On the road to nowhere

[lynseymay]

Does anyone feel like they're on a road to nowhere? I feel so confused with my life I don't know which direction I'm heading. I can't seem to make any decisions whatsoever and the ones I do make I make for the wrong reasons and end up regretting it later. I feel completetly lost right now, that I've lost my way and my direction and I don't know how to find my way back. I feel depressed ALL the time and I can't seemt o get myself out of this funk and it's getting progressively worse each day. And in a lot of respects I feel very lonely. I have no family here I don't see my friends often and my b/f livesin Albany and when I do see him and talk to him we're always fighting. Does anyone else feel lost?

[GetMeOuttaDC]

ME! but I can offer no constructive advice on how to fix the problem.

hug for you though - PM me if you want.

[bigboom]

i think all of us here feel that way...for myself, im too lazy to take action on something and others jsut arent logical, but one of these days im gonna bite the bullet and just do something because i want to do it. forget logic and all rational thought...just do it

[lynseymay]

God I wish I could do that. I turned down a research assistantship to go to grad school in freakin' hawaii and then just turned down an opportunity to live in San Diego. For what??? Probably to make my b/f's life easier, sad to say. So now I feel like I"m back to square one no job potential, no grad school, potentially unsafe apartment and I'm running around in circles and I don't know what to do. I'm in therapy and have been for a while, but it's not helping and I dont' know what to do....all I do know is that I'm miserable, miserable all the time...sucks...and my supervisor is making my life even more miserable. At this point I'm just going to go home and drink myself into oblivion and pray that the Red Sox win :)

[wordsmith]

I just feel like I will never belong anywhere. I don't feel like a stranger, but nowhere where I am anymore feels like home. Everything feels temporary, like a stopgap between now and what's next.

[lynseymay]

Yes I feel the same way. I grew up in CA, spent 14 years there and it never really felt like home so I left and moved 3,000 miles away to Boston where I've been for 6 years and it still doesn't feel like home. All of my immediate family memebers have moved out of northern CA so now I really don't have a home.

[Tayl405]

You don't know how much I relate to you right now! I just graduated college, don't know where I want to be or what I want to do, but I'm seriously broke so I decided to move in with my parents in SC (I've been living in Philly). I HATE it more than I can explain (not because of my parents, but I hate SC), but every option I have available seems like the disadvantages outway the advantages. I'm not like that either, I usually have something in life I'm really excited about and happy about. I feel like I'm in limbo here right now (and I'm so jealous you got offered a position in Hawaii, because that's the main place I want to live!). Sooo....I've spent the night hammering down the wine and chocolate and trying to forget how much I hate the situation I'm in. Self-pity, I know....lol

On a serious note, I can't tell you lynsey, how much I feel the same way. It sucks.

[Phoenix]

Originally posted by wordsmith
I just feel like I will never belong anywhere. I don't feel like a stranger, but nowhere where I am anymore feels like home. Everything feels temporary, like a stopgap between now and what's next.

I wonder at what point we finally feel 'settled'? When we own a place of our own? When we stop moving from apt. to apt. or move away from home?

[Ztamala]

Here's a big ((((((((((((( )))))))))))) hug for you:razz:

[lynseymay]

That's an interesting question. I guess that's what I'm ultimately looking for, to feel settled, but I don't think that's possible. In fact, my sister even says I'm a nomad and I think in a lot of respects she's right. I don't feel comfortable anywhere and I don't know if I will. Maybe that'll change once I have a family, but as for right now...I'm still wandering.

[pisces2473]

But I think that's okay. Things are so topsy-turvy right now in life to begin with...so don't worry about not being settled.

[hopeless]

I know exactly how you feel lynseymay. I'm so lost in my life that it absolutely sucks. Things didn't turn out the way I wanted it to when I was in college. & after finishing college I feel as if I have no purpose here on this planet.

[lynseymay]

Aww I'm sorry hopeless :( I do understand how you feel in being completely lost. Just when I think I have things figured out, something happens in my life to completely mess things up and then I'm back to square one, which is where I am right now.

[Empressallie]

I lived in Spain for five months (jan - may of this year) and while i was there i though A LOT about the idea of home. For the past 3 years i have bumped around from Boston, to living with my grandparents, and then to SPain. Random trips home to NY included. I began to feel like i was living out of a suitcase and that my home was where my pillow was, even if it was a hostel room! It was a turbulent time for me for sure (yeah, the Madrid bombings 3 miles from my house certainly didnt help matters), but i think i grew a lot from my thoughts about "belonging". I don't when, or where, i will ever feel at home. ALl i want to do is leave the country again, for then at least i'll have an excuse for not feeling like i belong!
i think i'll just stick with being a nomad for now.

Oh by the way, LOVE the Mark Twain quote. SO damn true.

[Multiades]

Originally posted by wordsmith
I just feel like I will never belong anywhere. I don't feel like a stranger, but nowhere where I am anymore feels like home. Everything feels temporary, like a stopgap between now and what's next. Damn you hit the nail on the head -- very articulate.

-Chris

[Kristyn]

Ironically, my friend has this quote on her away message right now, so I have to share:

"You know that point in your life when you realize that the house that you grew up in isn't really your home anymore? All of a sudden even though you have some place where you can put your stuff that idea of home is gone."

"I still feel at home in my house."

"You'll see when you move out it just sort of happens one day and it's just gone. And you can never get it back. It's like you get homesick for a place that doesn't exist. I mean it's like this right of passage, you know. You won't have this feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself, you know, for your kids, for the family you start, it's like a cycle or something. I miss the idea of it. Maybe that's all family really is. A group of people who miss the same imaginary place."

I have no idea where she got this quote, but it seems to fit this thread perfectly.

Lyndsey, if you need a new apartment in/around Boston, I might be moving closer to the city soon and could use a roomie!

[AnnaBanana]

I can relate to what to you all are saying. I too feel lost at times, feel that everything is temporary. About a year ago I was laid off from a job that I absolutely loved (awesome coworkers, great atmosphere, fun job). It was my "first real job," so that made the lay off sting even more. I'm over it now, but I doubt that I'll ever forget the feeling. I had a lot of support, but it wasn't until I realized that it wasn't my fault that I was able to move on. Now I'm just trying to forge ahead and figure out what I want to do "when I grow up."

[personalegend]

Originally posted by Kristyn
Ironically, my friend has this quote on her away message right now, so I have to share:

"You know that point in your life when you realize that the house that you grew up in isn't really your home anymore? All of a sudden even though you have some place where you can put your stuff that idea of home is gone."

"I still feel at home in my house."

"You'll see when you move out it just sort of happens one day and it's just gone. And you can never get it back. It's like you get homesick for a place that doesn't exist. I mean it's like this right of passage, you know. You won't have this feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself, you know, for your kids, for the family you start, it's like a cycle or something. I miss the idea of it. Maybe that's all family really is. A group of people who miss the same imaginary place."

I have no idea where she got this quote, but it seems to fit this thread perfectly.

Lyndsey, if you need a new apartment in/around Boston, I might be moving closer to the city soon and could use a roomie!


This quote is from Zach Braff in "Garden State"....a must see movie for how we are all feeling.....