Dating question - Page 2

dengeist · #16 10-22-2009, 01:56 AM

Unfortunately, it's part of "the game" now. I find it interesting that with the many forms of communication we have, in many ways we've become less communicative.

Try not to take it personally. I know personally, I've met some nice women that just weren't enough to hold my attention and I've kinda just left them hanging. It's kind of hard to explain to someone that they didn't do anything wrong, there just wasn't enough of a spark. I assume that's what it is when I got left hanging too. Try not to feel bad about it, it's going to happen a lot.

wordsmith · #17 10-22-2009, 10:42 AM

There are ways to be clear, though, without being rude. Just like it's rude to give somebody a callous verbal brushoff, it's just as rude to do it nonverbally. Nobody's gonna LIKE being told, "There doesn't seem to be a mutual connection," when THEY'RE attracted, but there are more and less polite ways to convey that.

What really sucks is when you DO convey that, clearly, to somebody, and they still won't give up. Can't fault somebody for being hopeful when you haven't been clear, but I can't have much sympathy for somebody who's still being dogged when I've clearly stated that I'm not interested.

FreeAtLast · #18 11-01-2009, 09:41 PM

it's easy as hell to be shallow and just window shop, ignoring some potentially great mates.

Online dating is also a serial dater's dream. They can date and date and date to their hearts content without any real interest in intimacy.

The best way to meet someone is through friends, that way there's some level of implied respect involved.

J-girl · #19 11-06-2009, 11:22 PM

If I don;t like a guy I will usually know by date 1. In rare cases date 2. I am currently utterly dissatisfied with online dating. I went on a 3-4 online dates this year so far. And one of them was a really wonderful guy who I still think about since we made it to date 5. He just pretty much told me he does not want to commit. He was confused about where he is in life and yada yada yada. I have never been so hurt in my life.
Anyway I met another guy recently (about 5 months later). On the third date, he introduces me to his best friend and best friend's gf over dinner, treats me like his girlfriend all night, we kiss and then I never hear from him again!

Anyways, this last guy just seemed like a serial dater. At this point, I dont want to online date even though I might have to wait a couple of years for a real date and I am 29 years old.

starrynight · #20 11-07-2009, 04:48 AM

so if u made it to the third date what the hell happened to him? do u think he was dating someone else besides you? Did u txt him like every other day or so and still nothing? What a weirdo and a jerk!

J-girl · #21 11-08-2009, 10:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by starrynight

so if u made it to the third date what the hell happened to him? do u think he was dating someone else besides you? Did u txt him like every other day or so and still nothing? What a weirdo and a jerk!

At the end of the third date he said he wanted me over at his place and he wanted to make me dinner and he would pick me up from my place. I told him that was out of the way for him and I will just take the subway. So I text him a day before to check if we are still up for this and he goes no i am having dinner with family etc. and asked to postpone. So basically after that he texted a few more times and then just blew me off when i asked him we are still up for hanging out? So not sure what the hell is up. Mind u on the third date, he was also going on about how he liked me and stuff.

Rage · #22 11-09-2009, 11:09 AM

Maybe he was just trying to get laid? I have never done and probably never will do the online dating thing so I find it fascinating. I hear you get alot of people just looking to get some easy play and fade away. Is this true?

KCboy · #23 11-09-2009, 12:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rage

I hear you get alot of people just looking to get some easy play and fade away. Is this true?

maybe, but nothing more than in everyday life.

guys want sex, and the ones looking for it on-line are no different than the ones you meet at a bookstore, at work, or at a coffee shop.

the people you might meet on-line are the same as you might meet in real life, there's just more access.

wordsmith · #24 11-09-2009, 06:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rage

I hear you get alot of people just looking to get some easy play and fade away. Is this true?

I would also say that doesn't really crop up with anymore frequency than it does in the typical face-to-face dating scene. You have that element anywhere people are on the prowl, but it's not necessarily anymore prevalent online or off, in my experience. Some people are looking for that, some aren't, and if you're not, it's going to be up to you to separate the wheat from the chaff, so to speak. No matter what venue you're using to meet people.

J-girl · #25 11-09-2009, 10:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wordsmith

I would also say that doesn't really crop up with anymore frequency than it does in the typical face-to-face dating scene. You have that element anywhere people are on the prowl, but it's not necessarily anymore prevalent online or off, in my experience. Some people are looking for that, some aren't, and if you're not, it's going to be up to you to separate the wheat from the chaff, so to speak. No matter what venue you're using to meet people.

I agree with that - online dating is no more easier or harder than real life dating. The only difference is you may get a lot more dates online that in real life but the % of success is probably the same (if I had to hazard a guess). But personally I am not a fling sort of a person so I much rather stay away from serial dating that the online variety offers.

There have been some amazing success stories online, I met a few couples who met online who are married and engaged etc.

Sanman111 · #26 Today, 12:46 AM

Despite having started this thread, I have to agree that I don't think that it is any worse than in real life. Actually, I started online dating specifically because I want more than just sex. If I wanted that, then I would have simply continued hitting bars/parties with my friends. I find that my chances of "getting laid" are better when everyone is drinking. However, I rarely found anybody that wanted to converse about more than sports, clothes, and being drunk. Then again, I did find a psychology graduate text in a bar in New York once. Still curious about the owner and if I know him/her.

Three of my best friends met their girlfriends online. Two are on their way to being engaged after 2-3 years and the third is considering movng in with his gf next year.