Look young but I'm not. Embarrassed when people ask me my age....Am I OK??
I'm soon to be 30 in about six months. It seems like I only get approached by guys under 25, people always seem to think I'm much younger than what I am. Usually I get 19-22. I guess that's about right, because when I graduated from High School, people seemed to think I was about 12. I'm really small 115 pounds 5'4". I work out alot. I dress cute...a few classic pieces mixed with a few trendy pieces. After working many years in the legal field (which I hated) I went back to school FT at the age of 25 and I'm almost done. I apply for internships to get experience, I slip in the fact that I'm a non-traditional student, but they always seem to forget that I'm not 18-21 when they meet me.
Today at work....in front of everyone in my office, another woman my same age was talking about how hard it was raising kids. Someone asked me did I have any, and I said no quickly. Then someone else remarked that I had plenty of time (thinking I was younger). Then the woman asks me "How old are you?" I just kinda froze....Everyone was staring at me. I lied. I knock off a couple of years and everyone still Gasps...."You are that old??!! I thought you were much younger...Well what are you waiting for? You don't want any kids? I thought you were a student??" Now I guess everyone will look at me as an Old loser, someone that should have finished college years ago. Geez, I knock off a few years and they still have a hard time believing how old I am!!! Suddenly I feel awful that at my age, I am just an intern and I'm not already established in a career.
Do you think I should have just said, "That's personal." I don't know why but that response seems a little rude to me. But I think the question was rude as well. I NEVER ask a persons age. How would you have handled this situation?
Do you feel funny when someone asks your age in front of a large crowd?? I hate it. It's extremely embarrassing for me because people always seem to think I'm so much younger and when they find out I'm not, they make a huge deal out of it or seem disappointed. They'll call other people over and be like "Guess how old she is!??!!!" Next thing you know I have a crowd around me trying to guess my age. Talk about humiliating. I'm a shy person.
Often when I'm approached by these younger guys, they'll sit and chat with me and when the age question pops up, they seem shocked that I'm almost 30. And it seems some of them immediately lose interest, they'll apologize and say "Oh, I'm sorry M'am, I thought you were younger", or they'll act all shocked and call their buds over to play the "guess her age" game again. Trust me, it's not a self-esteem booster.
I kid you not, a few months ago. I met a guy on the train and we talked for a while. I thought he was a little older until he mentioned He was looking for a date for the prom!!!! WTF.... This is when looking younger than your age becomes bad!! Guys my age never approach me...ever. I have to approach them. It's sad when you have to whip out your ID, to get them to believe you.
I'm thinking to avoid confusion and the embarrassment, I should get a pin made that says "Im 30" and start dressing in old lady clothes. So people could stop freakin asking me....
I like the way I look...I don't want to look older or younger. I'm just me. I just hate that people expect certain things from me because I am a certain age.
i guess i'm sort of in the opposite position as you. people generally tend to assume i'm older than i am. i finished college early (i was 20) and started work immediately. I was younger than the interns in my office that summer and they were all amazed when i couldn't go certain places because i wasn't 21. it's definitely not a compliment in my situation either...i'm afraid that my young age will become a liability professionally when people remind themselves how young i am and think, "oh she's got plenty of time to move up the corporate ladder, let's promote so-and-so instead," or "she may not be mature enough for this position," etc. i tend to think any time people are so poorly mistaken about your age it's insulting even though you can understand their perspectives.
and also as a side note...i, too, went through the age-guessing game..."guess how old she is!" "WOW! i'm older than you are!"
My close girlfriend is 30 almost 31 and she gets carded for R movies (at one point they tried to charge her the kids fee....yeah she looks that young)
Just the other day at Target she got a look for buying tampons like are you old enough for these sweetie.
We go to bars and guys will ask her what her major is (since she has to at least be 21 or have a fake ID to get in) she laughs and tells them she graduated before they were out of elementary school.
She is shy, and dresses trendy etc, she gets people guessing her age and generally goes through everything you just stated in your post.
She rolls with it though, and as she loves to point out, she looks young, which will be so beneficial when she is in her 40s and 50s.
My only suggestion from watching her, is to kindly tell younger guys you are older than they are. Roll with it, and take it as a compliment that people think you're so young looking.
If someone asks your age, just laugh and say, "Old enough to know not to answer that question."
If it makes you feel better, sometimes people ask me what high school I go to.
Just think of it this way - when you're 60, you'll look 50!
Originally Posted by meatwad
Seriously, I was out Sat. night and went into a bar that's been under new ownership/management since I was last there, and the girl tending bar carded me. Since I turned 30 a couple of weeks ago, it was pretty much an ego boost that I looked young enough to warrant checking.
I did used to sell booze, so I know that you're supposed to ask ANYbody who appears under 30, but still, it was actually nice to hear. I don't think I look especially young, but whatever. I dress fairly casually and wear ponytails and such, so that brings the sophistication level down a bit.
"Even when I've f*&%ed up, I've spun it into a learning experience that's brought me to bigger and better things."
I think I look my age..but I get a lot of shit at work. Like, people will ask me if I'm an intern or a student worker I think it has more to do with the fact that older people can't gage age very well.
Thats a okay response. I've tried responding like that before, but I always manage to come across as a bitch.... people just kinda looked at me like "What's her problem?" I guess I'll have to say it with a smile minus all the extra attitude in my voice...Or next time i'll just be sarcastic and say 45.
I don't get that mostly because I work in a small office and everyone knows me, plus they're not that old, but whenever I'm around older retired people, they always guess young.
Originally Posted by Kitty
Minor threadjack: I got carded last week for the first time in ages. I couldn't remember the last time that happened.
I get the question mostly from vendors..and I find it really rude. This one guy was dropping off my brochures and I was showing him where to set them and he was like, "are you a student here?" I said no. Then he says, "Oh, are you an intern?' I said no. Is it so impossible to believe I WORK here FULL-TIME?!
"I learned when I was like 5 years old that it is rude to ask a woman her age. I guess that is not part of the standard curriculum everywhere."
Whose idea was the corn?
Originally Posted by cache
...and there's that, which is rude, but gets the point across.
this is funny to me b/c i was on a campus a week ago and got mistaken for a student...some lady was trying to find her dauhter's dorm and asked me if i stayed there or knew where it was. i was practically giddy.
Originally Posted by Kitty
Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. ~Buddha
It is easier to build a child, than repair an adult. ~unknown
I have gone to find myself. If I get back before I return, will you keep me here?
control is only an illusion...
I'm in the same boat, I'm 25 and don't look a day over 18.
Whenever I'm chatting with someone (for example, getting a haircut), the first question is always, "so, do you go to school around here?" "off to college in the fall?"
I would think its far worse for a man to hear such things as women.