Saying ILU

[Skyblade]

What is the soonest in a relationship that you've ever said those 3 words, "I love you" ?

I just realized that in the 3 relationships I've had in my life, they've all said it in a little less than a month. Is this normal? abnormal? I don't know...maybe I'm just THAT irresistible.

[inuts]

Maybe you are just that irresistable! :D

This will sound crazy, but with my SO I think it was two weeks. We just knew.

[Tayl405]

I've jumped the gun and said it, and realized later it was a big mistake because I didn't mean it. Done it more than once. Oops.

[shimmer728]

Personally, I'd be freaked out if a guy said it really quickly like that. Only one guy has ever said those words and it was after two months or so. ;)

[stonemonkey]

Not that I've ever actually been 'in love' with anyone, but I think I'm the type of person who'd let them know pretty soon after I realise that it's true. I know that's probably not the smartest move, because it doesn't take into account whether she'd be receptive of it or whether the conditions are right. I guess it's one of those 'rules' (eg. wait 3 days before you call) that I don't really follow.

So yeah, I do tend to freak girls out by being like that.

[kimmer23]

Some people, though, just don't live in reality. They live in a fantasy world, and then they try to make reality match their imagination. They are in love with the idea of being in love, so they're quick to convince themselves that they love somebody when in reality, they're only in love with their imagination. You can spot these people easily. They are the people who have been in love several times, with just about everybody they've gotten involved with. Each time they fall in love, they say the same thing. "I've never felt like this about anybody else before."

i totally agree eph. i have a friend that is ALWAYS in love. her relationships usually last about a month too. she also is always in a little "fantasy" world and never quite sees reality.

[Pieker]

Oh well, what is too soon? Ok, I've been in love also for millions of times (still not the freaky controlling type I guess), had 4 serious relation ships until now but every time I said it, I meant it. And it's not because you end a relation ship, that you hate the guy. You can end it because the 2 characters don't match enough to spend the rest of your life together. I still love my exboyfriends, but in a different way than I love my boyfriend now of course.
Indeed, if you say it after a few weeks, it's strange because the 2 of you are in love and then, everything is great and you don't mention the fact that you snore in bed (;-)) but I think after 2 or 3 months, would be normal. But hey, what is normal?

[irish42]

My current boyfriend actually said ILU first and we had only been together about 2 months. I knew I was in love with him as well so it worked out for the both of us :D

[littledancerus]

I haven't said it, nor had it said to me, since high school. I did have two bfs in college, (one for 4 months, one for 8) but no one said it. I also am with someone now, (been about... 4.5 months since we met) but we haven't said it either. Wow I seem kinda sad! Noone loves me! :( sniff. Oh well, the boys I was with in college I wouldn't have known what to say if they said it because I wasn't ready to say it. Last person I wanted to say it to was married, so I couldn't, even though I know he felt it back :cry:

[pisces2473]

My current boyfriend actually said ILU first and we had only been together about 2 months. I knew I was in love with him as well so it worked out for the both of us :D
LOL same thing with me...but I waited a full week to say it back. :razz:

[Winter Storm]

My ex and I said I love yous at 3 months.

[coll214]

Have never said it, or had it said to me... and having grown up how i did, would probally freak out if I heard it too soon, though what's too soon is anyone's guess!

[Luna456m]

Even these people living in their fantasy world turn out to be control freaks, because they expect their significant other to live up to their imagination.

Sam[/QUOTE]

I couldn't agree more... I've been in relationships where after 2 or 3 weeks the guy thinks they are in love.....How is this possible???? yes i do agree that in rare occasions this could be true...but in my experience ...it turns out that these guys were major control freaks .... I don't know how it happens maybe they never learned to share ..Maybe it's just the fact i've been married before and had a glimpse of real love... but .....Love Means something different to everyone. These days the words are just thrown around and so it's lost the majic....(my opinion)
I stick to...I really like you... and go from there

[Kitty]

I think it varies for me. I can usually tell pretty early on in a relationship whether or not I will fall in love w/ the person. It's hard to explain, but I just know if the potential is there. With my current bf I pretty much knew from the first date (I know that sounds crazy - but it was that intense), but we didn't exchange those words until probably 6 months later.

I don't think it hurts to wait to say 'I love you', there's no rush. I remember I was dating this guy once, and we had probably gone on about 3 dates when he said he loved me. It was so awkward because I didn't even like him that much, and that freaked me out even more...

[hopefloats]

I've always heard the adage to not say "I love you" until at least 6 months. That way you will at least have a working knowledge of the person and have been able to experience him/her in a variety of situations.

But then again, different things work for different people. I had friends who dated about 2 years before saying ILU. I also have those friends who live in their fantasy world and are saying it on the 2nd date. I personally know that I'm going to wait quite awhile to say ILU because I want to be sure. But I also know that with my current interest I love him, but I'm not in love with him...yet.

Some people just know when they love someone and I don't think they should hesitate to express it if they really feel it. After all, your emotions and feelings are who you are. There is no need to apologize for them. Finally, there is far too litte love in this word so say it 'till your heart's content! :bigger:

[ShawnInPA]

Didn't feel the need to start a new subject, because this pretty much relates to my dilemma.

I think I'm in love.

I've been dating this girl for around a month and a half. We've actually been "boyfriend/girlfriend" for about a month now.

She's awesome.

I know she's very much into me, as she comes over to stay several nights a week, even though a lot of times it won't be till late (like 12 midnight) and the fact that I live about 25 minutes away... even if she has to get up to leave at like 8 AM... along with many other reasons. We spend a decent amount of time on weekends together, but we're both pretty busy with our own lives.

She's only 21 (22 next week) and I'm 26.. for whatever reasons, we've each only had 1 other semi-serious relationship, and they both ended around the same time about 3 years ago.

There's just so many reasons I'm into her... my dilemma is that I don't want to say "I Love You" too soon. I just feel like it'll jinx the whole thing.

The other relationship I spoke of, we said it to each other after 3 weeks... and that relationship pretty much went down the drain.

Looking back on it pretty objectively, this girl is so much better to me and for me than the other girl ever was, and I really do believe I love her.

I just don't want to jump the gun.

Any advice would be helpful... I appreciate it, and thanks for listening to me ramble.

Shawn

[shinyleaf]

Well Shawn,

I would wait on this one for a few more months. There is nothing lost by doing this, and you can be sure. You might love what your new girlfriend does, and how she is, but really LOVING someone is different.

I am a very careful person with my feelings (well, I used to be when I was vulnerable - I'm engaged now so I am safe to put myself out there now) - and I waited 6 months. I KNEW it was true when I couldn't keep a lid on my feelings anymore - it felt like they were overflowing. You also know that you really love someone when you want to say it so bad that you don't even mind if they don't say it back right away. This is just my experience.

I think it means a lot more when it comes after you've had quite a few more experiences together than you can generally fit into 2 months of time.

If my bf told me he loved me after 2 months when I was 21, I would have been suspect (that he doesn't really know, that he says that to everyone, that he thinks it'll keep me around.... but I was kind of suspicious at that age)

[Deni81]

[QUOTE=hopefloats]I've always heard the adage to not say "I love you" until at least 6 months. That way you will at least have a working knowledge of the person and have been able to experience him/her in a variety of situations.

I think the 6 month rule is a good idea, but every relationship is different. I have only said I love you to 2 boyfriends. And both was before the 6 month mark. The first time was with my first boyfriend and he said it after 2 months. But then again we were 15 and didn't know anything about how relationships work. With my last boyfriend he said it after 3 months of dating, but we had been friends for 5 years prior.

I think it's different for everyone, but I find it hard to believe you can love someone after only a few dates.

[wordsmith]

I think it's different for everyone, but I find it hard to believe you can love someone after only a few dates.

Sure, you could, if you've known him or her, and actually loved the person prior to the few dates. But yeah, if you've just met the person, I'm really skeptical, too.

[ChicagoChad]

I kind of like making the girl wait and suffer, I would wait and bring her almost to the point of "a talk" making me more and more desirable

[Bugsey34]

I kind of like making the girl wait and suffer, I would wait and bring her almost to the point of "a talk" making me more and more desirable


Sorry but that's bullshit. If you want to make her suffer, you probably don't like love her. :googly:

[ShawnInPA]

I took one person's advice on here, as I couldn't hold it in anymore. I told my girlfriend I loved her, and she said it back. Woo Hoo!!

[shimmer728]

Good for you! :)

[coll214]

Aww, yay Shawn!!

[mishl982]

Yay! That's great news :huge: