do you view some qlc members as friends? [Archive]

kitalyn414

11-09-2004, 07:13 PM

even though you have never met or even talked on the phone?

i was thinking about this as i was talking with an actual friend of mine and explaining a topic we were discussing on a thread here. the truth is, i know more about some of your lives, than i do about my "real" friends. our conversations on qlc.com are more open, honest, and in depth than most conversations i have with friends.

many of you give better advice and even seem to care more. in that respect, i guess that would qualify you as friends. however, it feels so weird to call someone i have never spoken to a friend. thoughts?

and1grad

11-09-2004, 07:28 PM

I do consider qlc members friends. But I have talked to a few on the phone and even met up with a couple. Even tho H-town punk'd me a while back with a fake lunch meet! :twisted:

Phoenix

11-09-2004, 07:33 PM

Yes, I definitely consider some QLC peeps friends. :cool:

maxwell78

11-09-2004, 07:36 PM

Yeah...i gots a couple. :D

MetFanL

11-09-2004, 07:38 PM

That's a tough one for me... I definitely share a great deal here -- similar to what I share with my friends. However, I've never met or chatted with anyone outside of this arena, so I'm hesitant to call it friendship... I don't know...

heatherf

11-09-2004, 07:40 PM

I completely do.

I have more friends on here than I do in real life...that is why I wish we all lived closer together, sigh.

I actually find it odd when people our age actually have friends to hang out with. I'm like- whoa, how did you do that?

And1-

I can't believe what I am about to say. "I am swamped with work right now".

wordsmith

11-09-2004, 07:40 PM

I had those same thoughts with the first online community I was really very active in...it felt strange at first to have people I've never met feel like friends, but it really wasn't unlike pen pals I had when I was little, in a way. You get to know one another through one another's written words. As a writer, that's appealing to me. I've got two online communities I participate in regularly, and one is a lot smaller than this (around 100 registered members). Within that group, which has been active for several years, lots and lots of us have met up in person, and people have gone from online friends to "real life" friends...it's awesome to get to be real friends with somebody, already going into it feeling like you've got a good start from what you know of their posting persona. Some people who have come to be very good, very real friends sprang from initial interactions on messageboards, which I couldn't have predicted when I idly started to surf the net one night back in 2000 or whenever. It's nontraditional, sure, but the friendships are real. Because of the format, there are online friends I "talk to" with more frequency than I do "real life" friends, so what's not real about that?

I've met Lily, lorion, and Jaumpy at our Chicago meet-up, and hope to meet other members as well. I know that there are many I consider to be true friends, whether I talk to them on the phone, communicate in IMs or e-mail, or just talk on the boards.

kitalyn414

11-09-2004, 07:51 PM

i guess i'm more on the same wavelength as met. i've never met up with anyone and i don't really have a personal relationship with anyone that extends beyond chatting via the boards, so i'm not really comfortable saying anyone is my "friend."

maxwell78

11-09-2004, 07:52 PM

kita-

Why don't you IM with people or something? It's a good way to get to know someone more indepth while still having the anonimity barrier if that's what you want. And if you feel comfortable, move on to the phone.

kitalyn414

11-09-2004, 07:54 PM

i have immed with a few people. i've also had a phone conversation. but i guess they are so sporadic and rare... that is hard to call it friendship.

and1grad

11-09-2004, 07:58 PM

Originally posted by heatherf
"I am swamped with work right now".

Does anybody else read this as "I have to do my hair?" :razz:

heatherf

11-09-2004, 08:01 PM

I'm totally offended by that!

My idea of "doing my hair" means that I turn the car heater on full blast on my way to work!!!!!!

:eek:

It's true!

Skyblade

11-09-2004, 08:06 PM

Hmm..I don't know. Sometimes I refer to people on here as "friends" in conversation. Like "one of my friends went through a similar situation." rather than saying "one of these people i know from an online messageboard went through a similar situation"

maxwell78

11-09-2004, 08:11 PM

Originally posted by Skyblade
Hmm..I don't know. Sometimes I refer to people on here as "friends" in conversation. Like "one of my friends went through a similar situation." rather than saying "one of these people i know from an online messageboard went through a similar situation"
But if you IM and talk on the phone with someone you met here, you'd think of them as a friend, right?

stonemonkey

11-09-2004, 10:14 PM

you guys are all my 'imaginary friends'. if there was a stairway leading to the basement of my mind where i could get advice or hide from the world in, then it would be QLC.com.

i'm not sure how i define friends and acquaintances. i think i only have real acquaintances. like the guys i did honours with this year. i could say goodbye to them, never see them again and it' be ok, like we'd never met.

bigboom

11-09-2004, 11:00 PM

hmmm i think i do...just because i havent met any of you doesnt mean that i dont care about you and isnt that what friends are about? i mean i pretty much in an indirect way talk to all of you daily...now if something were to happen to one of you that was bad id have feelings about that and i think that is enough to classify you guys as friends. i also want to believe that if i could help someone on here that i would try my best to do so...and again i think that is a quality of a friendship.

stonemonkey

11-09-2004, 11:03 PM

well define 'friendship' as opposed to 'acquaintance'

bigboom

11-09-2004, 11:31 PM

Originally posted by stonemonkey
well define 'friendship' as opposed to 'acquaintance'

i dont think i would go out of my way to help an acquaintance...

stonemonkey

11-09-2004, 11:35 PM

but what's "out of your way"? i've gone out of my way to give strangers directions.

WeirdBrake

11-09-2004, 11:36 PM

I definitely consider my QLC friendships to be genuine. Let's face it, internet message boards and other communication technology are changing the nature of social interaction. OK, so most of us haven't met each other in person. We still interact in genuinely social ways. We tell each other stories, we joke around, we get to know each other's personality quirks, we interact with each other on a regular basis, we care about each other..... aren't those the main ingredients for friendship?

bigboom

11-09-2004, 11:44 PM

Originally posted by WeirdBrake
I definitely consider my QLC friendships to be genuine. Let's face it, internet message boards and other communication technology are changing the nature of social interaction. OK, so most of us haven't met each other in person. We still interact in genuinely social ways. We tell each other stories, we joke around, we get to know each other's personality quirks, we interact with each other on a regular basis, we care about each other..... aren't those the main ingredients for friendship?

boo yah grandma :D

stonemonkey

11-09-2004, 11:44 PM

i think it's a different type. not better or worse, just different. i edit myself on here. i'm less inhibited on here (what with poop jokes etc. :)) i'm more open and honest abt myself on here than i ever am in 'reality'. and nuances too. i can't look any of you in the eye. i can't talk with my hands like i do in 'real life'.

but the main thing that's different is the component of 'shared experience'. i can go camping with ppl in 'real life', but unfortunately i can't do things with you guys. which is a shame cuz you'd be an awesome bunch of ppl to hang out with.

stonemonkey

11-09-2004, 11:46 PM

i count you guys all as friends, though, no question abt it.

WeirdBrake

11-09-2004, 11:46 PM

I feel a group hug comin' on....

WeirdBrake

11-09-2004, 11:58 PM

I just did some calculations. Even though this site has over 3,000 registered members, the top ten posters account for approximately one-third of the entire posts on QLC.

The top ten posters have at this point collectively written over 25,700 posts. There are currently over 78,000 posts in total.

Just thought I'd share this completely useless info with everyone.

stonemonkey

11-10-2004, 12:21 AM

my lifelong goal is to catch up to pisces

maxwell78

11-10-2004, 01:12 AM

I'm #25. I'm gonna smoke all y'all fools some day! :D

Eh, probably not...

winneythepooh7

11-10-2004, 06:36 AM

Everyone on here is nice and respectful and overall, extremely supportive. I would love to meet a lot of you. It seems like I have tons more in common with many of you then a lot of people in my "real life". I always know I can come here and vent about something trivial and not get run off the boards for it which says a lot right there.

tina1979

11-10-2004, 08:37 AM

I definately feel like you guys are friends. I get to dump my problems on you guys and you give me advice and opinion. You all have been very supportive in some ways more than my real life friends. I feel like I can give my opinion and advice to others if they have a problem and not get jumped on for it. Sure there is a squabble or two here or there, but *sniff, wipes tear from eye* we're just one big happy family.

wordsmith

11-10-2004, 09:30 AM

The nice thing about online communities is the variety and diversity that they offer...Most of us, due to our jobs or where we live, or life in general, have a relatively small circle of people who we regularly interact with. It's cliche, but the internet shrinks the world...I can regularly talk with my friends in Sacramento or Pittsburgh or New Haven with a consistency I don't even have with my friend who lives five blocks away, and is busy with her family and school load and whatnot. Having lots of acquaintances, and, yes, friends that originated online, it's changed and expanded my perspective on what makes a friendship a little bit.

shimmer728

11-10-2004, 11:39 AM

Originally posted by kitalyn414
i guess i'm more on the same wavelength as met. i've never met up with anyone and i don't really have a personal relationship with anyone that extends beyond chatting via the boards, so i'm not really comfortable saying anyone is my "friend."

This is pretty much how I feel, though I know that if some of you lived closer to me, we'd be good friends. I wish that were the case.

I've only met three QLCers in real life--one being the boyfriend, the other two being people I already knew. I hope some day to meet more of you. :)

and1grad

11-10-2004, 12:18 PM

I'm actually worried that should I meet some of you and actually say something funny, you might actually SAY lol rather than laugh. That would be unnerving.

Dub,
ANOTHER attempt at nerding up the thread!?!? You're killin me over here...KILLING ME!

cheshrcarol

11-10-2004, 12:57 PM

Kita, that's a good question. I never really thought about it. There are some people I im or pm occasionally, which I guess I would consider friends. But it's kind of weird to think you might be considering those people friends, while they think you're some random person on a message board.

This whole online community thing is new to me too. There was one person here who I was talking to on IM, and suddenly it occurred to me that I didn't know their real name.

shimmer728

11-10-2004, 12:58 PM

Originally posted by and1grad
I'm actually worried that should I meet some of you and actually say something funny, you might actually SAY lol rather than laugh. That would be unnerving.

Dub,
ANOTHER attempt at nerding up the thread!?!? You're killin me over here...KILLING ME!

Nerd alert here--sometimes when I think something is funny, I actually DO get the urge to say LOL. I just know it's going to slip out one of these days, and everyone's going to look at me like, "What the hell is wrong with her?"

diesel

11-10-2004, 01:09 PM

There was one person here who I was talking to on IM, and suddenly it occurred to me that I didn't know their real name.

Isn't that weird. Or even when you know their real name you think of them in terms of their screen name.

bigboom

11-10-2004, 01:43 PM

Originally posted by shimmer728

Nerd alert here--sometimes when I think something is funny, I actually DO get the urge to say LOL. I just know it's going to slip out one of these days, and everyone's going to look at me like, "What the hell is wrong with her?"

i say wtf all the time...probably because i am l33t hax0rz

shimmer728

11-10-2004, 10:38 PM

My sister and I say WTF to each other all the time.

and1grad

11-11-2004, 01:28 AM

Originally posted by cheshrcarol
There was one person here who I was talking to on IM, and suddenly it occurred to me that I didn't know their real name.

That IS weird. :neutral:

wordsmith

11-11-2004, 09:17 AM

Yeah...who would IM somebody and NOT tell them his name??? ;)

pisces2473

11-11-2004, 09:22 AM

Originally posted by heatherf
I'm totally offended by that!

My idea of "doing my hair" means that I turn the car heater on full blast on my way to work!!!!!!

:eek:

It's true!
I do that too! It works!

pisces2473

11-11-2004, 09:23 AM

Originally posted by stonemonkey
my lifelong goal is to catch up to pisces
Awww, keep 'em comin'! :D

pisces2473

11-11-2004, 09:25 AM

Originally posted by wordsmith
The nice thing about online communities is the variety and diversity that they offer...Most of us, due to our jobs or where we live, or life in general, have a relatively small circle of people who we regularly interact with. It's cliche, but the internet shrinks the world...I can regularly talk with my friends in Sacramento or Pittsburgh or New Haven with a consistency I don't even have with my friend who lives five blocks away, and is busy with her family and school load and whatnot. Having lots of acquaintances, and, yes, friends that originated online, it's changed and expanded my perspective on what makes a friendship a little bit.
True. I do talk to you guys more than I talk to my in-real-life friends, and that's because we're all at our computers all day. Kinda sad, but kinda nice...

pisces2473

11-11-2004, 09:28 AM

I see a lot of you as my friends and wished we lived closer.

And let me tell you guys something...I've met WB...if any of you do, don't TRY to go out to eat w/ him b/c the guy does not like Italian. What a weirdo.

cheshrcarol

11-11-2004, 09:29 AM

Originally posted by wordsmith
Yeah...who would IM somebody and NOT tell them his name??? ;) There's some strange people on this board. ;)

and1grad

11-11-2004, 09:52 AM

Ya there are. But why assume its a "he?" Words is always doing that type of stuff. :razz:

shimmer728

11-11-2004, 03:46 PM

Originally posted by pisces2473

And let me tell you guys something...I've met WB...if any of you do, don't TRY to go out to eat w/ him b/c the guy does not like Italian. What a weirdo.

I know--he's a freak. If I'm craving pasta on the weekends, I'm pretty much SOL because he won't go near an Italian restaurant.

pisces2473

11-11-2004, 03:49 PM

When WB and I were in DC w/ Abby, she's all "Where do you guys want to go for dinner?" all nice and everything...and I said, "I don't care, we had Chinese last night, so anything but that." Abby says, "Okay, how about Italian?" WB stops dead in his tracks in the middle of the sidewalk and says, "I HATE Italian. I'm using the word hate about Italian here." And Abby has this look of horror on her face and she says, "Ohhhhkay, so what kinds of food DO you like?" I'm standing there, thinking "Please God, don't have us go for something random."

Finally we decided on Southwestern/Tex-Mex and went to this kickass restaurant and met Ben, who will be Abby's husband VERY SOON.

WeirdBrake

11-11-2004, 03:56 PM

Who you callin' a freak, Allison? Your immediate family members are among the few people in America who don't like Asian food. :eek:

pisces2473

11-11-2004, 03:59 PM

Originally posted by WeirdBrake
Who you callin' a freak, Allison? Your immediate family members are among the few people in America who don't like Asian food. :eek:
Pssst, WB. Don't go pissing off the dad, YET. Wait til you've been dating awhile...

WeirdBrake

11-11-2004, 04:08 PM

Originally posted by pisces2473
When WB and I were in DC w/ Abby, she's all "Where do you guys want to go for dinner?" all nice and everything...and I said, "I don't care, we had Chinese last night, so anything but that." Abby says, "Okay, how about Italian?" WB stops dead in his tracks in the middle of the sidewalk and says, "I HATE Italian. I'm using the word hate about Italian here." And Abby has this look of horror on her face and she says, "Ohhhhkay, so what kinds of food DO you like?" I'm standing there, thinking "Please God, don't have us go for something random."

Finally we decided on Southwestern/Tex-Mex and went to this kickass restaurant and met Ben, who will be Abby's husband VERY SOON.

I hereby deny all allegations stated above, and I file a preliminary motion to dismiss based upon Jen's undue failure to address WB in the dignified manner befitting a true Jersey Mack Daddy.

natbumpo

11-11-2004, 04:08 PM

I have definitely opened up a lot more to people here because of the anonymity factor. I am generally an open person but there are certain things I definitely not open to talking about with people I see on a regular basis. For example, the whole Anti-Depressed string I started about going on anti-depressants - I got a ton of info from that posting and most for it I was really happy to get. That is nothing I would ever ask friends of mine, because if they are close friends and haven't told me, than they don't want me to know and I wouldn't ask acquaintances about it.

Thanks all - you're great

pisces2473

11-11-2004, 04:15 PM

Originally posted by WeirdBrake
I hereby deny all allegations stated above, and I file a preliminary motion to dismiss based upon Jen's undue failure to address WB in the dignified manner befitting a true Jersey Mack Daddy.
Ummmm yeah...b/c you so know you said that....it's all true, all true...

cheshrcarol

11-11-2004, 04:16 PM

Originally posted by WeirdBrake

I hereby deny all allegations stated above, and I file a preliminary motion to dismiss based upon Jen's undue failure to address WB in the dignified manner befitting a true Jersey Mack Daddy. Jen, I'd watch out. He's obviously delusional and has started to refer to himself in the third person :p .