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  1. #1

    To text after a date?

    This is really a petty question...

    And usually I am pretty decisive about what I should or shouldn't do--I just do what I feel I want to do and should do...

    Anyway, to the point. Sometimes I send out a text after a date and say "Hey, I had a great time. Look forward to doing something again soon."

    Brief and to the point. Why do I do it? Good question. Perhaps for a number of reasons. A) To express my interest and to be genuine in saying I had a good time. B) Cut out the ambiguity that can follow after a first or second date C.) To see, at least as much as you can through a text, if she had a good time and agrees.

    Is this "weak" of me to do?

    Should I just not send that text and make a call in a couple of days to set-up another date?

    I hate games. I am honest and up-front, so I don't need the "games" to help me get dates or feel the need to play games because I don't now how to act in situations. Games are for the confused. I am not one of those.

    Sending the post-date text cuts through games. I am at a point where I want to date/get to know women that aren't going to play games, be flakely, don't have an interest. Sometimes this text can cut through the games. She knows I am interested, there isn't second-guessing. Also, if someone is hesitant about how things are progressing, the text can cut through that as well.

    If she isn't interested it can usually come out in this low-pressure way.

    I think it's better than having a great date, saying nothing for a few days, calling, waiting for a call back, only to find out she really didn't think it went as well. This goes both ways, I think.

    Anyway, just thought I would post this question.

    Thoughts?

  2. #2
    Join Date
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    I don't see anything wrong with sending a quick post-date text. I think it lets the other person know that you had a good time and establishes interest in a future date.
    See once in a while when it's good
    It'll feel like it should/And they're all still around
    And you're safe and sound/And you don't miss a thing
    'til you cry when you're driving away in the dark - Stop This Train -John Mayer


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  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
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    Threadjacking...related question...

    I got a text message today from a guy that simply said "When are we going to go out again? " (We went out Saturday night.) I didn't know how to answer. Truthfully, he's a nice guy, but there's no romantic chemistry/connection whatsoever. Thoughts?

  4. #4
    "I got a text message today from a guy that simply said "When are we going to go out again? " (We went out Saturday night.) I didn't know how to answer. Truthfully, he's a nice guy, but there's no romantic chemistry/connection whatsoever. Thoughts?"


    Did you text him back? At least you know he wants to see you again.

    Personally, I would've called. However, I SOMETIMES do the post-date text just to say I had fun--not to ask a girl out.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Dec 2001
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    I hate texts and would rather get a phone call.
    "Even when I've f*&%ed up, I've spun it into a learning experience that's brought me to bigger and better things."

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
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    Florida
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    Nothing wrong with sending a text that you enjoyed her company. If anything it will stop her from wondering if you really had a great time or not.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
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    Chicago
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    It's cool because you text AND call a few days after the text to make a date. Where are guys like DuckFan where I live?
    You can't have everything....where would you put it all?

    Yes, I blog too.

  8. #8
    Yeah I definately think a post-date text is a good idea. As long as you do call and dont communicate primarily through texts it should be fine. My boyfriend sent me a text like that after our first date and I thought it was very sweet.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
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    The post-date text can be a bit iffy. Sometimes it is welcomed and sometimes it can be overwhelming. With those you normally proceed with caution. I def. agree on not letting it be just an electronic relationship. Although talking on the phone may seem antiquated, it is still a great and personal way to communicate.



    WITH THIS MARKS MY 1000th POST!!!! YIPPPEE...

  10. #10
    NO to the post date text.

    You just saw the person...you want them wanting more. Texting right away fulfills their need for more. If their appetite can't grow, they stop being hungry. Wait....then after you wait, wait some more. THEN call.

  11. #11
    Join Date
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kragthorpe
    NO to the post date text.

    You just saw the person...you want them wanting more. Texting right away fulfills their need for more. If their appetite can't grow, they stop being hungry. Wait....then after you wait, wait some more. THEN call.
    Wait too long, and you might miss out.
    There's sunshine in a smile!

  12. #12
    Of course. If you go out Friday, then don't wait until Easter. But if YOU want to see her, and she equally wants to see you....then you KNOW you want to see her, and therefore she probably feels the same. Just wait enough to calm yourself down a little, then wait maybe one more day. If Friday...maybe wait until Tuesday. But not until Easter.

  13. #13
    I'm a huge fan of post-first date texts. Timing is another issue entirely, but a text v. a call is, in my opinion, way better. If I didn't really like the guy and don't want to go out with him again, it saves us both from having to have the painfully awkward "You're really great and I had a wonderful time on our date, but..." convo over the phone. I can just reply via text if they ask me out that I'm not interested in a decidedly less awkward way.

    And if I did like the guy (I actually had a first date last night that went well and he texted me this morning with something funny), well then it's good. You can have a little bit of witty banter back and forth and then take it from there. You have to be careful though that you don't have texts completely replace phone calls. We sent a few texts each this morning and then I didn't reply to the last one, partly because it was at a natural stopping point, but mostly because I already let him know that I'm interested by texting with him a little bit. Now it's time for him to actually call if he wants to see me again. You've gotta know when to stop. Like Krag said, it's about leaving them wanting more.

  14. #14
    If a guy texted me after a first date, I'd be totally turned off. Pick up the freakin' phone.
    Shakespeare got to get paid, son.

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Dec 2001
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    Quote Originally Posted by embrassezla
    If a guy texted me after a first date, I'd be totally turned off. Pick up the freakin' phone.
    *applauds*

    Same for IMs. If we're meeting up for dates, we're probably past the "I only talk to you via a written medium" phase. If we've had face time, it's okay to go with the phone from now on.
    "Even when I've f*&%ed up, I've spun it into a learning experience that's brought me to bigger and better things."

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