]

You certainly are not alone with being lost & confused. I know my friend who actually lives in West Covina not far from LA who is almost in the same position as you are in. She has been living in CA for about 3 yrs. & since then taken odd jobs. She's now a customer rep for T-Mobile working over 40 yrs./wk. The thing is I know she doesn't enjoy doing this, but it's the only way for her to pay off her student loans, & the bills. She originally applied to a few law schools after graduating college, took the LSAT, but all the schools she applied for rejected her since she just finished out of school & usually they want applicants to have some experience of work even if it's not law related. Anyway like myself we want more out of our lives, more money, nice place, nice things. Not only that, but I can't even reach her just to talk since she's so freakin busy.

[WeirdBrake]

She originally applied to a few law schools after graduating college, took the LSAT, but all the schools she applied for rejected her since she just finished out of school & usually they want applicants to have some experience of work even if it's not law related.

Sorry to be contentious, but I don't want other QLCers to be misinformed about law school admissions. The main factors for LS admission are LSAT score and undergraduate GPA. Those make or break you. There's also some weight given to undergrad school name, personal essay, and various other accomplishments and life experiences. Work experience by itself, however, is given very little weight by law admissions committees, and indeed many law students come there straight from college with no previous work experience. It wouldn't be the reason for the rejection.

[kitalyn414]

hg - are you trying to get auditions on top of your other job??? i don't really know what the schedule of a pharm sales rep is, but realize that you won't be able to manifest your dreams unless you make yourself available for them to happen.

so, if it is important to you to be an actor, then be an actor. if it is important to you to have money, then pursue a well-paying field (like the one you are already in). you have only been in LA a year. that is nothing. i understand that you want to be an actor, but there are HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS of people here who want the same thing & you are in competition with them. many of them work jobs with odd hours so that they can pursue their acting careers. if you really want to be an actor & require an income, this is what you need to do. that is simply the reality of the situation. so just decide if you could live with that.

my best friend is an actor and works weekends teaching theatre to kids and weekday evenings helping at a small local theatre. she has been here for two years and has not gotten an agent, much less any parts. and she is VERY pretty and talented, in my opinion. luckily for her, her parents supplement her income, so she doesn't have to wait tables or anything like that.

i don't necessarily think a career in entertainment is a pipe dream, unless you are totally untalented and unmotivated. unfortunately, having talent & motivation aren't usually enough. not everyone "makes it." that's just how it is. anyone who chooses to go after a career in the arts must come to terms with that reality & decide if they can be happy knowing that they at least tried.

good luck!

[inqlc]

just an idea...

since it sounds like you don't really like your current job, you could pursue acting, but in addition to that, why don't you try out a side job that you hopefully have some interest in, that isn't 9-5, will provide you supplemental income, and may serve as a step towards a "back up" career in case the acting thing doesn't work out...

if you don't know what else you'd be interested in besides acting, see if there's something that at least sparks a little interest in you and give it a try. if you don't end up liking that, find something new and kind of go through it like a process of elimination. knowing what you don't like to do is a great step towards discovering what you do like to do!

especially if you're going to go into acting, you should probably make sure you have some savings to help you through this process. i know you mentioned some debt, so that's where i really suggest you find some other work besides the acting. needless to say, isn't always easy to find a good job that permits time to go to auditions, etc...

i respect you for wanting to do what you love, and realizing that money isn't everything. just try to use your best judgement and try to make the "smartest" choices you can...best of luck to you!

[sad555]

okay hg5119.. i see your concern and can definitely relate. My advice... if it were me... would be to try acting for a few months and see where it goes. you could always go back to sales. you could:

take a "leave of absence" from your current job (maybe a medical leave or family emergency) and pursue acting for a few months to get it out of your system. this way you could always go back.

or

just leave the job to pursue acting for a few months and see where it goes. i'm sure you could get back into sales if it doesn't work out.

you don't want to say "what if?" your whole life. pharm sales is a huge industry and you have some experience. you could always go back. is there no way you could do both... go for auditions in between sales calls?

[Lumburg]

Originally posted by hopeless
She originally applied to a few law schools after graduating college, took the LSAT, but all the schools she applied for rejected her since she just finished out of school & usually they want applicants to have some experience of work even if it's not law related.

Like blake said, law schools don't care if you have work experiene, and if they do, it's one of those cherry on top things, not a deal breaker. Maybe you're thinking of business school where work experience is extremely important.

Anyway, regarding your LA thing, you can't be alone. I'd imagine everyone and their mother moves to LA to become and actor, and just because there're a finite number of slots, the vast majority won't make it.

Not that I'm an expert at life or anything, but you make it sound as if it's Office Space cubicle hell v. acting. I'm sure there's a happy middle ground somewhere, something a little less rigid.

[personalegend]

hey---i am in the same boat as you (literally) because I am here in LA and am pursuing acting. Problem is, that my love lies in the theatre, so I am considering moving to NY since most of the theatre is pretty shitty here.

That aside, I graduated from a respected university as a theatre major and many of my talented and pretty friends are still struggling after two years to find an agent. It has become more difficult than ever before because you also must compete against those that have no training or experience but wake up one morning wanting to act. In this town, talent doesn't get you all that far either. It is a combo of talent, looks, type, and luck. Lots of luck. I am struggling like you, so I can;t give you an answer other than you need to find a job where you have more time to pursue what you want. Those 9-5 jobs are so tiring that you have little energy left to submit headshots, call agents, etc. I hate waitressing, so I once took a part-time non-profit job that was fulffilling and left me free time. But you have to be willing to accept the fact that it is going to pay less. Also, it takes way more than a few months. Our acting teachers always told us that we should be ready to give it at least two to three years in order to know that we fully tried our best.

hope that helps.....

[NayUCLA]

I would say...dont compromise ur dreams if u know thats what you want to do- bc ur lucky to even have an idea of what makes u happy

2ndly, id say that sometimes it takes us a little bit longer than we had anticipated to get our dreams rolling along. So.. if you really need to, id say try to get a job somewhere part tme to help u get by and then try to keep acting on the side. Im sure u can find something. Or.. you always have the option of taking a break for a year and just work hard core to save some cash and rough it out.

As for all the other concerns ...is totally typical to be 20something with all these random questions about life. lol. thats why were on this chat board in the first place. Hope that helped.

[Amy Marie]

After reading your email I would say to follow your dream. Now I think you should continue working your current job and slowly start paying off your debt. Do acting on the side for awhile until you can make it a full time career. Don't listen to what anyone else says b/c they don't have to live your life and with the consequences of your decision! Good Luck!

[multihyphenate]

hg5119, I completely envy you because you're out in the marketplace right now, trying to make a go of it, while i'm still in Massachusetts but not for long. I've been saving money and will be relocating to Chicago to pursue an acting career. Sure I'll be struggling but I'm hoping to work.

Having said that, I'm sure you know you're not the only one in despair. I've heard many, many stories and I have a friend out there now going on six years and not much to show for it except a few walk on appearances in some films, one TV appearance, and a major role in an unseen B-movie. He's despondent, angry, mad, all the feelings that you have, he has. He's working for a customer service center for a major concert venue and the stress of that job only gets him angrier.

I don't want to dictate how you should live your life, because hey, it's your life and you know what you have to do. The old adage: "you gotta do what you gotta do" applies here. Hell, my cousin who has a buttload of degrees including a FILM SCHOOL degree is an aspiring director working his other degree in the film industry. But it's not adding up to much for him which really sucks since he's a good guy. But like everyone else, he's not where he's at when he deserves to be.

There are so many easy answers but actually using them is a completely different thing. LA and NY are virtual meat markets and another actor friend of mine is a big success on TV, but he's had his share of struggles to get where he is (he came to NY). But the one thing I've noticed in many actors who have essentially made it big, is that they didn't stick to one job. Billy Bob Thornton sold pens and managed a pizzeria amongst many other jobs. Brad Pitt worked as a stripper's limo driver and a costumed bird who passed out flyers at a fast food restaurant. The stories are endless and the pursuit of the dream can fade each day and replace itself with anger, disillusionment, and worst of all: fear. I quit a job that paid so so because I want to pursue an acting career. It made absolutely no sense that I didn't save money but my sanity's important. I'm in a good place now and I'm trying to save what I can. I will be venturing out to LA to look around but truth of the matter is, I don't know if it's the right place to start just yet. I need to go further because if I live in LA, I will probably go insane.

But please don't let those seemingly unkind words faze you, the worst thing anyone can do is throw their plan out the window.

You gotta do what you gotta do.

[Winter Storm]

I don't think the original poster is on the board anymore.

[Lissa1979]

The whole entertainment industry is so ruthless and cuthroat. Everyone is trying to be the next big thing, make that million dollar deal, etc.

I work in the production end of it, and it sucks too. Lots of competition for jobs, many of them low-paying unless you become a video editor/animator genius/director.

I definitely think actors have it the worst though, since a lot of their work depends on whether they have the right "look," speech, charisma, or whatever the casting director/producer is looking for that day. Talent helps, but luck and connections have a part in it too.

[XJMP]

This is one more case where a poster came here and left without the members of this message board finding out what choices she finally made. It would be interesting to find out whether or not she kept her job she didn't enjoy; quite probably we will never find out.

Hg5119, if you do read this, I wish you the best of luck. (Please update us.)

XJMP