help...

[panicstricken]

I'm 27 but I feel a lot older than that, I have no job, no support, no future, and no hope. I spent the last four years applying for jobs and I get nothing (I'm absolutely pathetic). My family always thought very poorly of me, all they think that I'm lazy and all I'm good for is living off of others. This is not true, and I am determined to prove them wrong. I'm experiencing a great deal of stress and anxiety over all of this.I've gone to counseling but I don't feel that they are listening to me or understanding me. I feel like I've wasted my life and I feel like I'm all alone. I don't know what to do. This was not where I wanted to be in life. I wanted things to be better than this. I feel like I'm dying.

Tom

[Kitty]

Can you make small steps? It seems like you are kind of overwhelmed and looking at all the things that you don't/want, etc. Worry about the next step first. Like, possibly finding a temp job or getting priorities in order?

[panicstricken]

I consider finding a job a small step for me. This is how I wanted to start getting my priorites in order but I end up failing and feeling like I haven't done anything. I feel like I'm lazy even though I'm not. I don't even know if what I said made any sense.

[midtwenty]

Why don't you have a job? I mean, I can understand it taking four years to find something in your chosen profession, but until then why aren't you working at Walmart or something? It takes small steps, like Kitty was saying. Until you find a permanent career, you work whatever job you can. Then you've got money coming in, which enables you to support yourself and suddenly the future doesn't seem so bleak because at least you're moving forward. I mean, not to be shitty because you sound depressed, but what are you DOING to improve your situation? You can't just be sitting around waiting for things to magically happen.

[pisces2473]

Do you have a degree? What's it in? What were you doing before 4 years ago (when you started looking for jobs)? I agree w/ Midtwenty--getting out in public, doing SOMETHING, will tremendously improve your situation. Good luck.

[panicstricken]

I can honestly say that I'm not sitting around doing nothing. I don't wait for things to just "magically happen", I know life doesn't work that way. I spend most of my time making out job applications, I don't know why I don't have a job and that's what is upsetting me.

[pisces2473]

Do you call back to find out if the application's been looked at? Follow up type calls?

[Kitty]

What is your degree in? what experience do you have? what do you think the problem is??

[panicstricken]

I call places that are hiring before I apply to find out what they have available, I apply, and I do follow ups but I'm often told that the filled the position.

[Kitty]

I am assuming you are applying to retail/food type jobs?

I would just go there in person. I think it looks pretty bad if you call first to see if they are accepting applications - can't you just go there? I think thats usually how those types of jobs work. Fill out the application and ask to talk to the manager.

[pisces2473]

Where do you live? Small town, big city? There has to be jobs out there...

[midtwenty]

Something's not stirring into the Kool-Aid here. I refuse to believe that, after FOUR YEARS, you haven't even gotten a job flipping burgers at McDonald's. Dude, what up? For real, now.

[pisces2473]

It might be a troll.

[Kitty]

Yeah, i think so.

[hopeless]

I'm not sure if this was answered, but do you have a degree in something? First thing is to figure out what you like to do, then research as much as you can about that field & network. That's one way to start instead of feeling sorry for yourself.

[Kerowyn]

If you gave us a little bit more information, maybe we could help you more. Like what kind of jobs you're looking for, if you have a degree or experience, stuff like that. Also, perhaps you should think about looking for different therapists, it often takes a while to find a professional you like and feel is helping you. Also, do you have problems with depression or panic attacks(is that where your username comes from?), this could affect your perception of things and affect major parts of your life. It all ties in with how you think of things. I hope this helps:)

I also wanted to say something about some of the other replies on here. I was a little saddened to see someone asking for help or advice and because certain facts don't add up being judged, criticized or not taken seriously and considered a troll. That's gonna scare people away, make them feel worse about themselves if they have a real problem and not help anyone very much. This person can have some sort of serious problem which makes it hard for them to find a job or something. I mean it's not like they came on here and tried to start trouble. I think that unless they are deliberately trying to start something, they should be given the benefit of the doubt. Aren't we all supposed to be supportive here?

Really bad form, honestly people.

[WeirdBrake]

Gotta agree with Kerowyn here. I think some people were being overly harsh and judgmental in their responses (though in my co-moderator Jen's defense, we have had to deal with a huge troll infestation that happened a couple months ago, so while I don't think panicstricken is a troll, I can understand how easy it is for us gun-shy mods to overreact to certain things).

Panicstricken... you sound severely depressed. Not sure what to tell you because depression has no easy answers. But I can tell you from personal experience that it's known for derailing motivation and causing one to feel like a failure. Your thoughts-- about yourself, your potential, your future-- are probably very distorted right now because of the depression, and things probably seem bleaker than they actually are. Try to hang in there. Find a therapist you DO click with (sounds like you haven't had much luck with therapists yet).

[Pieker]

I agree too. Panicstricken doens't sound like a lazy person who doesn't want to do something. My brother is now 26 and for several years, he was also in that position. He couldn't find his way into the big world. Couldn't find a job but I think it was because he wasn't sure about himself and his qualities. Now he's studying again with a lot of support of my father. But the world has sometimes too much to offer that you can't seem to make your choice out of it. It is difficult to find the right job. And if you have a degree in something f.i. medicin, you want to do something right with it because the world is changing so fast that you might miss a few important changes in the medicin world while you are working in the supermarket, if you know what I mean. (I'm not that good in expressing myself in English)

[winneythepooh7]

Tell us more about your background, if you have a degree, what your experience, if any is in, etc. Feel free to open up a little more...........


P.S. For anyone's info, if you have a history of depression/disability related to a mental disorder, there may be supported employment programs in your area to help you obtain and maintain employment. They have programs like this in NY state (Supported Employment, VESID.......)..........

Feel free to PM me if you have any other questions.

[midtwenty]

Sorry you were offended WB and Kerowyn. But 2 + 2 was not equalling 4 for me, and I'm far too straightforward for not calling him on it when I see it. I completely believe in empathizing with and helping people when they're down and out and truly having problems, but I DON'T believe in mollycoddling. I'm all for helping people, but not when they come on here and start yanking us. If he's truly been applying for jobs for four years, SOMEone SOMEwhere will offer him a job. But nothing at ALL? EVER? IN FOUR YEARS?! I don't believe it. As for whether he's a troll or not, I have no idea, nor do I care.

Now, flame away if you like. I'm in a confrontational mood today anyway. :twisted:

[pisces2473]

First--I was contacted by panicstricken yesterday and he is not a troll, but he alluded to the fact that he might not return.

Second--we were asking him questions, trying to get some more info from us, but he avoided certain questions, which led me intially to believe maybe he was a troll. So I have to say I sorta agree with Mid.

[Pieker]

I can't understand why someone would post a message and his life story for fun. Hasn't he got better things to do?

[pisces2473]

Pieker, you'd be amazed at what people post here, all for fun. :rolleyes:

[Kerowyn]

I just think it was wrong the way this person was treated. Perhaps he was a troll, perhaps he was not. No matter how many trolls having been trolling around here, should he have been jumped on like that for a forum that is all for constructive supportive advice. This person has obviously had some problems or difficulties in life. He said he had problems with people understanding him, maybe it's hard for him to open up. He didn't seem to be starting trouble with anyone or anybody. And gee, you mean after all that, he doesn't want to come back, I wonder why that is?? And if people don't care about whether he's a troll or not or what his problem is, why are you responding to a post that has the word help in it?? Just to beat him down lower for not having a job or answering questions in a way you see fit?? There's a difference between being straightforward and constructive and just plain mean. I'm sorry I just think that was cruel. And perhaps for speaking out, esp where a mod or two is concerned, I'll be suspended or made the bad guy for supposedly starting something, but I've been lurking for a while around here quietly and I have to speak out when I think something is wrong, esp. when it was like that. I really think there is something wrong when a person is persecuted like that. That's just my two cents.

[WeirdBrake]

Kerowyn... you're not going to be suspended or made into the bad guy for speaking your opinion here. You have my moderator word on that. :)

You'll also note that I agree with you on this. I think people WERE being nasty in their responses, and it wasn't right.

[Pieker]

We'll never know whether he was a troll or not...

[winneythepooh7]

Playing devil's advocate though, there has been a recent outbreak of trolls and people that have just crossed the line in the way they deal with others on the board. I see it from both sides and don't blame anyone really for being on guard and suspicious. Especially after getting PM's to the effect of "Go F yourself and DIE!" ;): ;): Those who have been around for a bit know what I am talking about...........

[WeirdBrake]

Playing devil's advocate though, there has been a recent outbreak of trolls and people that have just crossed the line in the way they deal with others on the board. I see it from both sides and don't blame anyone really for being on guard and suspicious. Especially after getting PM's to the effect of "Go F yourself and DIE!" ;): ;): Those who have been around for a bit know what I am talking about...........

But that was one individual-- an ex-regular-- and she was immediately banned after this happened. I like to think that was an aberration. In the almost 3 years I've been on QLC, and in the almost 2 years I've been a moderator, I certainly don't recall any incident with anyone sending those types of PMs to other members.

[pisces2473]

Kerowyn... you're not going to be suspended or made into the bad guy for speaking your opinion here. You have my moderator word on that. :)
Yup, me too.