Moving Back Home

[gabi]

I am moving back home this weekend from San Francisco and am wondering what to expect after living on my own for 5 years.

Also, got any ideas about how to make this transition with the least amount of grief to me and my family?

[Anonymous]

I don't have any advice because I'm in the same boat... moving in a month to my mom's house. My friends all think I'm crazy, but I need to save money. Just keep your head up and your eye on some kind of goal. Maybe we could keep this message board going to share thoughts and ideas as we experience it. Just remember that other people are in you situation.

[gabi]

Thanks for the response. That is true....

You are very correct and it's tough also. my grandfather and parents live with me. AHH!..he does not understand anything and lives in the 1940's, so our perspectives are different. plus i think he's going senile..or at least beginning to.

Additionally, my parents, grandfather and me have different perspectives and methods of doing the same thing...It's drives me nuts some days..but the rent is great and i have the WEB and free rent and food...

just remember: THIS TO SHALL PASS....

[Starving_artist]

I'll be moving back home with my parents this month as well. After 4 years on my own, this will indeed be difficult I'm sure. I'm also worried about the old friends from back home as well. I've kept in touch with a few and come to realize that they are actually good friends of mine. But when I go back and the novelty of not really seeing eachother that often wears off, are we still gonna be that close? I suppose the potential for me to meet other people and make more of social life exists but I also thought that about moving to the city I'm currently in. Of the two people I consider friends here, one of them is the 'drifter' type so really, I'm counting my days until he decides that he wants to hitch-hike.....somewhere else. The other is a girl I've been seeing for the past couple weeks but really, I doubt this is going to go anywhere considering I'm leaving soon and I'm having doubts about our compatibility. She's off at a party on mushrooms (not the grocery store kind) and I was so tempted to try to get some for myself so I could go. I haven't touched that stuff for almost three years and quit in the first place because of some rather horrible experiences.

I don't know who I am anymore and worry about how much farther I would have to go to hit rock-bottom. I almost want to hit rock-bottom at this point so atleast I'll know that it can't get any worse.

Oh yeah, Happy New Year.

Depressingly Yours;

[emc]

if only i could have reached you sooner.
i moved home last year (one year ago) after living on my own for 3 years. i had met 'the one' and decided i needed to go home and save money to move --he lived across the country. i went from a spacious apt to a tiny room with too much furniture. of course, now i'm single again and about to move out, but i wanted to offer these few pieces of advice:
1. minimize. take only those things that you MUST have (i took my bed, clothes and a tiny few books.) more than likely you'll have less space and yet want the escape more often.
2. respect their space. you're coming back to something they made their own.
3. be prepared for transition time. i'm a night person. my mom is the lightest sleeper around. we had to adjust to each other. she has a dog, i have a cat.... we both preferred showers at night (that had to change or we suddenly had very swift showers.)
4. RELAX! i felt like a loser for moving home, but it was practical and temporary. you may feel the same things, but remember you are doing this for good reasons. and it is only temporary.
5. watch out for the pitfalls of siblings if they are still at home on a permanent basis. they may feel you are intruding on Their space and jealous, silly arguments may occur.

hope this helps. feel free to email me if you are still struggling, i can only tell you what worked for me.
emclarkhms@hotmail.com

ps. mom and i are now great roommates, she still doesn't like my cat that much. i am still annoyed by her dog. i remember not to leave my shoes all over the house and she remembers to knock before coming into my bedroom. not everything is perfect, but we have adjusted. still,,, i can't Wait!! to be out and on my own again.

[greene54]

That's funny, Gabi. I'm in a similar situation. After living on my own in the city for two years, I've moved back home with my parents and my grandfather. I'm 27 years old. I gained so much strength and wisdom being on my own. Now it's being put to use. The other day, my grandfather opened my bedroom door while I was sleeping, woke me up and muttered something about how I should really clean up my room. Then he poked me in the stomach and joked about how I'll never have big muscles like him. There's a pathetic humor to my situation. But day after day of that kind of thing and it's hard not to develop a slight inferiority complex. You know...one day my grandfather is poking me in the stomach, next night in the bar I'm scared to talk to the girls. Needless to say, I'm learning to put a healthy space between the way my family deals with me, and how I let it effect me. Some days, it ain't easy. But now I can honestly say that I've become a stronger man living at home than I did in the middle of the city. In a way, it's a blessing.
And the rent is free.

[Lipgloss Boost]

*ugh* i moved back after university, went through that for a year then moved here (ottawa) for more school. i couldn't handle it! i found it worse becuase of the bad relationship i have with them to begin with (statements like, "well what are you going to do next?", "who's going to hire you?", "why don't you hang-out with your old friends?" who you have nothing in common with anymore). if when i graduate from this 2nd program i don't find a job - i'll live on the street before i move back! *chuckle*

[Guz]

I still live at home...its not so bad, sometimes it is though. Right now my room is on the third floor next to my parents. I'd like to move down to the basement though just so I can have a bit more space to myself.

I keep hearing too more and more college grads are moving home cuz it cuts costs and what not. Doesn't sound like a bad idea...that is if you can get along with your parents.:)

btw, new member here

[moo]

I am living at home right now too. I think it definately has its benefiets--there is no way I would be able to save any money if I had to pay rent with my crappy job. Plus, it is just kind of no-stress. My mom is being extra cool about it though (perhaps because there is an end in sight?) so that definately helps. It is hard not to relapse into the role of little girl, so I try to just act like a roommate and it is working out fine.

I'm new here too. Hello, hello.