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View Full Version : how to flirt without being obvious



kitalyn414
12-01-2004, 01:02 PM
please share your tricks of the trade. ;)

Skyblade
12-01-2004, 01:03 PM
Make fun of the person you are trying to flirt with. Thats what I do...childish I know.

kitalyn414
12-01-2004, 01:11 PM
okay... good one. i do that too. what about if you don't really know the person or have all that much interaction with them?

and1grad
12-01-2004, 01:55 PM
WHAT!?!?! Women need help in NOT being obvious?

djs1977
12-01-2004, 01:58 PM
When I flirt with a girl, a light slap on the ass says, "hey, I'm just having fun."

and1grad
12-01-2004, 02:01 PM
LOL!

Actually, I took a page from WB's game plan (calculator watch days) and an old school song and say: Excuse me if I'd like to play...with your digital display.

kitalyn414
12-01-2004, 02:02 PM
okay... seriously here. how does one convey the message, "i MAY be interested in you?"

djs1977
12-01-2004, 02:05 PM
I've been told that if a girl touches you, she's interested.

But I also know in some parts of the country (like the South/Southeast) that's somewhat common anyway.

djs1977
12-01-2004, 02:06 PM
I think if a girl keeps talking to me, chances are she's trying to get to know me better.

This is all hypothetical of course.

Skyblade
12-01-2004, 02:07 PM
Originally posted by djs1977
I've been told that if a girl touches you, she's interested.

But I also know in some parts of the country (like the South/Southeast) that's somewhat common anyway.

No wonder why people don't think I'm interested!:eek:

kitalyn414
12-01-2004, 02:08 PM
gah! okay, so what if you can't really touch the person (it is a workplace thing).

maybe i should have been more specific in my original post?!? lol :D

djs1977
12-01-2004, 02:09 PM
Originally posted by kitalyn414
gah! okay, so what if you can't really touch the person (it is a workplace thing).

maybe i should have been more specific in my original post?!? lol :D

maybe touch yourself?

and1grad
12-01-2004, 02:12 PM
First off, LOL!

What kind of workplace thing is that?

Sinner, is this the guy you said you know is bad for you or something like that? It better not be.

LakeJay
12-01-2004, 02:13 PM
Flirting in the workplace can be difficult at first. If you have a rapport with the person already, work with it. As for me, I kind of know what limits I can take my flirting with specific co-workers because I know them and their "mindsets".

What you may want to do is to try to get a happy hour going with some other co-workers/friends and invite this guy to join. Obviously this will show you have interest in hanging out with him and getting to know him outside the workplace.

Skyblade
12-01-2004, 02:13 PM
accidentally bump into him?

LakeJay
12-01-2004, 02:14 PM
Originally posted by and1grad


Sinner, is this the guy you said you know is bad for you or something like that? It better not be.

I was thinking the same thing. I have a feeling it is...

bigboom
12-01-2004, 02:16 PM
"wanna boink?"


just to play the jerk part...are you sure a guy is what you need right now after the other issues? :)

lorion11
12-01-2004, 02:17 PM
What about smiling and longer "eye-contact" time...

I know that I'm friendly towards everyone but when I'm really interested in someone I tend to smile a lot more and maintain eye contact...

kitalyn414
12-01-2004, 02:18 PM
and1 - which one? LOL i can't keep track. i get boy crazy from time to time. however, i'm certain i have never talked about this person on here before.

the story is - i work in a legal department as an assistant & he is one of the attorneys. i have this vague suspicion that i make him really uncomfortable since everytime i go to say hello he acts all freaked out. or if we are in the kitchen together, he leaves very rapidly. anyway, at first i thought he hated me, but then i began to suspect that he has a secret crush. (i have a lot of down time here, so i spend much of it daydreaming about who i can crush on and who is crushing on me. i'm sure it is all in my head) he's really shy & super cute in that nerdy sort of way. plus i hear him when he's talking with "the guys" and he's really funny.

kitalyn414
12-01-2004, 02:19 PM
Originally posted by bigboom
"wanna boink?"


just to play the jerk part...are you sure a guy is what you need right now after the other issues? :) nice shoes. wanna fuck? :twisted:


and on the other thing, i'm sure it isn't. i'm actually not really planning on acting on this. this is just fodder for my imagination. :)

wordsmith
12-01-2004, 02:19 PM
I find that a smile for a person whenever I see him, and going out of my way to talk to him says a lot, even for the most slow-to-recognize guys.

lorion11
12-01-2004, 02:25 PM
I honestly think I am more flirty in relationships then when I'm just crushing or whatever... there are different kinds of flirtation though the "I think you're cute" kind and that "I wanna jump your bones" kind... that stupid "sexual frustration" thread has got me going... lol...

but seriously... if you think he's interested in you go for the smile approach.. make him more comfortable around you.. see how that goes..

bigboom
12-01-2004, 02:25 PM
Originally posted by kitalyn414
nice shoes. wanna fuck? :twisted:




why yes i do have nice shoes, and yes i would. :D :twisted:

*ahem* lets play war...i lie down and you blow the f&ck out of me

thats guaranteed to soilicit a response from whoever you direct it to!

kitalyn414
12-01-2004, 02:28 PM
Originally posted by lorion11
but seriously... if you think he's interested in you go for the smile approach.. make him more comfortable around you.. see how that goes.. honestly, it is almost like something from a movie. like i'll just say, "hi!" and he'll be all, "uhhh, ummm.. hello" and get all flustered and run away. bizarre.

wordsmith
12-01-2004, 02:30 PM
He's prob. just shy, Kita.

bigboom
12-01-2004, 02:33 PM
Originally posted by wordsmith
He's prob. just shy, Kita.

agreed...cuz i do the same thing when a girl i like gets in close proximity to me. dont ask me why...but i do

kitalyn414
12-01-2004, 02:33 PM
yeah... so what to do? :confused:

djs1977
12-01-2004, 02:35 PM
pin him down??
or lock the door so he can't escape?

ooh oooh!!

if you're in the elevator together, stop it!

maxwell78
12-01-2004, 02:35 PM
Originally posted by kitalyn414
honestly, it is almost like something from a movie. like i'll just say, "hi!" and he'll be all, "uhhh, ummm.. hello" and get all flustered and run away. bizarre.
He's into you. :D

This is total speculation but he might be concerned by the whole workplace/sexual harassment thing. Just playing it safe, maybe?

By the way, I'm the same way about being shy. ;)

kitalyn414
12-01-2004, 02:37 PM
Originally posted by djs1977
pin him down??
or lock the door so he can't escape?

ooh oooh!!

if you're in the elevator together, stop it! oh don't think for a second i haven't played those out in my mind. :twisted: :D :twisted:

bigboom
12-01-2004, 02:37 PM
Originally posted by kitalyn414
yeah... so what to do? :confused:

hypothetically if you were to really pursue this guy. he seems like an email type, send him an email :D

djs1977
12-01-2004, 02:37 PM
naughty naughty!!!

and1grad
12-01-2004, 02:39 PM
She IS the Queen Sinner.

Tayl405
12-01-2004, 02:42 PM
Eye contact!

bigboom
12-01-2004, 02:42 PM
we got another heartbreaker, chalk up Kita along with WS :)

kitalyn414
12-01-2004, 02:46 PM
i think it all can be traced back to the sexually frustrated thread. :twisted:

MetFanL
12-01-2004, 02:47 PM
LOL, kita... remind me why you can't just be obvious??

kitalyn414
12-01-2004, 02:49 PM
because i'm only obvious when i'm drunk. :p


i don't know. i'm not exactly sure he's interested. it may just be in my head.

bigboom
12-01-2004, 02:49 PM
Originally posted by MetFanL
LOL, kita... remind me why you can't just be obvious??

YES! more girls should be this way...

in fact if a girl is interested in you i think it should be her responsibiility to come say...i like you. :D

MetFanL
12-01-2004, 02:51 PM
kita, didn't you just say in the other thread that you're the one who does the approaching and it's been working? Maybe an e-mail in the vein of "is skirt off sick?" is the way to go... ;)

(of course, listening to me today could be harmful to your health. I'm an emotional wreck)

Tayl405
12-01-2004, 02:51 PM
in fact if a girl is interested in you i think it should be her responsibiility to come say...i like you.

Easier said than done!! :)

kitalyn414
12-01-2004, 02:51 PM
for a while i was thinking that i should just be like, "we should go out to dinner sometime." oh god! :redface: can you imagine?

i also had the idea of dropping a hint to his assistant.

bigboom
12-01-2004, 02:54 PM
Originally posted by kitalyn414
for a while i was thinking that i should just be like, "we should go out to dinner sometime." oh god! :redface: can you imagine?

i also had the idea of dropping a hint to his assistant.

DO NOT! involve the assistant...thats hwo you get office gossip.

maybe you should start with breakfast...as long as breakfast wasnt the end of the date. ;)

lorion11
12-01-2004, 02:57 PM
He probably is shy.. oh those shy guys..umm mmm... I've always had a secret thing for the shy, quiet, geeky, but hot guy... I think its adorable when they get all shy...

kitalyn414
12-01-2004, 02:58 PM
Originally posted by MetFanL
kita, didn't you just say in the other thread that you're the one who does the approaching and it's been working? Maybe an e-mail in the vein of "is skirt off sick?" is the way to go... ;)

(of course, listening to me today could be harmful to your health. I'm an emotional wreck) yeah... this is what i am saying. he's one of those "nice" guys, so i really don't forsee him approaching me at any point. if anything comes of this, it is going to be because i do the heavy lifting. i'm just more used to it in a bar/party setting where the point is to meet people. work is different.

the deparment xmas dinner is coming up. we'll see.

bigboom
12-01-2004, 02:59 PM
Originally posted by lorion11
He probably is shy.. oh those shy guys..umm mmm... I've always had a secret thing for the shy, quiet, geeky, but hot guy... I think its adorable when they get all shy...

he's a shy guy kinda guy, the kind that will always be mine!

Skyblade
12-01-2004, 04:35 PM
the deparment xmas dinner is coming up. we'll see.

Well, there ya go! Then you can get drunk and let the flirtation fly!

shimmer728
12-01-2004, 05:07 PM
Originally posted by and1grad
LOL!

Actually, I took a page from WB's game plan (calculator watch days) and an old school song and say: Excuse me if I'd like to play...with your digital display.

Ha ha! You could also make fun of her last name the very first time you meet, and then follow that up with a dorky comment about your own surname. :D

As for flirting......I don't think I've ever been very good at it. I don't got game or whatever. I am naturally very perky, however, and guys have often misread that as flirtiness when it's mere friendliness.

and1grad
12-01-2004, 05:16 PM
I always do the opposite. Misread the flirt with just being friendly.

kitalyn414
12-01-2004, 05:20 PM
see, my problem is that i am very sarcastic, which unfortunately comes off as bitchy.

bigboom
12-01-2004, 06:35 PM
Originally posted by kitalyn414
see, my problem is that i am very sarcastic, which unfortunately comes off as bitchy.


we've got a term for that...we being me an my friends, we call it a sarcastabitch, it applies to both sexes.

im a sarcastabitch as i employ sarcasm in all facets of communication and as such come across as a jerk. maybe you just need to really think about what you say to him to start until you get to know him then resume your sarcastabitch duties?

but then you coudl run into the problem where he hates the sarcasm then what?

so i say follow my way of the ninja and just be true to yourself. or way of the samurai as and1 so kindly put it :)

and1grad
12-01-2004, 07:17 PM
Sarcastabitch. I like that.

Lumburg
12-04-2004, 03:32 AM
When I see a girl I like, the first thing I do is make eye contact...

...and then I lick my lips in a slow, circular motion and squint my eyes.

This is a little number I like to call The Predator (tm).

You ladies should try it. The Predator is very versatile-- it's unisex and appropriate for almost any situation. It's very subtle too. Most times women can't even believe what they're seeing.

Desiderata
12-04-2004, 05:52 PM
Originally posted by Lumburg

This is a little number I like to call The Predator (tm).


LMAO!

nxn
12-07-2004, 08:39 AM
I think the wave and the smile from girls I dont already have some sort of relationship with show they are interested.

By taking the time out to just make that small contact when they dont know you, shows they are atleast a tiny bit interested and are comfortable with you. Even better when its among a big crowd such as a large place of work or club.

Confident but not cocky is also good, just remain calm is what I try to do, upon trying to establish a relationship in any form with a girl Im attracted to.