THIS is why we're afraid of marriage.... [Archive]

Morgan81

03-28-2005, 12:47 PM

http://www.cnn.com/2005/LAW/03/25/divorce.settlement.ap/index.html

At least this is why I am. Not to say I'll be worth that much some day, but, this just underscores how f**ked up the divorce process is in this country.

If you screw up in your twenties and marry what you think is a nice girl, and then 20 years later, you catch her f**king her "rock climbing guide" and send her ass packing for being a cheating slut, you still have to pay her $24 million.

That's justice for you, and she wanted half. Bloodsucking wench should get a slap across the face and have to shack up with the rock climber, see how much she likes not having the 18 cars and have to go back to retail.

Someone explain to me how she deserves $24 million. Please, I want to understand, someone, enlighten me!

pisces2473

03-28-2005, 12:49 PM

Ahhh, another rich Connecticut fucker...

They got married when they were both dirt poor...and they struggled over the years (until she screwed around)...so that's why she felt entitled to that part of the fortune. Also, it's not like he's hurting for money, although his wife trampled his heart and then backed over it.

Radgirl

03-28-2005, 12:52 PM

This is the kind of crap that makes my stomach turn. What kinda shit is that anyways?

Morgan81

03-28-2005, 12:55 PM

She can feel entitled to the Presidency, it doesn't mean she should get it.
To steal from Eddie Murphy, all she had to do was f**k her husband, and she couldn't even do that right.

I agree, he doesn't need the $24 million, and he's probably glad to be rid of her, but I wouldn't want to give the bitch $.24.

and1grad

03-28-2005, 12:58 PM

I'm wondering exactly what she did to earn all that. Didnt it say she worked in retail? Wow.

pisces2473

03-28-2005, 01:00 PM

She was married before... :rolleyes:
The couple met in 1978 when Howard Sosin was an assistant professor at Columbia University. At the time, she was married to another man and working in retail.
Repeat offender, much?

I'm sure after they started raking in the dough, she stopped working...

pisces2473

03-28-2005, 01:04 PM

Here's more:
http://www.courant.com/hc-divorce0325.artmar25,0,4568934.story

The part about the book selection is SO ridiculous!!!

MetFanL

03-28-2005, 01:20 PM

Well, they're both at fault here. She was with him for 25 years. She probably "managed" the personal life side of things while he was working. The theory being that if she wasn't taking care of that stuff, he would have to and wouldn't have the time to devote to work that he did. Plus, if he vented work frustrations to her... I don't see how the court could do anything other than give her half. And, it sounds like they looked for something, but, b/c he was a bit of a sh*t too, he hurt his chances.

And, quite frankly, regardless of what my career was before marriage, if I quit my job and stayed home to raise the family, take care of the majority of the personal responsibilities,yada, yada, for 25 years, I'd expect (and deserve) half, too.

coll214

03-28-2005, 01:22 PM

Ahh, yes and this is why everyone think people from CT are snobs...

Well, it looks like from the article that she didn't get half and they put her cheating as the reasoning for that...

maxwell78

03-28-2005, 01:23 PM

Plus, if he vented work frustrations to her... I don't see how the court could do anything other than give her half.
Telling your wife about your bad day at work is now worth $24 million?

pisces2473

03-28-2005, 01:25 PM

Max, he DID start AIG. LOL She said he was out all the time, and left her a golf widow. (which is NOT a reason for divorce, but I'm just sayin')

WeirdBrake

03-28-2005, 01:31 PM

I think what Met said pretty much sums up the legal reasoning. But don't take my word for it. When I took Family Law, I went to three classes the whole semester. Never bought the books, never did any of the readings. The final exam was a take-home, and it determined 100% of the course grade. 70% was a written portion, and the recommended length was 10 to 15 pages. I handed in a half-assed 3 pages. Then there was the multiple choice portion, worth the other 30%. I didn't know what the hell I was doing on that, either. I used a generic course outline to give me some basic info about all the stuff I didn't learn during the semester.

I was terrified that I was going to fail. I passed with a D.

Why am I so proud of this? :D

Morgan81

03-28-2005, 01:40 PM

I'd expect (and deserve) half, too.

Than he should expect (and deserve) a faithful partner and mother of his children.
So this guy was married to his job, than why didn't she file for divorce, she knew she hit the lottery and didn't want to go back to retail.

I realize that divorce law is written this way, but this is EXACTLY why I do not want to get married. I have seen too many cases in my family and outside of it where the male just gets absolutly screwed no matter what the female does, no matter who is at fault. A guy can be the best person in the world, and still get the shaft and it's f**king bullshit.

pisces2473

03-28-2005, 01:43 PM

I realize that divorce law is written this way, but this is EXACTLY why I do not want to get married. I have seen too many cases in my family and outside of it where the male just gets absolutly screwed no matter what the female does, no matter who is at fault. A guy can be the best person in the world, and still get the shaft and it's f**king bullshit.
Get a prenup and the law doesn't apply. You know what the real issue is? The fact that Connecticut (and other states) have "no-fault" divorces. You can just say "Okay, let's get divorced," where in other states, you have to have proof, etc.

Morgan81

03-28-2005, 01:46 PM

Get a prenup and the law doesn't apply.

Ok, how many women would sign one?

biodork

03-28-2005, 01:48 PM

Than he should expect (and deserve) a faithful partner and mother of his children.
So this guy was married to his job, than why didn't she file for divorce, she knew she hit the lottery and didn't want to go back to retail.

I realize that divorce law is written this way, but this is EXACTLY why I do not want to get married. I have seen too many cases in my family and outside of it where the male just gets absolutly screwed no matter what the female does, no matter who is at fault. A guy can be the best person in the world, and still get the shaft and it's f**king bullshit.

Then why not get a pre-nup? That would solve a lot of your problems with marriage.

And also there have been cases where the woman was completely faithful to the guy but the guy decided after 20 years to just end it, and even though the woman was a housewife she was still awarded money. I see nothing wrong with this, especially because more and more women are left absolutely screwed if they get a divorce because they have kept the house in order but have no skills or education otherwise, so without their husband they essentially have nothing. They basically have to start from scratch. And that is REALLY hard to do when you are in your 40's.

pisces2473

03-28-2005, 01:48 PM

Never say never, it all depends on the relationship, your goals, etc. Prenups don't always mean "when we get divorced, you get nothing." It can also mean things like, "if we get divorced, this is mine and this is yours, so don't even think about going after my business, etc."

Morgan81

03-28-2005, 01:53 PM

Then why not get a pre-nup? That would solve a lot of your problems with marriage.

And also there have been cases where the woman was completely faithful to the guy but the guy decided after 20 years to just end it, and even though the woman was a housewife she was still awarded money. I see nothing wrong with this, especially because more and more women are left absolutely screwed if they get a divorce because they have kept the house in order but have no skills or education otherwise, so without their husband they essentially have nothing. They basically have to start from scratch. And that is REALLY hard to do when you are in your 40's.

I'm not saying the women should get nothing we she was the victim, but when she goes and bangs the pool-boy, or rock-boy in this case, to hell with her.

But picture this, your man proposes to you, but then comes in with a legal contract and says "hey, baby, before we get hitch can you sign this saying that when we get divorced you can't go for my throat?"
Would you sign that????

MetFanL

03-28-2005, 01:53 PM

How old are their children? The article states that they are at home. If she leaves him, it could be abandonment and then she could get nothing. She devoted 25 years, she's entitled to something and probably didn't want to shut herself out of that. And, if custody is an issue, she'll need to support the children in the way they are currently accustomed.

Telling your wife about your bad day at work is now worth $24 million?

It's called emotional support. That's probably not the only reason she's getting half, but it's definitely a factor.

pisces2473

03-28-2005, 01:55 PM

The children are all under 20, including the youngest who's only like 11.

But picture this, your man proposes to you, but then comes in with a legal contract and says "hey, baby, before we get hitch can you sign this saying that when we get divorced you can't go for my throat?"
Morgan, I believe you're being a little extreme. In most cases, the idea of a prenup is discussed LONG before the wedding or engagement...or at least it SHOULD be discussed long before then.

MetFanL

03-28-2005, 01:57 PM

I would sign a pre-nup. It only has to cover this was mine and this was yours before the wedding. After that, it's all ours. That's why the issue w/ this couple is tough. Everything falls into that "ours" category. So, even w/ a pre-nup, she'd probably still be entitled to half of anything he earned while they were together.

Yeah, those kids are young, so she really couldn't leave him. It would be abandonment and that would hurt her in a custody battle.

WeirdBrake

03-28-2005, 01:57 PM

I wait patiently for someone to do the Chris Rock routine. If no one does, I'll do it myself.

pisces2473

03-28-2005, 01:59 PM

Yeah, I'd do a prenup for mine before the marriage and yours before the marriage. Especially if any large amounts of cash/properties/antiques/etc are owned by either party.

biodork

03-28-2005, 02:03 PM

Most couples definitely discuss prenups before marriage. I seriously doubt anyone would just "spring" it on their SO. But if my bf wanted a pre-nup, i wouldn't be opposed to it. I think pre-nups are more important to people say in Donald Trump's position though.

Starfish81

03-28-2005, 02:05 PM

I'm not saying the women should get nothing we she was the victim, but when she goes and bangs the pool-boy, or rock-boy in this case, to hell with her.

But picture this, your man proposes to you, but then comes in with a legal contract and says "hey, baby, before we get hitch can you sign this saying that when we get divorced you can't go for my throat?"
Would you sign that????

I would.

Pre-nuptial agreements can cover any number of things, including banging pool-boys, rock-boys, etc. That would go under an infidelity clause. They are becoming increasingly necessary and very common, so I would not feel remotely guilty about exchanging them with my future husband.

Morgan81

03-28-2005, 02:06 PM

Morgan, I believe you're being a little extreme. In most cases, the idea of a prenup is discussed LONG before the wedding or engagement...or at least it SHOULD be discussed long before then.

I know I'm being extreme Pisces, and if I'm pissing anyone off, I apologize as this is not my intent. The subject of divorce hits close to home for me as I'm sure it does for many of you as well. My father was raked over the coals by my alcoholic, worthless mother when they got divorced and got the same amount of money (which could not be reduced even when my father lost his job) that she would of gotten if he had been the drunk who tried to ruin his children's lives.

Now, I have not met a women I would even think of marrying yet, but I want to meet her and and in a idealic setting, I would. But this country in this time is far from ideal. I refuse to believe that my father put a ring on my mother's finger knowing what she might become, so who's to say that the same couldn't happen to me? I might meet the perfect women today, but 10 or 20 years she could become the antichrist and legally, I can stay married to the witch or get rid of her, pay something like $60k in legal or court fees to allow me to pay her what she deserves, or go through the legal "express lane" and pay the bitch for the rest of my life.

It's a great choice.

Morgan81

03-28-2005, 02:10 PM

I wait patiently for someone to do the Chris Rock routine. If no one does, I'll do it myself.
Yeah, I know, that entire routine has been in my head since I posted this. I've just been trying to keep this somewhat serious.

"...YOU MIGHT JUST HAVE TO KILL HER!!!"

Luna456m

03-28-2005, 02:12 PM

I don't think you can put an actual price on what one puts up with or deals with or gives to a marriage...

Now speaking from experiance.... It is not only the men who get f***ed ....

I was married for 11 years , I worked, I took care of our daughter , made sure the house was clean, there was food on the table, i listened to him complain, cry I was always there ... I loved him through allot of the bull sh*t ...

I wanted the divorce ... and because it was my decision he made me feel like i was the worst person in the world. I helped him get through boot camp, through corpral training, through officer school ...and took care of everyting whille he worked at getting where he is at now.

I didn't ask for anything.... did I deserve anything...Hell yes!!!!

I deserved at least the house, one of the cars , and most of important my daughter.

But instead I got NOTHING.... he's an officer in the Marine Corps he had the money for a good lawyer I did not. I was fighting depression and he used that against me. I was so naive back then
I didn't get jack ..He got Physical custody of our daughter, he got the house, the cars (yes both) I couldn't even keep the health Insurance so.... Yes guys get the shit end of the stick...but so do many women. And let me just say.....IT SUCKS big time...... I'm totally against marriage...i Say live together.....what's yours is yours and what's mine is mine...and don't make me your phycologist, mother or maid....

Oh yeah and guess who pays the Officer in the Marine Corps and his new wife child support...yeah...that would be me...

WeirdBrake

03-28-2005, 02:12 PM

Thanks, Morgan. Now I don't have to.

Sorry to hear about your father's experience with your mother. That's gotta be awful to be the kid in that situation. :(

Luna456m

03-28-2005, 02:49 PM

Exaclty...and still there are so many people out there dying to jump into marriage... i've been there and it is only after 3 years AD (after Divorce) that I can even think about moving in with someone... just hearing the word marriage would make my eyes role and skin crawl. I've gotten to where I can sit through an entire wedding and reception without saying..Oh my gosh ...i feel sorry for them... I know there are people that have remained married and they trust and love each other but they are few and far between...

Who knows one day I may learn to beleave in the fairy tale again...(i Highly doubt it ) it would be nice...but i cant see it happening...

coll214

03-28-2005, 03:19 PM

i Say live together.....what's yours is yours and what's mine is mine...and don't make me your phycologist, mother or maid....
That's what my father and his g/f do, and it works for them; she also is in a MUCH better financial situation than him and she knows it, which is why they will never be married. If that's what works for ya, then go for it!

And not to mention, though I don't think it's as bad now, women's credit records can be utterly DESTROYED by divorce, to the point of not being able to buy a home if they need to, while it is not true for a man; at least that's how it used to be in CT...

MetFanL

03-28-2005, 03:21 PM

No, that's true everywhere, coll. If you married, you're approved for credit based on combined income -- even if both your names aren't on the card. When you get divorced, you are approved (and have) all this outstanding credit above what you would be approved for if you applied based on only your salary... It s*cks.

Why the h*ll do I know so much about divorce? ;)

spokes

03-28-2005, 03:58 PM

just to keep things in perspective she only got 8 cars out of the deal - this works out to one car per day of the week plus a back up car. coincidently she also has 8 fingers.

and1grad

03-28-2005, 04:11 PM

LOL! Its just a load of bullshit. She's entitled to half b/c she didnt pursue a career of her own? What nonsense. I cant believe anybody actually buys into that emotional support/take care of the household bullshit. I've heard of cases just like Luna's where people get extremely shafted like that. I know of a case where a man takes care of his kids, always did, proved that he was the better parent in every sense of the word, and STILL not only lost the case but pays the woman child support. And here's the kicker...the children still live with him. Last I heard, and this was several years ago, the guy was unable to get the courts to hear him so he can at least show that these kids live with him so he can stop getting the child support pulled off his check. Divorce is SO tailored to benefit women that its ridiculous and almost makes it stupid for a man to get married at all.

pisces2473

03-28-2005, 04:14 PM

And1, how do the kids live with the guy if he didn't get them in the custody "agreement?"

I sort of agree with you about it being bullshit for emotional support/take care of the household. For anyone who didn't read the article, they have 14 servants, most who live in their OWN MANSION down the street from the family's house in Southport (CT). I mean, what did she do? Assign Jeeves tasks and told Buffy when she needed to dust so she could go out rock climbing? OH SO HARD--cry me an effing river.

and1grad

03-28-2005, 04:26 PM

Cuz the mother doesnt give a shit, dropped the kids off, and hit the road.

Luna456m

03-28-2005, 04:29 PM

It is so true about the credit thing...When i filed for divorce...i was called and told that i had this line of credit at a loan place in Tallahassee...i ran over there but when i got there they asked where my husband was and i said oh no we are divorced its just me.... they told me they couldnt give me the loan unless i was married..What the F**K is that about.....
This is the reason so many people stay married. Better insurance, lower bills, bigger homes....hell i thought about it.... but i was smart enough to stick it out on my own...I'm not even gonna tell you the difference between my ex husbands home and mine... uughggh

biodork

03-28-2005, 04:33 PM

I think if either person in a marriage cheats and bails, that person doesn't deserve anything in the end. And I never used to think that being a housewife/husband had any value, but I've changed my mind. Yeah some people have maids and cooks, etc, but most people probably don't. More power to the men and women who decide that being a homemaker is their calling in life. It may not seem all that great to some, but it still takes a ton of patience and hard work. I could never do it, it doesn't seem fulfilling to me but I think some people do find it fulfilling. And for those people who choose to stay home, take care of the house and kids so their SO has more time to put into their career and doesn't need to worry about things like taking off work to pick up a sick kid, I see no reason why they shouldn't be entitled to whatever money is made or items acquired during the marriage.

wordsmith

03-28-2005, 04:36 PM

Cuz the mother doesnt give a shit, dropped the kids off, and hit the road.

This was the case with my ex, too. Mom bailed, leaving him (at only 3 years old :( ) and his two older sisters with their dad while she went and started a new family. There was no custody hearing.

pisces2473

03-28-2005, 04:37 PM

Yeah, but why does And1's friend still have to pay child support? That's what's really fucked up.

biodork

03-28-2005, 04:40 PM

Yeah, but why does And1's friend still have to pay child support? That's what's really fucked up.

Yeah that is really fucked up. You'd think that he would be able to get into the courts and get the ruling switched. But then you'd also think a kid would be taken away from a parent who has had kids taken away from her in the past and is obviously abusing the kid (bf's half brother is in this situation). The justice system doesn't always work out.

inuts

03-28-2005, 04:45 PM

pisces2473

03-28-2005, 04:47 PM

Good call, Biodork. I liked your post.

coll214

03-28-2005, 04:54 PM

Yeah that is really fucked up. You'd think that he would be able to get into the courts and get the ruling switched. But then you'd also think a kid would be taken away from a parent who has had kids taken away from her in the past and is obviously abusing the kid (bf's half brother is in this situation). The justice system doesn't always work out.
By and large, the court systems favor the mother... I also have a friend who should be paying child support to the mother of his 2 kids despite the fact that one lives w/ him full-time, and the other slightly more than part-time. But she deserves the child support? Makes no sense...

biodork

03-28-2005, 04:57 PM

By and large, the court systems favor the mother... I also have a friend who should be paying child support to the mother of his 2 kids despite the fact that one lives w/ him full-time, and the other slightly more than part-time. But she deserves the child support? Makes no sense...

Yeah it doesn't help that the father isn't that great of a person either. But what's funny is that ALL 3 OF HER OTHER KIDS have called child services several times to say how she shouldn't have the kid and still its done nothing.