Does it seem like EVERYONE is getting married?

[Empressallie]

Originally Posted by wordsmith

If being a bridesmaid were a more simplified process, I think more people would be comfortable doing it/wouldn't dread it. I'm a big fan of the "Wear a dress...it doesn't matter what dress...this color would be nice, but whatever...and do your hair however you see fit...and do your own makeup" etc. school of bridesmaidery. Really, having attendants is about honoring people important in your life, and giving them a special role in the event. It shouldn't necessarily HAVE to be a lot of pageantry, extra cost, specific staging, costuming, etc.

I think this is exactly it. It's a beautiful day to honor the bride and groom. But really for the bridesmaids its like a YEAR or more of talking about flowers and dresses and hair (one of the bridesmaids for my sister just emailed me about where we are to have brunch and get our nails done NEXT OCTOBER. Can you even make a reservation that far out???). It's nice for the bride to bask in her joy, but totally sucky for the people that have to plan that. And you're made to feel like an asshole if you aren't "so happy for them!!!!"

[wordsmith]

It just doesn't make much sense to turn a position of honor into one that breeds for-real resentment over the course of a year or more.

[pisces2473]

Wow, I'm sorry you guys have been in crappy weddings. Or maybe I was a lower-key bride? I don't know... I did all the chit-chat stuff with my mom (and for a VERY SHORT TIME, with chicas on theknot) about flowers, dresses, etc. My friends were super busy.

My MOH and one BM lived 3 hrs away so they weren't around much and I didn't have the time to bug them, but I didn't dump it all on the other BM who was local. I made everyone get their hair done at the salon (as my gift to them) but they chose the style. I also paid for their nails and they chose the colors. They did their makeup, and I bought them jewelry (that they could wear again--very simple handmade pearl-like beaded necklaces/earrings) also as part of their gift.

I've only been a BM for one friend and it was pretty low-key, b/c she is that way. It ALLLL depends on the bride. I was my aunt's MOH and that was also very low key. I got to wear that dress again, actually.

[Bsig84]

Originally Posted by pisces2473

Wow, I'm sorry you guys have been in crappy weddings. Or maybe I was a lower-key bride? I don't know... I did all the chit-chat stuff with my mom (and for a VERY SHORT TIME, with chicas on theknot) about flowers, dresses, etc. My friends were super busy.

My MOH and one BM lived 3 hrs away so they weren't around much and I didn't have the time to bug them, but I didn't dump it all on the other BM who was local. I made everyone get their hair done at the salon (as my gift to them) but they chose the style. I also paid for their nails and they chose the colors. They did their makeup, and I bought them jewelry (that they could wear again--very simple handmade pearl-like beaded necklaces/earrings) also as part of their gift.

I've only been a BM for one friend and it was pretty low-key, b/c she is that way. It ALLLL depends on the bride. I was my aunt's MOH and that was also very low key. I got to wear that dress again, actually.

Yeah I was the same way. My BMs picked out their own dresses, hair, shoes and jewelry. I didn't ask them to do ANYTHING and I hardly ever talked about the wedding. I think I was so scared to be one of those brides that was so annoying and ONLY talked about the wedding that I was really careful. Of course one BM still found my wedding to be a nuisance.

[Empressallie]

Originally Posted by Bsig84

Yeah I was the same way. My BMs picked out their own dresses, hair, shoes and jewelry. I didn't ask them to do ANYTHING and I hardly ever talked about the wedding. I think I was so scared to be one of those brides that was so annoying and ONLY talked about the wedding that I was really careful. Of course one BM still found my wedding to be a nuisance.

It sounds like you guys were cool brides, although I doubt any crazy brides would actually admit it!

Aside from a MOH (someone to help you get ready, attend to last minute details), I don't really see the point of having a freaking entourage walk down the aisle with you. It just creates more work for everyone. The entourage needs to buy dresses and shoes in odd colors, the bride has to give them gifts...I don't need any more necklaces or earrings or anything. I don't want a MOH gift. One more thing for my sis to think about? Not worth it.

The actual wedding is one thing, I think the worst part is alllll the showers. Just how many gifts does one need for their life choice? Yeah, you are getting married! Now I have to run to Crate and Barrel and furnish your damn kitchen?

[Bsig84]

Originally Posted by Empressallie

It sounds like you guys were cool brides, although I doubt any crazy brides would actually admit it!

Aside from a MOH (someone to help you get ready, attend to last minute details), I don't really see the point of having a freaking entourage walk down the aisle with you. It just creates more work for everyone. The entourage needs to buy dresses and shoes in odd colors, the bride has to give them gifts...I don't need any more necklaces or earrings or anything. I don't want a MOH gift. One more thing for my sis to think about? Not worth it.

The actual wedding is one thing, I think the worst part is alllll the showers. Just how many gifts does one need for their life choice? Yeah, you are getting married! Now I have to run to Crate and Barrel and furnish your damn kitchen?

Yeah but normally the bride does not throw her own showers. I had one that some work friends threw me and that was it. I'm not big on being the center of attention so one was plenty for me!

I do wish I had chosen less bridesmaids. I originally chose my sister as a MOH (but she lives in Chicago and is 18 so I didn't expect her to help at all) and two friends from work. My husband asked his two brothers to be his groomsmen. But then my 3 cousins (2 guys and 1 girl) WANTED to be in the wedding. They actually asked me if they could be in it so of course I said yes. So we ended up with more than I had originally planned on. I was reading our wedding planners blog and she was summarizing a wedding she planned recently. This bride had TWENTY-SIX people in her bridal party. WHAT??

[Empressallie]

Originally Posted by Bsig84

Yeah but normally the bride does not throw her own showers. I had one that some work friends threw me and that was it. I'm not big on being the center of attention so one was plenty for me!

I do wish I had chosen less bridesmaids. I originally chose my sister as a MOH (but she lives in Chicago and is 18 so I didn't expect her to help at all) and two friends from work. My husband asked his two brothers to be his groomsmen. But then my 3 cousins (2 guys and 1 girl) WANTED to be in the wedding. They actually asked me if they could be in it so of course I said yes. So we ended up with more than I had originally planned on. I was reading our wedding planners blog and she was summarizing a wedding she planned recently. This bride had TWENTY-SIX people in her bridal party. WHAT??

It seems like there is pressure to throw the showers though, like if you don't, you must not care or something.

wow - 26 people?! How many people were at the wedding?! Woah!

[Tayl405]

I think the only pre-wedding event I would want would be a bachelorette party, and not one with cheesy penis-necklaces and stuff, but just a night out with my girlfriends. Just because it would be fun! I don't think the rest of the stuff even sounds fun.

I also love the idea of everyone wearing a dress of their choice. Maybe all black cocktail dresses or something. People are particular and I wouldn't feel comfortable making them wear something they don't like or feel self-conscious in.

[wordsmith]

I count my blessings that neither of my sisters in law was the "light up penis necklace bachelorette party" type....by a long shot. My younger sister, however, has it within her to want those types of shenanigans, should she and her SO get engaged.