Friends vs. Significant Others

[klo1335]

I was always the girl who used to get mad at my friends when they wanted to spend time with their SO instead of their friends. But now since I have been in a relationship, I feel myself growing away from some of my friends. Especially the ones who just want to drink and "party it up." It seems that the only time I get together with my friends is when there is a party or going out for drinks. Because of this I find myself wanting to spend more time with my SO instead of getting drunk with my friends. Is this wrong of me? I don't want to be labeled as a "smug married" but I also just don't see the fun in getting crazy-drunk all the time. Can anyone else relate to this?

I am right there with you. No desire to hit the bars and waste money on dumbstuff. I'fd arther spend Friday night at home with my fiancee watching a movie and relaxing.

[TankgirlyC]

There is a happy medium. Just because your friends are partying and getting drunk doesnt mean that if you go out with them you have to do the same.
WHy not go out with them to spend some time with them?

Its great to enjoy curling up with your SO for a movie on a Friday night....but you both need time with friends to keep those relationships going, to not lose your friends, and also to have time away so you have other things to talk about.

[supershigirl]

i think it's important to try and maintain a balance. my bf and i are usually together on the weekends, but we are almost always with either my friends or his friends and their SOs. most of my friends are not single, so it works out....

but, my bf is also gone for 6 months / year (starting in 11 days ) and then a lot of times i am hanging out with other couples or hoping for a girls night.

so while i think it's impt to try to balance your friends and your bf, it can be really hard.

[heatherf]

Klo-
This is totally normal and it's what I am going through- but I don't really feel like I have any friends anymore. AND I'm starting to notice that I CAN'T drink tons and stay up all night unless I want to completly write the next day off to a bad hangover. My body is no longer the rubber band I once thought it to be.

And I think it's a natural progression to be with just your SO/bf/husband....and you will start to make new friends with other couples and in a few years other parents.

I think it's just a matter of accepting it as a part of life- and your friends will go through the same thing.

[klo1335]

Now I am not saying that I am ditching my friends. It's just that when I hang out with them...I feel like we are moving in different directions.

[heatherf]

Klo- you are and it's ok.

[coll214]

I think it's also important to at least stay in some contact w/ them. You never know what may happen. I agree w/ you though on the stop going out drinking when they are all doing that. It's hard when they're all single. But i think it's also a good idea to keep at least keep a few friends that are seperate from your SO, a whole nother support system for those just in case moments...

[klo1335]

I talk to my friends at least once a day. I need that contact with females to vent and gossip with It's just the friends that only want to drink and get crazy that I feel myself moving away from. But I guess it's a natural thing that will happen.