New to QLC

[Jayebird]

I just finished the book, and I've been reading everyone's stories that sound so similar to my own. I've been out of college for five years, and I still don't know how to handle this crisis that I'm going through. Except for a brief career in retail management, all I've been doing is clerical work since graduation. I'm now in my fifth clerical job, and I absolutely hate it. It's not the company I work for or the people here, they're all fine. I just hate being a secretary. I feel like a servant all day long, doing menial work that a monkey could do. The people I work for don't do even the simplest task themselves, I have to do everything regardless of how busy I am. I'm even working for people who just graduated from college with the same type of degree I got five years ago (a Bachelor's Degree). I know I may get the advice I should start looking for another job if I'm so unhappy, but in this economy, there are barely any jobs out there. Even if I found another clerical job, I would be starting at the bottom again.

What I really want is a job in desktop publishing. I did a lot of this in college as a Theatre Promotions major, but I didn't pursue desktop publishing as a career since I was focused on getting a job in Theatre. Needless to say, Theatre jobs in Milwaukee are limited, and there isn't much turnover. So now I'm five years behind the times. I've taken some classes in desktop publishing, and I will be taking more in the Spring, but the few jobs out there require job experience, which I don't have. And there is no way I can get experience in my current job. To them, I'm just a secretary.

I guess I'm just looking for some support. I don't really have any friends I can talk to or get support from. The friends I had don't want me around because I'm depressed all the time, and things are getting more and more bleak. I'm starting therapy soon for my depression, but my first session is still two weeks away. I just don't know how long I can go on being this lonely, frustrated and hopeless. :(

Thanks for letting me vent! Getting my feelings out to anyone right now helps a little bit.

[dbaker]

Jayebird, I know exactly what you are going through. Though I haven't been out of school for as long as you have, I still feel like I should be getting out of this clerical job and on to something better. Every day I send out resumes, but with the state of the economy, it just doesn't seem like there is a lot out there. I have a lot of marketable skills, but I get the feeling that the word "secretary" turns off potential hiring managers. I suppose that I could be thinking that just because I don't like the title. But ultimately, I feel like I'm stuck in the rut of too much experience to be a secretary, not enough to be something else.

Every day I come to work and become more and more bitter about my position in this company. I know what you mean about doing things a monkey can do. I see other people here that are my age with bachelor's degrees doing much better jobs and I'm the one serving coffee at their meetings. I studied for love of subject and not for potential wealth and I think that is coming back to bite me. I'm just getting so tired of coming to work every day and having to defend my intelligence.

[M4A1]

Welcome to this QLC board Jayebird, and hi dbaker.

Having been through the same situation, I know exactly how you feel. I understand your frustration and the side effects of your depression. I just like to first reaffirm the fact that you aren't alone, because there are many similar posts written before yours and I have read them. I have also written my own posts. I even went to look for ways to deal with these problems. I had even posted some of those strategies to share them with everyone.

I don't always say the right things and not everyone always agree with them. But here is what I have realized-- that ultimately, your depression can only be cured by yourself. Pills and occasional cheer-you-ups will suppress your current state of mind, but it will come back-- unless you learn to use a effective strategy to cope with it. There are many different strategies and not one works for all.

But before getting into stratgies, you must first know what you are dealing with, just like a diagnosis. You can't treat what you don't know.

-- Depression will not only bring you down, it will bring down others around you.

-- The more you dwell on what's not going right for you, the more depress you will get. Your brain produces these harmful and highly addictive toxins that you can never get enough of. Process can repeat itself forever.

-- Your actions are dictated by your thoughts. You cannot reach for that cup on your table unless you, first, see and recognize the cup, second, mentally WANT to reach for it. Only when these 2 conditions are met will you be able to reach out and grab that cup.

-- Your brain can only consciously focus on 4 to 6 things at a time. For example, were you aware of that humming noise coming from the computer? what about now?

Lastly,
-- What you constantly tell yourself is what you will believe. Despite if it is the truth or not. If you keep thinking that you can't, then you won't. It's not actually because you can't. You "can't" because you wouldn't put in any efforts -- because you believed that you can't.

Can you now see the vicious cycle of depression? How the process repeats itself over and over and over? and why some people are so prone to long lasting depression?

Solution:
First believe that you can be depression free-- because it is true. No really! Believe that with your heart! And start looking for ways to treat it yourself. Don't count on others.

Focus on things that you can do to make a difference. Start recognizing: The cup has been on the table the whole time. Since you were too caught up with looking at the monitor and what I wrote, plus the fact that you are trying to process all these information the same time, you were too occupied to notice the cup is there. But just by reaching for the cup once, you take some of your attention away from focusing just on one thing to something else. Thus, you create more options. By creating more options, you are no longer stuck with just one choice.

Focus on what you have going for you. You know, things will be 1000 times harder if you are blind and cannot read these words. Imagine what your life will be like if you can't see. (How about closing your eyes then try to finish reading this post) But you know what? Don't even think like that, think that it's so great that you can see things, taste things, hear things. You got a lot going for you. Heck, you must at least know how to type and use a computer. Many people in our country still don't know how to do that-- just check your State Employment Office. You'll see what I'm talking about.

Lastly, Laugh. Goto a comedy club. Read some jokes, go out with friends who have good sense of humor and nonjudgmental. Respect those who are too negative but keep a distance from them because attitudes are contagious. You can help some but they need to ultimately understand it for themselves.

I hope this helps.

Good luck!

[AMB25]

M4A1 is so right.

May I also add that volunteering for a theater group may be helpful to you. I live in Milwaukee and know that there are many deserving organizations that you can work with. Even if you're not paid, at least you have your foot in the theater door again. And while you're volunteering, make sure to network. You never know what opportunities you might find.

Also, you may want to look for Marketing jobs in the area. I started out as an admin for marketing and have since gotten a promotion. Marketing is nice because it combines business with creativity and there are many ways you can go with it. As a music major, i've found it to be a nice fit.

Hope some of this is helpful to you.
Good luck!

[dbaker]

Hi M4,

Thank you so much for what you wrote. It's hard to stay positive sometimes, especially when you dwell on the bad and brush off the good. But you are so right... I AM bringing down the people around me and I can see myself falling deeper and deeper into that vicious cycle. Once you get into it, it's so hard to bring yourself out of it.

I really appreciate the fact that you took the time to write all that out for me (and for Jayebird). It helps more than you know. Thank you! :)

Take care,
D