Getting Blamed When It's Not Your Fault

PenforPrez · #1 08-19-2009, 01:26 PM

Hi kids, I need to vent for a moment.

I've just had it with this manager who blames me for everything when none of it was purposely my doing! I just had an incident with said manager, and my head is about to explode.

We have back ordered items, and we have discontinued items. Some colors in items we post on our website are discontinued and now out of stock. When customers order those, I get a sheet to email them and let them know. The manager in question usually compiles that information twice a day and hands me the sheet. She was not here the last two days, so on Monday, the other manager compiled it with ALL BACKORDERED ITEMS, instead of just the discontinued ones.

I knew it was off, but I didn't say anything. I figured I would have incurred the angry manager's wrath if I did say something, so I quietly emailed all of them. I did the right thing; customers were happy to be notified and cheerfully canceled most of their back ordered items.

So the angry manager calls me in today and gets angry with me first for not saying the sheet was compiled incorrectly. Then she yells at me for those orders being canceled; she originally tried to say I screwed it up, but I wasn't letting her do that. Then she got mad for my not saying anything.

WHAT THE FUCK?! I DID THE RIGHT THING! I MADE ONE SMALL ERROR THAT I CORRECTED, AND THAT WAS ALL! I DID WHAT WAS NECESSARY, AND I'M BEING BLAMED FOR IT??!! JESUS CHRIST, WHAT A BUNCH OF IGNORANT SHIT!

I got so angry afterwards that I beat my chair a couple of times and stormed outside, just barely able to restrain myself from some very colorful language. That happened 30 minutes and I'm still shaking in anger and confusion. Then, the manager comes to my desk on her way out to lunch and says with a pleasant tone, "Paul, you did a good job on those back order emails, thanks."

What the fuck. . . ? I simply do not understand what happened there. THIS JOB IS JUST NOT WORTH IT ANYMORE!

Sorry kids. As you were.

Paul

NovaGrad05 · #2 08-20-2009, 08:53 AM

I agree that you did what your manager instructed you to do, and then got yelled at, and that sucks. She was upset that she messed up, and she took it out on you.

I figured I would have incurred the angry manager's wrath if I did say something

If something comes across my desk that looks incorrect, I speak up. I have NO idea what your work atmosphere and bosses are like, but I think you should have spoken up to her. At my previous job I had a manager who thought she knew everything and really did not like when I questioned something, so I had to do it as diplomatic as possible. While I wanted to walk in there and say "I think you may have messed this up", that just is not an option in the workplace. I would e-mail her something like, "When you get a chance, can you take a look at this? I normally do not get this many back ordered items, and I just want to make sure that this is correct before I reach out to the customers and give them any incorrect information."

This way, there is a record of you reaching out to her with your concerns, you just say something does not look right and indicate any error on her part, and you make it about the customers, not about the mistake.

The original reason you did not say something was because you did not want to "incur the wrath", and it looks like it happened anyway. If it's going to happen either way at this job, I'd rather get it in the beginning and be correct.

PenforPrez · #3 08-20-2009, 01:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NovaGrad05

If something comes across my desk that looks incorrect, I speak up. I have NO idea what your work atmosphere and bosses are like, but I think you should have spoken up to her. At my previous job I had a manager who thought she knew everything and really did not like when I questioned something, so I had to do it as diplomatic as possible. While I wanted to walk in there and say "I think you may have messed this up", that just is not an option in the workplace. I would e-mail her something like, "When you get a chance, can you take a look at this? I normally do not get this many back ordered items, and I just want to make sure that this is correct before I reach out to the customers and give them any incorrect information."

This way, there is a record of you reaching out to her with your concerns, you just say something does not look right and indicate any error on her part, and you make it about the customers, not about the mistake.

The original reason you did not say something was because you did not want to "incur the wrath", and it looks like it happened anyway. If it's going to happen either way at this job, I'd rather get it in the beginning and be correct.

In retrospect, that was what I should have done. I didn't because no matter what proof or justification I provide showing that I acted correctly, I will always be wrong.

On a brighter note, everybody else is on my side on this one. Another manager also got a chewing out (undeservedly), and she said I did the right thing. Yay! Gold star for me!

Paul

NovaGrad05 · #4 08-20-2009, 03:44 PM

Glad to hear it worked out for you. Its a tough call. So many people take it so personally when you question their work. Everyone needs to relax, everyone makes mistakes.

If someone gives me pushback when I question something they have done, I usually play dumb, even though I am pretty sure they are wrong. I say something like "I am not trying to be a pain, there is just something about this I do no understand. I can't do this work and put my name on it if I dont understand it, can you please help me out?"

It seems like when you say that, that you are putting your name on something, you are taking ownership and want to make sure you are doing it correctly and just asking for their help, people respond better. Ahhhh the games we play. Wouldn't it be nice if we didnt have to?

winneythepooh7 · #5 08-20-2009, 04:06 PM

Other then the job OOS, how is the job search going otherwise Paul?

PenforPrez · #6 08-20-2009, 05:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by winneythepooh7

Other then the job OOS, how is the job search going otherwise Paul?

OOS?

It's slow going. The only industry with a lot of openings here is healthcare, and most of that is clinical work. I'm still none too sure what kind of work I want to do, but I'm pursing a couple of ideas to see where they lead. Fingers crossed. I need all the luck I can get.

Paul

PenforPrez · #7 08-20-2009, 08:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NovaGrad05

Glad to hear it worked out for you. Its a tough call. So many people take it so personally when you question their work. Everyone needs to relax, everyone makes mistakes.

It didn't work out for me at all. The manager simply shut up, and that ended this episode. Nothing positive was accomplished. She's always looking for something to blame me for, and I'm not the only person she does this to. She doesn't want to accept responsibility for anything, so she blames it on other people.

I'm just trying to figure out what I can do. I simply have exhausted what little tolerance I have for this. One more outburst like this, and I will either spew forth an amazing torrent of vulgarity and get fired, or just storm out, which would not be much better. Problem is, I have no cards to play. If I go to the owner of the company, he will do absolutely nothing about it.

Paul

PenforPrez · #8 08-21-2009, 01:23 PM

So a couple of friends and I discussed the situation, and we decided that, really, I have no good options here. Other than magically finding a new job, which I'm none too confident about.

What do you do when you're an about-to-be dead duck waiting to be shot?

Paul

NovaGrad05 · #9 08-21-2009, 02:00 PM

Sorry, I misunderstood and thought the original manager eventually agreed with what you did, not a different one.

Are there any openings in another group within your organization? A position where you would not have to deal with this manager?

winneythepooh7 · #10 08-21-2009, 02:34 PM

Paul, I may have a little free time this weekend, so I am going to try to make it a point to "job search" a little bit for you and give you some ideas of places that at the very least, you should just apply to and see what happens.

callyna81 · #11 08-21-2009, 08:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PenforPrez

So a couple of friends and I discussed the situation, and we decided that, really, I have no good options here. Other than magically finding a new job, which I'm none too confident about.

What do you do when you're an about-to-be dead duck waiting to be shot?

Paul

You minimise the damage to yourself, I guess. Don't provoke it, cruise on neutral as much as is humanly possible and go crazy on the job-search. If there's no ideal job likely on the immediate horizon, look at one that will have neutral effect - i.e, at least it will be a secure paycheck if nothing else. Which may still sound a little depressing, but it's probably preferable to the current situation....

ebrillblaiddes · #12 08-21-2009, 08:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by callyna81

You minimise the damage to yourself, I guess. Don't provoke it, cruise on neutral as much as is humanly possible and go crazy on the job-search. If there's no ideal job likely on the immediate horizon, look at one that will have neutral effect - i.e, at least it will be a secure paycheck if nothing else. Which may still sound a little depressing, but it's probably preferable to the current situation....

Agreed. Mathematically speaking, the value of PissyBoss is negative, so if we assume otherwise equivalent jobs:
Job > Job + PissyBoss

PenforPrez · #13 08-24-2009, 02:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by callyna81

You minimise the damage to yourself, I guess. Don't provoke it, cruise on neutral as much as is humanly possible and go crazy on the job-search. If there's no ideal job likely on the immediate horizon, look at one that will have neutral effect - i.e, at least it will be a secure paycheck if nothing else. Which may still sound a little depressing, but it's probably preferable to the current situation....

That's been the plan so far. I don't like customer service (the whole thing is a collective circle jerk) and I want to get out of it, but that's where a lot of my experience lies, so I've been looking for things in that field.

Thing is, said manager will blame me for ANYTHING if she can avoid responsibility. Then she wonders why I don't like to socialize with her. Because I don't go around petting tigers (or rabbits) with nasty big pointy teeth!

I seriously live in fear at work of random reprisals from this woman. I should not have to live in fear of people i work with, you know? I'm giving serious thought to just taking a job at Starbucks to get out of this job. A job there would not be a serious pay cut, sadly (maybe 20% at most) and Starbucks has more benefits (my job now has literally none), apart from the fact my employer doesn't pay overtime.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ebrillblaiddes

Agreed. Mathematically speaking, the value of PissyBoss is negative, so if we assume otherwise equivalent jobs:
Job > Job + PissyBoss

I love this!

That's a very good way of putting it!

Quote:

Originally Posted by winneythepooh7

Paul, I may have a little free time this weekend, so I am going to try to make it a point to "job search" a little bit for you and give you some ideas of places that at the very least, you should just apply to and see what happens.

Oh thanks hun!

That would help out a lot right now.

Paul

callyna81 · #14 08-24-2009, 05:55 AM

The way I see it,

Current Job (- benefits) (+ *extra discretionary spending to make current life more liveable - ie food, social activities, etc ) is < Starbucks (+ benefits) (+ increased mental health) ( - *unnecessary spending)

*assumed. But totally understandable, if that's the case.

ebrillblaiddes · #15 08-24-2009, 03:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by callyna81

The way I see it,

Current Job (- benefits) (+ *extra discretionary spending to make current life more liveable - ie food, social activities, etc ) is < Starbucks (+ benefits) (+ increased mental health) ( - *unnecessary spending)

*assumed. But totally understandable, if that's the case.

I actually know a teacher from my first job out of college (the one with insane stress levels making people cry) who did pretty much that equation. Starbucks and everything.