dating a recovering alcoholic...

[expat.yank]

if someone had asked me 5 years ago what i would be doing, dating a recovering alcoholic would have no where been on the list...but now i am and i think he maybe the 'one'...am i crazy? or am i just letting social stigma, etc. get in he way of a potentially great romance? he is literally perfect in every other way, seriously...mind, body, soul...and he seems to have the whole recovery thing down pat...AA meetings, etc...? thoughts?

thanks!

-sam

[WeirdBrake]

Some people suffer from addictions. Some suffer from depression. Some suffer from bipolar disorder. Some suffer from obsessive compulsive disorder. Some suffer from eating disorders. Some suffer from ADD or ADHD or learning disabilities. Some deal with abusive childhoods and very dysfunctional families. Some deal with a combination of the above. And some people have no observable psychiatric problems.... they usually turn out to be serial killers. ;)

No one's perfect. You have a great relationship? Celebrate. :)

[winneythepooh7]

I agree with WB. My current boyfriend is the last person I expected to fall in love with. And his history prior to meeting me was pretty bad with the stuff he did and was involved in. I like to think that I play a part in keeping him from going back to that bad life, even though it is really all him ;).

[mishl982]

Well if you're in a great relationship and you think he's the One, then stick with it. Show your support if he's a recovering alcoholic. My cousin's fiance is giving up alcohol (he's al alcoholic too) so she decided that she's gonna give it up too to support him. I'm not saying that you should give it up too, but let him know that you support him.

[shinyleaf]

Ok, I am in this boat too. I sometimes worry that I'll be too much a codependent spouse. I'm not really all that "nurturing", however; I don't find it overly satisfying or whatever to be the one for him to fall on... I need a shoulder too sometimes. So I guess I would say just analyze your motivation for the relationship... give yourself a "codependent?" check. And if you are, beware. You might be bitter when it comes time for HIM to be the shoulder you need to lean on. But it sounds like he has a handle on things, and as WB says, everyone has problems and everyone needs support. Just don't compromise your needs.

[k.monster]

Isn't it always the case that the guy you fall for is not exactly your idea of "perfect" ??
If you're really digging your time with him then you should keep him. Just because he can't drink doesn't mean that you guys can't have a blast together.