Meeting the spouse to get the job?

jrwilheim · #1 11-08-2006, 04:08 PM

Okay, Monday I had a very productive meeting/interview with someone I sent a cold letter to. He had not even been really seriously looking for someone before I sent this letter and indicated there was no one else he was considering for this position he was seeking to create as his admin assistant. The position would start part-time in January and go full time after a couple of months.

The only thing is, he wants me to meet his wife first. Basically, he's a solo practitioner in financial planning and he lets his wife have a say in all of his hiring decisions. How should I handle this meeting? I'm supposed to call him next Monday to arrange a time to meet the wife.

pisces2473 · #2 11-08-2006, 04:09 PM

Does she have a lot of experience in staffing, HR, headhunting...? If so, then I can see why he wants her opinion. If not, sounds like she's the real boss...

#3 11-08-2006, 04:11 PM

I guess just call and act like you would with any professional person.

Weird, though. I wonder if she's going to ask you questions or if it's more of just a "chat."

WorkInProgress · #4 11-08-2006, 04:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pisces2473

Does she have a lot of experience in staffing, HR, headhunting...? If so, then I can see why he wants her opinion. If not, sounds like she's the real boss...

Pretty much. But I can see why a solo practitioner would want the opinion of a person who they trust.

jrwilheim · #5 11-08-2006, 04:13 PM

I'm not sure. The guy works out of his apartment, so I'm thinking maybe he wants her input for that reason. I really don't know.

I'm also kind of wondering if this means his personal business will get mixed in with his professional business...am I going to be sent to pick up the kids from daycare?

pisces2473 · #6 11-08-2006, 04:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WorkInProgress

Pretty much. But I can see why a solo practitioner would want the opinion of a person who they trust.

Also, maybe she's a silent partner in the business? Is he an LLC or an Inc? She might be something like the VP (in title only). Or because it's "their" money that he makes from the business, she might want to see what you're like.

pisces2473 · #7 11-08-2006, 04:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jrwilheim

I'm also kind of wondering if this means his personal business will get mixed in with his professional business...am I going to be sent to pick up the kids from daycare?

You should definitely address this with them.

#8 11-08-2006, 04:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jrwilheim

I'm not sure. The guy works out of his apartment, so I'm thinking maybe he wants her input for that reason. I really don't know.

I'm also kind of wondering if this means his personal business will get mixed in with his professional business...am I going to be sent to pick up the kids from daycare?

A lot of people who own their own business and have a very small staff do treat the people like it's one big family. My last job was a little like that - only I was like the shunned stepchild that no one liked.

WorkInProgress · #9 11-08-2006, 04:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jrwilheim

I'm not sure. The guy works out of his apartment, so I'm thinking maybe he wants her input for that reason. I really don't know.

I'm also kind of wondering if this means his personal business will get mixed in with his professional business...am I going to be sent to pick up the kids from daycare?

This is something you should know before accepting or declining the position. Because that's what a personal assistant might do, not an administrative assistant.

weary · #10 11-08-2006, 04:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jrwilheim

I'm not sure. The guy works out of his apartment, so I'm thinking maybe he wants her input for that reason. I really don't know.

I'm also kind of wondering if this means his personal business will get mixed in with his professional business...am I going to be sent to pick up the kids from daycare?

are you going to be working out of the apt too?

jrwilheim · #11 11-08-2006, 04:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WorkInProgress

This is something you should know before accepting or declining the position. Because that's what a personal assistant might do, not an administrative assistant.

Yeah...although I'm not adverse to doing it. I'm willing to work in a more informal environment, I'd just like to know up front.

WorkInProgress · #12 11-08-2006, 04:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jrwilheim

Yeah...although I'm not adverse to doing it. I'm willing to work in a more informal environment, I'd just like to know up front.

Exactly. You should not be ambushed with this sort of thing afterwards.

winneythepooh7 · #13 11-08-2006, 04:26 PM

Yes, definitely ask questions. I've heard horror stories where spouses were involved.

WorkInProgress · #14 11-08-2006, 04:29 PM

You want us to start coming up with questions to ask?

sparky88 · #15 11-08-2006, 04:42 PM

This employer probably wants you to meet his wife because it's a small company, and it might be important to him that you all get along. Perhaps he believes his wife is a better judge of character for some unknown reason. Or, maybe the wife is affiliated with the business in some way that is unknown to you so her input is needed. Either way, I wouldn't sweat it at all.

I once worked for a company of 10-15 people, including 3 married couples. There were no problems and the work environment was really fun. Also, no one was ever expected to babysit anyone's kids or do special favors. It was very professional. I work at the same company as my husband right now, and we don't bring our personal life to work. Again, my advice would be to just go with it...and see where it takes you!!