procedure for reporting innapropriate boss behavior?

[myayla04]

maybe some of you would have advice on how to handle this situation.

I've been working in my current job as an admin assist at a college for the last three months, and it sucks... because my boss is so horrible. She is condescending, rude, unhelpful and plain mean. She snaps at those beneath her, especially the students, and is chit-chatty and friendly with her superiors. She gave me virtually no training, yet somehow expected that I already knew how to do much of the job (hello??). She accused me of not asking enough questions (when I was asking all the time)... then when I continued to ask questions she snapped at me for bugging her when she's "busy", even when I needed to ask her about an urgent matter. She's blamed me for jamming a copy machine (that was near 'death' anyway). She's incredibly insistent that she is right all the time and that she told me to do X or Y, when in fact she never even mentioned X or Y to me. She only gets more irate when I say "I'm sorry, you never mentioned X or Y to me... I don't know anything about that." She continues to insist that she told me! She is so awful. She makes me feel completely incompetent. Oh there are so many other issues too...

Since being here I have found out (NOT because I was asking around... people approched ME to ask 'how I was doing' etc) that the entire staff and student body, including most faculty, have heard bad rumors about her, students have complained to faculty, faculty have told students "we're sorry, we know she's horrible", staff have walked out of the job, crying or saying things like "I dont need this shit"... she's gone through about 15 assistants in the last 10-12 years. I myself have nearly walked out on several occasions. I heard lots of stories about her making students cry, and last week, I finally witnessed this... she was so ridiculously rude and unhelpful for no reason, and the student left in tears. She is completely inconsiderate.

I feel her behavior is totally out of line and inappropriate... and I am in total SHOCK that NO ONE has done anything about this in 10-12 years. I know that many students have had problems, but I have no idea if any formal letters of complaint have been submitted, or if any verbal complaints have reached the ears of the upper management.... I voiced my concerns to the director of HR, and that person was considerate, but I was basically told me "you can quit today if you don't like it." I have started writing a letter, because I feel that she is that out of line.... but I am a bit hesitant to actually submit it... I feel like I don't have much to lose (if it ever comes out that I was the person who submitted a letter) becuase I KNOW she wouldn't give me the time of day in a recommendation, and I will never ask her for one. Also, I'm going to quit this job soon because of the situation... so having only a few months in the job won't be the best for my resume, but I figure I can justify it because I'm still in school. I guess I am worried that my letter won't accomplish anything... why should I believe it will, if nothing has been done in 12 years? But it's like, if I'm leaving anyway... why do I really care... and everytime I sit down to work on the letter, I find it emotionally draining and so it's been hard for me to finish it. So why bother? But I just feel this is WRONG and somebody should know. Its frustrating because even though I have only been there a short time, its SO OBVIOUS that the community knows there is a major issue, but everybody talks about it in these hushed voices. Why?? I don't get it! What is accomplished by keeping this behavior a "secret" (that isn't even really a secret except from...who?) while it is affecting so many individuals? Maybe the President of the college is unaware? I don't understand...

Anyway... is anyone familiar with standard procedures for reporting innapropriate behavior? As I said I already spoke to the director of HR (confidentially). I'm not sure if I should send a copy of the letter to that person. I'm wondering if I should send a copy to the college president. Is a letter even the most appropriate or effective means of reporting this behavior? Also, I'm concerned about submitting this while I'm still employed. Should I wait until just after I quit? Thanks for any advice.

[maxwell78]

I've worked for somebody like this before. I would leave work everyday just drained mentally. I couldn't even think because she was so demanding. Nothing I could have ever done would have been right. And it wasn't for lack of trying either. I was the best employee she ever had and she knew it, but she kicked my ass everyday anyway. Just for the sport, I think. haha.

But sometimes you just have to walk away. It took me a long time to get to that point, but I'm glad I did. You could raise hell with a letter to the right people, but what is that going to get you? If you resign and send the letter, it's going to just be written off as the writings of a disgruntled former employee. If you send the letter while still working there, you might as well pack your stuff now. They either find a way to fire you or your boss makes your life more miserable than it is now. I would just start looking for new jobs and walk away.

[flyogagrl]

If your boss has tenure or something like that, there really is nothing a letter will accomplish. What you could do is when you go to resign, include a paragraph on her behavior and that it has helped solidify your reason for leaving.
What one chick did here (before my time) she thought someone was being innapropriate in the way he spoke to her, esp. behind closed doors, so she brought a tape recorder in. When she went to resign, she played the tape and said "thats why I am leaving".

[tina1979]

I've thought about this and I think I have to disagree. I think that writing a letter is ok. You never really know the power of a letter. Maybe even thought upper managment has heard "rumors" or HR has been approached "confidentially" they have never had enough "formal" complaints to warrant doing anything about it. Even if nothing is done at least you took a step in maybe making someone else's life a tad bit easier. I say write a letter and send it to her boss, or uppermanagment and HR. What harm is it gonna do? You've already said that you are going to leave because of her anyway. Atleast if she finds out that it was you, you can just look her in the face and say "yeah...and...." If she makes your life hell look at her and say "Oh! By the way i quit!"
If you write the letter or not I would definatly include it in that letter that although you appreciate the opportunity that was given, blah, blah, blah, the deciding factor in your resignation was due largely to the way "insert name" treats employees and students with no respect blah, blah, blah.

[Crimson King II]

I'm an employment lawyer. Here's the deal:

There is no legal protection for you, and the company does not have to do anything, if your boss is simply an extreme jerk. If they are mean, or do not like you, or they are rude, or they make you do unneccessary work..........TOUGH.


If you complain, they WILL find out. They WILL make it worse, and they can do so legally. I'd say in this instance, find a new job and keep your head down while you're still there.


If they are treating you badly because of race, gender, sex, your religion, or if you are disabled, then complain, complain repeatedly to the proper HR people, complain up the chain of command, and make all of your complaints indicate that you are being mistreated because of (race, gender, etc.).


Best of Luck!

[WeirdBrake]

In other words, find a new job and then, when you're ready to quit, tell your boss to her face, "Go f*ck your mother, you ugly, worthless bitch!" It's perfectly legal (as long as you don't threaten her with bodily harm or put her in reasonable fear of such bodily harm). Then walk out. There's nothing she'll be able to do about it. She can't fire someone who quit, and you don't need to worry about burnt bridges when the bridges have already been burnt beyond recognition. :)

[Sesamebabe]

If you are leaving and will never need a recommendation, I say you write a letter directly to to the woman (in the most professional manner of course naming very specific events with dates and times if you can remeber) letting this bitter woman know how her insensitivity, rudeness, etc. etc. is a serious problem, is the reason you left AND that she needs to work on her management style if she ever wants to keep future employees around. I would then give a copy to her with a note on it that says "A copy of this letter has also been sent to the Director of HR for your employment file." Even if nothing gets done, you may actually make the woman stop and think about her crappy attitude. I myself always like fighting for the little guy, so writing a letter to possibly help those after you I think is a noble deed - I think the lawyer who gave the advice prior is just perpetuating our "Cover my own ass" mentality which I think is killing our workplace environment.... Nasty people who manage others need to be made accountable at some point in their careers and I think at 12 years, this boss is wayyyy overdue...

[WeirdBrake]

I like Sesamebabe's idea better.

[cheshrcarol]

My best friend had this same problem. His boss was so mean to everyone and made unreasonable demands, but she was best friends with her immediate supervisor. The best thing you can do is to try and find another job, or talk to your boss's superior and HR again. I think most companies don't like to have employees on their hands that cause them to consistently lose workers (which is expensive). I know in my friend's case he ended up leaving and then his boss was fired.

[myayla04]

Hmm.. thanks for your suggestions guys!

Sesamebabe, that is an interesting idea I hadn't thought of... although I don't know that I have the guts to do that! Her nature is very insistent and stubborn and "I'm right and that's the end of the discussion" -- so I think she would probably NOT take what I said to heart and write it off as my faulty perception. Every time I have tried to get her to see something from my perspective, she interrupts me and keeps insisting, etc.

maxwell78 had a good point, that my letter might be written off as the complaints of a disgruntled former employee. I feel so torn.. on the one hand, walking away is, I guess, easier... but I do really feel that this needs to stop. I just wonder if it will do anything. I feel it's problematic also because she is almost always cordial and friendly with most staff, faculty and her superiors.. so although they MAY have heard rumors from students, they themselves have not been treated this way. And, sad to say it but there ARE alot of complainers (among the students) on this campus. Big senses of entitlement. So I could see how a faculty member who has not been treated rudely herself could write off the student complaints. So I'm not sure if I should even bother... I guess I am confused as to why more students haven't filed formal complaints? Maybe they have, and they're ended up in the trash can? I wish there was some way of knowing.

[SweetEm]

I'd say the best way to get back at any employer for being terrible is filing for unemployment (and qualifying of course) Make their taxes go up!!! (I suppose you have to be fired tho.) Or, you could say you left the job for something better, and you can still qualify.

If they contest it, definitly go to court. Woo HOO!

Another fun thing to do if you want to burn bridges, is just stop going to work. No, "I quit!" Just don't go. That's the passive resistive way.

Organize a protest against boss. It's a college after all!! That's definitly not passive resistive.