So mad at my mother and father

[artbabe]

me: i'm thinking of applying for a post-grad animation program....

mom: well...we'll see what happens!

me: oh i see...you have reservations about that...let me rebegin my conversation so you have no problem with it (in a monotone voice) "i think this december i'll apply to teacher's college."

mom: (in a bitchy tone) listen, i just want you to do something you can afford to pay back, that's all.

look, it's a bright an sunny day (in a fake cheerful tone).

me: that was soo fake.

mom: you're obviously looking to bitch at someone about something..(and storms off to another room)

leaving me thinking why can't i just talk to her about why she and dad are not ALLOWING me to go out west this summer. no amount of sun in this city will tear away the horror of another summer spent here. i need to leave the province...this whole thing makes me want to throw things. i hate them. i hat them i hate them for tying me down.

what do i do?

[paiger81]

From what I see, you jumped on your mom.

[midtwenty]

My mom would have slapped my face for saying things like that to her. Hell, she still might and I'm 27 years old. I'm with paiger...sounds like you went into that with your claws already out.

[orky13]

first, apologize to your mom, whether you think it's fair or not. Then ask her candidly about her opinions, and vow to yourself to stay calm and listen to her. Then explain to her calmly how you feel and what your desires are. I've had many similar discussions with my parents, where they are just trying to be thoughtful and safe, and I am viewing them as what is standing between me and happiness. Write out a list of values or goals so you can indicate where you both differ in an impartial way that doesn't seem like you are attacking them or their thoughts.

[artbabe]

You're all right i was mean to my mom...

[GetMeOuttaDC]

You're all right i was mean to my mom...

well, then apologize to her and hear her out... I am sure she has your best interests in mind, even if she has a strange way of reacting. that quick-change on the subject that she did is somehthing my own mom does when she is uncomfortable with the topic at hand (ie, she is unsure the correct advice to give)

[cornflakegirl]

artbabe - i am the same way with my mom. i anticipate her response & start getting defensive when there is no reason to. i agree that from this conversation it seems like you were jumping on your mom; however, there is always a history of other conversations & whatnot that would explain your attitude, i'm sure. try to be patient with your mom & listen. think, before you speak. i am learning to do this since i moved back home (not very well).

how is it that your parents can restrict your going out west? are they paying for it?