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  1. #1

    Proper etiquette for being stood up?

    I got stood up for a date this evening. Never showed up, no phone call, nothing. Weird thing was, I thought this guy was really into me, way more than I into him. Is it rude to send an email saying "what happened last night"? Or is it more polite to just ignore and move on to the next?

  2. #2
    Join Date
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    I sent an IM saying "Nice of you to show up," and left it at that.

    You don't owe somebody who rudely stands you up politeness. If there's a legitimate reason (which has 1/100 of a chance of actually being the case), that person can let you know that. But you have no obligation to bend over backward to be polite.
    "Even when I've f*&%ed up, I've spun it into a learning experience that's brought me to bigger and better things."

  3. #3
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    Move on, his loss
    "But it's not that you can't see the forest for the trees, you've never been out in the woods alone" - Ben Folds Five

  4. #4
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    Yeah, def. move on. But absolutely DON'T feel as if you don't have the right to say something or are obligated to be polite about it. I don't believe in letting people off the hook. At least then you know their assiness was noted.
    "Even when I've f*&%ed up, I've spun it into a learning experience that's brought me to bigger and better things."

  5. #5
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    Do you really care what the guy thinks of your response? If you feel like you want some kind of reason, just flat out ask him any way you like. But don't be surprised if he doesn't respond.
    "Those who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security deserve neither liberty nor security." ~Ben Franklin

    Carol

  6. #6
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    I agree with Jess, call the bastard on it, then move on.
    "Words are not only cheap, they're really easy to use." Taken from a Washington Post book review

  7. #7
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    Polite? Who cares! He stood you up! Email and say what the hell is wrong with you, then forget he ever existed.

  8. #8
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    Key point - don't expect a response, explanation, or dialogue. Somebody who leaves you sitting someplace isn't going to answer an e-mail. If you want to say something, do it for your own satisfaction. Not because you want an accounting of what happened. Ya ain't getting one, and as long as you know that, it's cool.
    "Even when I've f*&%ed up, I've spun it into a learning experience that's brought me to bigger and better things."

  9. #9
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    I'd send him a nasty e-mail or leave a nasty message.
    *Allison*

    "Some people are settling down, some people are just settling and some people refuse to settle for anything but butterflies." -Carrie Bradshaw

    "Sometimes I wish I were a street person, cut off from society. But then I wouldn't get to wear my outfits." -Ally McBeal

  10. #10
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    I don't think asking what happened is out of line - if he ignores you, he really isn't doing anything different, if he's truely apologetic in his reply, you can decide from there. I think it's important to keep your dignity intact in the exchange - if something serious happened (unlikely, but what if?), you won't suffer from foot-in-mouth.

    Of course this is coming from someone that has been too "understanding" of a partner's flake-outs so take it with a grain of salt.
    Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind. ~ Dr. Suess

    Everyone sees who you appear to be, few see what you really are. ~ Machiavelli

  11. #11
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    Keeping dignity intact is crucial. And, to me, letting it pass without even a comment doesn't do wonders for my dignity. I'm all about putting rudeness and inconsideration in place, then moving on.
    "Even when I've f*&%ed up, I've spun it into a learning experience that's brought me to bigger and better things."

  12. #12
    jdt141 Guest
    next!

    if he had a legit reason, he would have at least called. the only exception would him being in an accident of some sort and being physically unable to call you.

  13. #13
    Etiquette? He stood you up. Quite frankly, f*ck etiquette. He didn't respect your time, so handle it any way you like.
    WORK like you don't need the money, LOVE like you've never been hurt and DANCE like there's nobody watching.

    When it's right, it's easy.

    Don't waste the pretty!!

  14. #14
    Join Date
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    Quote Originally Posted by jdt141
    next!

    if he had a legit reason, he would have at least called. the only exception would him being in an accident of some sort and being physically unable to call you.
    But even that needs an explanation after some point! I'd leave a nasty text/IM/email along the nice to see you the other night variety and leave it at that. I always need to have the last word :twisted:.
    Colleen
    "Life should be a little nuts. Otherwise, it's just a bunch of... Thursdays, strung together." Bo in Rumor Has It

    "The only people who are truly happy are the people we do not know very well." Susan Isaacs

    http://www.myspace.com/coll_in_ct

  15. #15
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    Me, to, coll. Me, too. I don't go silently into the night. Not my style.
    "Even when I've f*&%ed up, I've spun it into a learning experience that's brought me to bigger and better things."

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