Sorry but....I'm NOT attracted to you

[tiredofphilly11]

So I met a guy off of Facebook and had been talking to him for the last 2 weeks. He is an absolute sweetheart BUT....until yesterday I had not seen a picture of him. Well...he finally sent one and ok, I'm sorry but i'm just 200% not attracted to him at all.

How do you tell someone you're simply not physically attracted to them w/o hurting their feelings?

Yes, physical appearance should mean nothing in the long run but hell i'm 22 and not looking to settle.

[Tayl405]

Ohhhh that sucks! lol

Do you want to continue talking to him or can you just phase it out?

[tiredofphilly11]

honestly...i just want to phase it out. in fact um i haven't spoken to him since he sent it, which i know is terribly bitchy but at this point of my life i'm more concerned about changing jobs/grad school than dealing wtih this. eee i know its terrible tho!

[Tayl405]

He'll get over it :)

[flyogagrl]

phase him out. talk to him like once or twice more and then let him loose.

[WeirdBrake]

Yes, phase him out, and yes, he'll get over it. You're not being bitchy, either. You can't help the fact that you're not attracted to him. Come on, if the situation were reversed and he was the one who wasn't attracted to you, don't you think he'd have the exact same reaction?

[bigboom]

to be honest with you i dont think he will care, thats one of the great things about internet relations there are no serious ties involved, if one day u decide to stop talking to him he'll get over it. im guilty of it and its also happened to me, sure ive got some nasty letter back but cest la vie...

[wordsmith]

What attracted you for the past two weeks?

[Tayl405]

Good question.

[tiredofphilly11]

He was very friendly and we shared many of the same beliefs. But hey thats what makes a good friend! I was hesitant to even chat with him in the first place because i had sworn i would never meet someone online again(met a great med student once who then became a total ass)...its just too unpredictable.

[gluegun]

Whatever you do don't flat out tell him that you aren't attracted to him. There is no reason to hurt his feelings. I agree with the others - just phase him out. Send him a few more e-mails then be done with it. I would hurry up and write to him fast though. I'm sure that he has caught on to the fact that you stopped writing him as soon as you saw his picture. I just don't want the poor guy to get a complex or something. Just write him once or twice more then tell him that you need to concentrate on school.

[kitalyn414]

Originally posted by tiredofphilly11
How do you tell someone you're simply not physically attracted to them w/o hurting their feelings?there is absolutely no way to do this. you need to think of some other reason to call the whole thing off. there's no benefit in twisting the knife.

[dazed]

i'm kinda in a similar situation. this thread helped me out. awesome! ;)

[rafflesj]

Physical attraction counts for a lot. This doesn't mean that the person needs to be "attractive" its jsut that you need to be attracted to them. I've met guys from online who were okay picture wise but seeing them in person didn't elicit any sparks. I'm sure some have felt the same about me!

Just wait for the one that knocks your socks off. And even better if he feels the same about you!

[littledancerus]

Are sparks completely necessary though? What if you meet 'em and you think they are cute, but maybe there's not sparks... but there could be sparks eventually. How important is sparkage? Hum...

[rafflesj]

I wish I knew the answer to that. I guess for now I'll just have to remember the adage of life's a journey, not a destination. Bonus points to those who can identify where that lyric comes from.