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Desiderata
01-13-2005, 02:29 PM
Alright, though things are fixed, this poor guy needs some cheering up, so let's make an effort...

how is a law prof at U of Pitt and a sperm different? a sperm has a 1 in 10 million chance of becoming human :D

WeirdBrake
01-13-2005, 02:30 PM
Thanks, man. LOL :D

maxwell78
01-13-2005, 02:32 PM
How many law professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one to hold it up. Then, the whole world begins revolving around it.

Lame, I know. :D

Irish79
01-13-2005, 02:33 PM
Did you guys here about the people who were arrested for telling lawyer jokes?

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6818054/?GT1=6065

Better watch out... :D

WeirdBrake
01-13-2005, 02:35 PM
But those are lawyer jokes! Law profs, on the other hand, are fair game.

Game on!

J-girl
01-13-2005, 02:38 PM
Originally posted by Irish79
Did you guys here about the people who were arrested for telling lawyer jokes?

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6818054/?GT1=6065

Better watch out... :D

WHAT?!?!? Thats like anti-dentite jokes!

maxwell78
01-13-2005, 02:40 PM
You anti-dentite bastard. :neutral:

:D

WeirdBrake
01-13-2005, 02:41 PM
You mean like what do you call someone who flunked out of med school... answer: a dentist? Like those kinds of jokes? lol

Irish79
01-13-2005, 02:45 PM
Originally posted by WeirdBrake
But those are lawyer jokes! Law profs, on the other hand, are fair game.

Game on!

my mistake - carry on! :D

maxwell78
01-13-2005, 02:45 PM
What's the difference between a denist and a sadist? Newer magazines. :D

Yeah, I'm a degenerate Seinfeld addict...yet somehow manage to miss references to the show. :D

WeirdBrake
01-13-2005, 02:52 PM
What's the difference between going to the dentist and going to law school?

Almost 3 years.

Desiderata
01-13-2005, 02:56 PM
Originally posted by maxwell78
You anti-dentite bastard. :neutral:

:D

we can all just switch careers and become dentists for the jokes ;)

and1grad
01-13-2005, 03:08 PM
"The jerk store called, they're running out of you!" :neutral:

maxwell78
01-13-2005, 03:27 PM
Originally posted by Desiderata

we can all just switch careers and become dentists for the jokes ;)
"And that offends you as a Jewish person?"

"No! It offends me as a comedian!"

This portion of the Seinfeld quote-off brought to you by Vandelay Industries

SAY VANDELAY! SAY VANDELAY!

WeirdBrake
01-13-2005, 03:38 PM
"I think you're both mentally ill." :p

and1grad
01-13-2005, 03:48 PM
George: "Where did you get those socks?!"

Jerry: "I dunno..."

George: "I think those are *my* socks!"

Jerry: "How are these *your* socks?"

George: "I dunno, but those are *my* socks! I had a pair just like that with the blue stripe and now I don't *have* them anymore!"

Jerry: "Oh yeah, that's right, you fell asleep one day on the sofa and I took them off your stinkin' feet, they looked so good to me, I just had to have 'em!!!

George: "Yeah, well, they're *MY SOCKS*!"

Jerry: "They're my socks!!!"

maxwell78
01-13-2005, 03:50 PM
This one might apply to our friend WB... :twisted:

"You really need some help. A regular psychiatrist couldn't even help you. You need to go to, like, Vienna or something. You know what I mean? You need to get involved at the university level, like where Freud studied, and have all those people looking at you and checking up on you. That's the kind of help you need. Not the once-a-week for eighty bucks, no. You need a team. A team of psychiatrists working around the clock, thinking about you, having conferences, observing you like the way they did with the elephant man. That's what I'm talking about, because that's the only way you're going to get better."

WeirdBrake
01-13-2005, 03:52 PM
"She has a taint! I can't see it, but it's there!"

"So now you're finding faults on a subatomic level."

and1grad
01-13-2005, 04:26 PM
"Well, behind every joke there's some truth."

"What about that Bavarian cream pie joke I told you? There's no truth to that. Nobody with a terminal illness goes from the United States to Europe for a piece of Bavarian cream pie and then when they get there and they don't have it he says, 'Ah, I'll just have some coffee.' There's no truth to that."