Am I Being Unreasonable About This Work Situation (long)

[Cat Mandu]

I would appreciate if you could just be totally honest with me. Maybe I'm a spoiled brat, and this will serve me as a wake up call.

A little background: I don't have a car. Yes, I'm one of those weirdos. I don't want to deal with the mega cost of gas, insurance, repairs etc. for now. One day probably. I take the bus to work. Wait, make that 2 buses. I am completely at the mercy of the bus drivers, I don't control when they show up, I don't control the traffic jams, the weather, etc. It saves me a lot of money, but it takes me twice as long to get to places.

So the office is moving to a new place next week. This place is going to be a communte of 1.5 hours (vs. the 40 minutes I have now) one way for me, 3 hours every day.

I had my review the other day. I've been here for 4 years, they know me pretty well. They know very well what this move is going to do to me commute wise. I also view it as a quality of life issue (since I'm going to spend so much more time on the road). I didn't get any raise whatsoever during this review, except the obligatory increase of cost of living, a measly 2%. I am very very angry about this, because all the others are going to get compensated for mileage, while I will have to take 2 bus services and my monthly travel expenses are going to almost double because of the move. I thought it was very unfair on their part, cause workwise I'ma good employee and they know it, and I think I deserve a raise.

And then they dropped the bomb. I used to be late for work every morning, so they decided that when I come to work, I would e-mail my boss when I arrived, so that they could check if I'm late or not. Kind of like a clocking in type of thing. I'm fine with that. But today I got a very hard conversation with my supervisor, because I was late 15 minutes a few days because of the snow storms and blizzards. Apparently, I am not allowed to be late anymore, not matter what the circumstances are, no matter how many buses I take, no matter what the weather is like. I tried to explain that I'm doing the best I can, but he was not understanding at all, saying that everyone else is in the office on time (not true at all, I know), patting himself on the back because he gets up early enough in the morning (now he was implying I was lazy). He just forgot to mention that he has a car! and drives on the highway and doesn't have to go on busy city streets on the bus like me! I am just shocked by the lack of empathy. It's going to be worse for me now that the office is moving to the other side of the city.

I can't take this anymore! I just can't believe it. I had worked there for 4 years, and I had never been treated like this. All of a sudden they started being mean to me, that I almost feel like they want me to quit.

Do they really think I'm going to travel 3 hours every day for a receptionsit job, where's there's zero room for advancement, where they don't give me any raises, and I'm supposed to kiss their fucking sorry asses?!

I plan on quitting in September anyways (god, I already typed the letter, it's sitting in my drawer), but I need help. Please give me advice on 1) am I being unreasonable? 2) how do I survive the 7 months between now and September?

All I want to do is come in the morning, not talk to anyone, do my work and go home. I'm a very social person, but after 4 years, I'm ready to move on completely. I am just so shocked that all of a sudden from a laid back office, they turned overnight into the bosses from hell. I am very angry, because I feel like there's noone watching my back in the office, and that nobody cares about me and my well being. They pride themselves on treatng everybody equally, and they're very buddy buddy with me during working hours (joking, having lunch together, etc.), but when push comes to shove, they treat me like I'm a nobody. I feel like I was blind all along. Maybe it was always like this, and I just didn't see it.

Most of all I'm petrified that it will always be like this. I am dying to be the boss one day, so I could treat people the right way. I don't know how to do that. All the managers in the office do as they please, while I take the shit. Do you think it's because I'm the receptionist, or is it a personality issue? I'm scared to always be treated like I'm the "help". I feel like I have no one to talk to in the office. I'm quite upset. I cried in the office the other day, and people saw me, but thankfully I was able to come up with an excuse. I just don't want to deal with those shitheads anymore.

[shinyleaf]

I don't think you're a spoiled brat at ALL! I can't believe your company is punishing you for doing something that's environmentally proactive like taking public transit instead of driving a gas guzzling car 3 hours a day! It sounds like your quality of life is really going to suffer, with or without the move, just because they are assholes. Do you know of any municipal movement or initiative that encourages workers to use city transit? I know they're doing that here. It would be nice to leave your job and "out" the company as discouraging workers from using public transit... paint them as selfish capitalist bastards. No canadian company worth it's salt wants to be portrayed like that! Or at least you could let public transit know that this is the type of attitude they're up against when it's suggested for people to take the bus.
Any chance you can carpool? Oh yeah, all your coworkers suck.

[WeirdBrake]

I think there are two separate issues here. The first is the commute. Yeah, 1.5 hours is probably a dealbreaker, and the fact that they're not even compensating you for it is ridiculous. You're not being unreasonable about that at all, in my opinion.

Second issue is the lateness. Sorry, but you're probably being a little spoiled on that one. There's no excuse for repeated lateness. Buses run unpredictably? Take an earlier bus. Get there early everyday, and plan to spend 15 minutes to a half hour killing time at a cafe or something. If you always err on the side of earliness, no blizzard, bad weather, or late-running bus will make you late. The reason your boss is hounding you about the lateness is that it looks to everyone else like you're "getting away" with coming in late, and your boss is probably trying to avoid a Jeannie Bueller reaction from the other employees ("Why should she get to be late without consequence when everyone else has to get there on time?").

In either case, it doesn't sound like it was the right fit for you, so you're probably doing the right thing in moving on. 1.5 hour commute for a receptionist job? Ouch.

[Cat Mandu]

Any chance you can carpool? Oh yeah, all your coworkers suck.

Oh, I tried to get a carpool going. I did everything except beg. I offered to take up costs of gas. I said I'll meet them at whatever point they'd like. They didn't bite. I am really disappointed, because I know where they live and I think that if they really wanted to help me out, they would. I'm just shocked at the level of egotism I had experienced for the last couple of months. We've been talking about the move for a while now, they ALL know how hard it's going to be for me. You know what the best part is? Some of them actually said "what's the problem, just buy a car!" Like... what?! They don't pay me enough to buy a car!! I don't want to buy a car!! Why do you force me to buy one? It's not easy buying one when you make less than 35,000$ a year. Shitheads. What a nice way to make me feel any better.

And you want to hear something even better? I don't work for a company. I work for a hospital. You got it, funded by the Mnistry of Health.

Wait, it gets better. When I expressed to my other supervisor my displeasure with me not getting a raise, he said "well, I don't get a raise either and I have a salary cap". He doesn't know that I know he makes at least 60,000$ a year. And I'm supposed to feel sorry for him. Also, apparently we're having budget deficits, and we're all being asked to tighten out belts. Fine with me, but can they please explain to me how they found the money to hire a "consultant", and send 5 people (!!) to a medical conference in Dallas?

I swear, they must think everybody in the office is stupid. I'm starting to think there's some kind of corruption going on.

I know why they're being hard on me being late and I see some of their points, but I still don't think that asking for a little understanding during the remaining winter months is too much to ask. I had never abused any privilage given to me, so I think I deserve a bit of empathy from my employers. I'm already taking earlier buses. Sometimes it works and I'm on time, sometimes it doesn't. Mind you, I'm not late for 30 minutes every time. I'm only late 10 minutes or so, but even that is too much for them. I can't tell the future, and know when it's going to snow in the morning or not. All I want to know is why I have to be on time, when we have a secretary here who has 2 kids and is never on time, because they're sick or the babysitter is late, how is she different than me? It looks like I'm the only one NOT getting away with it.

[shinyleaf]

you work for a hospital? Are you a union member? If you are, maybe they can inform you of your rights. Going extra early is totally not worth your effort if they aren't even going recognize your consideration. Which they aren't - they won't even try and help you out by carpooling. Leave and burn the bridge. I'm all about burning the bridges. particularly if you have nothing to lose.

[Cat Mandu]

Are you a union member

Sadly, I'm not.

The thing that kills me the most is how everyone thinks it's the greatest place in the world to work at, "Oh, we're all buddies, we're all friends, look how much we care for you". It's like the rest of them are brainwashed, cause I certainly don't think so. I actually think there's a lot of politics going on behind the scenes. It's just never been so obvious before.

[winneythepooh7]

You wanted honesty, so here goes. If I was your supervisor, or even just a co-worker, and you were coming in late all the time, I would eventually say something too. Being lenient in the beginning is one thing, but all the time is another.

As for the commute, I understand your wanting to leave, and it is a wise choice. A main trend I've noticed in my workplace is the people that are usually the first to quit are the mega-commuters.

When you are coming to a stressful place of work to begin with, and have to add on a large-commute, it makes the work situation that much worse. If I were you I'd speed up your process of looking for a new job. I'd quit before you get fired, because if your boss has you under a microscope like that, I am sure the thought has definately crossed their minds.

Sorry if this sounds negative, but I am being honest, like you asked for.......

[Cat Mandu]

Sorry if this sounds negative, but I am being honest, like you asked for.......

It's ok, I appreciate it. Your thoughts have crossed my mind as well, but it's good to hear from other people as well.

They would do me a favour if thet fire me. I could collect unemployment and stay home! haha. I can allow myself to be a rebel, cause I still live at home and have no bills to pay. The only thing would be the humiliation, but maybe it's worth it.

[winneythepooh7]

Hey Cat. I am glad I didn't offend you then!! It is refreshing when people can take constructive criticism LOL. Anyways, if you are feeling the way you do, I would just quit. I think you will feel better about your decision in the long run. I work with several people who complain all day, don't do their job, do sketchy things on the job, and say they wanna quit but do not. I think they would be doing themselves and their co-workers a huge favor if they just went ahead and quit.

[wordsmith]

On one hand, if you accepted the job, you agreed to be there on time...whatever that takes. I might be in the minority, but I don't think anyone needs to compensate you financially because you choose to not drive, and are dependent upon public transportation. I've been in your position, too, and when you are dependent on public transportation, you willingly make the tradeoff to something that's kinda going to suck for you, schedule-wise...like WB said, early mornings, etc. are part of that tradeoff.

I've got a coworker who very seldom covers evening or weekend events (we work for a newspaper). Why? Because she lives out of town, and I live in town, so it's "so much more convenient" for me to just do it all. It's not remotely fair that I get pressured into working more than she does, simply because she made the choice to take this job, and didn't choose to live locally. Because she made a choice that's not convenient to following her job description, she gets off lightly, in my opinion, and others, not afforded the same flexibility, have to pick up the slack. I can see how it's a problem for the coworkers who do come in on time, if you are consistently late...I don't see how your boss could avoid making an issue of it, really. When coworkers aren't held to the same basic standards, it causes problems.

However, it would have to be some phenomenally gratifying job to make it worth 3 hours on the road to and from each day, to me, and it sounds like it definitely is not. It does suck that your workplace is moving, and making it more difficult for you to get to work.

[coll214]

Coming from an equally perpetually late person- i sympathize. I've had to do the emails, call if i'm more than 5 minutes late, had the 'talk' repeatedly... and my supervisor is half the time later than me!! Around here though fortunately lateness isn't something they can just fire you for. thank god! My situation is the reverse, I just moved farther away from work and they I think sort of blame me for it; 'scuse me for moving where i could afford. Oh and when I lived closer, I was even later. But all in all, that aspect is all you. Though I do think they should take into account the weather on some occasions... schools get delays don't they? As for the raise, do you think that could be partly tied to your lateness? i've heard of companies doing that before, 'punishing' employees by not getting their full raises... Lord knows i didn't get my full one this year for a lameass reason (I had one report that my SUPERVISOR didn't forward onto the bus. mgr and this was my fault; it happened right around raise time).

As for the 1.5 commute, that is quite frankly insane! And i'd be upset too if no one was willing to help out at all. do you think any of your coworkers would maybe just give you a partway ride in the morning and then you could take the bus home? Maybe they think they'd then be obligated to give you a ride everyday...

[blacksheep]

Ok..here's some honesty--please don't be offended...but...though the commute is long it really isn't an excuse for being late. You can wake up even earlier and take earlier buses.

I guess it depends where you live and how reliable the buses are. But if you aim to get there 15 or 30 minutes before your shift, you most likely won't be late. And you can either start work early, and maybe leave early or take a longer lunch or something.

[paiger81]

Cat-
It was your choice to not own a vehicle, so why would you expect them to be concerned with your commute. You made that choice. Also, I find it completely unreasonable to be annoyed that they want you to be at work on time.

[Radgirl]

Cat, tell them to take that job and shove it so far up their a** that they can't see straight. If that's how they are going to treat you, then time to say BYE!

[biodork]

At my job there's compensation for commuting to work on public transportation (although it is the federal gov't). If you choose not to have a parking permit, then you can get metro passes so you don't have to pay for it. They reward using public transportation rather than commuting on your own. Plus it helps them cut down on parking at the main campus (although this doesn't work for me either way, i don't work on main campus AND i would still need a ride from the metro to my building lol) But still i would think they would be more lenient to people who use public transportation, it just makes more sense to me.

[paiger81]

I think it depends on where you live. Down here, the bus is pretty much used by low income families......and shady characters. A friend & I tried it once, and it scared the shit out of us. Something about being asked if I wanted some crack scared me off.

[laelialudisia]

I am very very angry about this, because all the others are going to get compensated for mileage, while I will have to take 2 bus services and my monthly travel expenses are going to almost double because of the move.



this is the part i don't understand - so the hospital IS reimbursing your "car owning" coworkers mileage for the difference in distance but they are NOT offering to reimberse you for your extra expenses riding the bus, is that correct? if that is the case that is INSANE!!!!!! :evil:

is there any sort of law about discrimination against those who utilize public transportation vs. cars? partly joking but also partly serious.

second issue, you should NEVER be late to work unless it is an emergency. i think they definitely have the right to come down hard on you for that. they probably aren't saying anything to the mother of 2 b/c they are worried about discrimination, which may work in your favor if there really is a legitimate discrimiation issue over you not being offerred the same reimbursement courtesy as your coworkers.

[WeirdBrake]

is there any sort of law about discrimination against those who utilize public transportation vs. cars?

Simple answer? No, there isn't.

[jrwilheim]

Okay, as a New Yorker who relies on public transportation to get everywhere, I somewhat sympathize with Cat. I know what it's like to be late to work because of issues with trains and busses; been there, done that too many times. But on the other hand, Cat, if you're not living in an area where relying on public transportation is a necessity (such as New York), it's your choice not to own a car and to accept the hassles and longer commute that entailed. Your employer should not have to put up with you constantly being late because of these transportation issues. Now, in New York, most people take the bus or subway in to work, so people are usually aware, or at least sympathetic, when service disruptions make it harder to get in (I remember an e-mail going around a few months ago, when a bad rainstorm and consequent flooding in the Outer Boroughs caused havoc all over the subway system, saying that no one would be penalized for arriving late and thanking everyone for getting in at all). I can't always control whether my subway line(which has notoriously poor service) will show up in a reasonable amount of time each morning, but I do my best to get a train that will get me to work on time. But I can control when I get up and make a reasonable effort. In your case, I would say you either a) aren't making a reasonable effort to get in on time by not getting up in time for an earlier bus or b) aren't making a reasonable effort by refusing to buy any kind of car. You could always buy some old clunker and keep it for the couple of years until it breaks down, by which time you'll probably be earning more money and/or have a different job. Perhaps a relative is about to buy a new car and is willing to sell you his or her old one for a low price. Look into this.

Another alternative, available in some areas, are car-sharing arrangements where you rent by the hour you use the car. This would save you a lot of the hassles of car ownership but might make it easier for you to get to and from work on time.

For six months after graduation, I lived home with my folks in Wichita, KS, where the local bus came literally every half hour (I'm NOT kidding....service was that bad). I too believe in taking public transportation whenever it's possible, but I'd say that, faced with a 1 1/2 hour commute, you need to recognize that in your case, it's really not. I would not put up with that long a commute just to avoid owning a car.

[and1grad]

A couple things...

Why would you get re-imbursed for mileage when you take the bus?

I bought my first car while making ~35K. Why isnt that enough?

Was there an actual reason why you didnt get a raise? Bad review? Anything?

The other posters are right. Being consistently late will normally get you in trouble. I think what you should do is make the effort to come in on-time for at least a month and see if the job atmosphere stays the same. Also, I would look into getting a car, or moving, if you plan to keep this job.

[paiger81]

Was there an actual reason why you didnt get a raise? Bad review? Anything?

The other posters are right. Being consistently late will normally get you in trouble. I think what you should do is make the effort to come in on-time for at least a month and see if the job atmosphere stays the same. Also, I would look into getting a car, or moving, if you plan to keep this job.

I think you answered your own question. I'm pretty sure the chronic lateness would be a raise killer.

[and1grad]

Not always.

[SunDevil]

They might have some weird laws up there in Canada, WB.

And I would assume it is $35,000 CAN, not US, but by living at home saves a lot of money. But is it worth having a 3 hour commute everyday, plus paying 75 canadian cents per liter for gas? It would probably take ~16 liters a day. Everybody has to make that decision for themselves. Rent vs. Car and gas payments vs. 3 hour commutes plus having to catch the bus.

Some jobs you can be late for, like mine. But if you are taking over for someone else or customers expect you to be there on-time, that is another story. I wish people were more relaxed about time. The world isn't going to end if you are 15 minutes late.

[blacksheep]

we DO NOT have 'weird' laws here in Canada...:P...not any weirder than yours anyways.

Generally it takes about an hour to an hour and a half to get anywhere in Toronto--kinda sucks but u get used to it. You can drive to a place in 5 min, but it'll take you about 30 min if you take the bus because of waiting for buses and the transfering buses. Our subway is fast--but it is not that extensive, and you have to rely on buses a lot. Most people I know who take public transit to work, including me, commute atleast 2.5 hours a day to get to work. And gas is like 80 cents now :(. My sister moved out with less than $35K and she has a car. So by making 35K and living at home, you should be able to get a decent car.

[funky flamingo]

Weird laws? Like what? LOL

Transit isn't an excuse to be late on a regular basis, unfortunately. I've been trapped by the bus and subway schedule (breakdowns, trains getting stuck in the tunnel, all of that), so I do sympathize. But your employer pays you to get there on time, so it's your responsibility to get there for the beginning of your shift.

A snowstorm or huge traffic accident or something can be an exception. I'd suggest calling before you leave on a "snow day" to advise that you may be late due to the snow, but you are leaving EARLIER to try and get there on time. And make sure you check the weather before you go to bed so you are prepared to get up earlier.

Have you talked to your employer about changing your starting time? Explain that you are unable to get there on time, and you WANT to be on time, so perhaps the two of you can work out an agreement to start 15 min later or something.

But you sound unhappy in your job. Is the commute going to be worth it when they move? Are you guaranteed to find a new job if you do quit? remember, your new employer will be contacting the hospital for a reference. Try and talk it out before quitting in a huff, or getting fired. A job is a job, and it beats the alternative.

(note: commuting for an hour and a half each way is normal in a lot of places. You may not find a lot of sympathy from your employers if that is an issue).

Sorry, I'm not trying to dump on you. Your situation is lousy. Hope it works out for you.